May 18th,
The warm breeze carried the usual sweet scent of maple and cinnamon as the golden green trees swayed back and forth. The leaves hung on for dear life as they danced with the wind. The crickets, or maybe cicadas, sang as the morning sun shines a golden glow all around us.
It was a typical morning. A calm, peaceful start of the day. Such a perfect looking day hardly ever existed in a reality such as this. If I were to know the exact day of my death, I'd want it to be on a day like this.
"No turning back now." I said to myself as I walked into the woods with my dad's rope in my hands.
My dad's rope. The only object that keeps the memories I shared with my father alive inside my head. An object that has gotten me out of many tough situations.
It would be a waste if such an object weren't put to good use.
I forced myself to wake up from that horrible dream. I was startled to see that I had awoken to the same day that was deceived in my dream, but realized where I was and was able to calm myself down.
"You're so lazy," Emily said, standing at the doorway of the shed. "Get up before you fall asleep again."
I did as she said and got myself up.
We continued our journey through the woods as we kept silent for most of the walk.
"Hey, why are we walking in the first place?" Emily asked.
"It helps calm me down," I said. "Whenever I feel scared, I walk for a little while. Helps calm me down so that I can get the important stuff done with."
"I'd rather hide than walk. Hiding makes me feel much safer. Safer from bad people like my father and the Man in White."
"Man in White?"
She never mentioned him before.
"Who was this Man in White." I asked.
"He was dressed in all white. White cot. White pants. White hat. White shoes. His skin was much paler than my daddy's. He looked like a business man. He was a really scary man. Much scarier than my daddy."
"Scary how," I asked. "What did that man do to you?"
Emily hesitated for a long time before she answered my question. He lips quivered with fear and her tears were about to start falling again.
I've come to regret ever asking her that question.
"He would always take me to his car and drive to a large field of grass. Nobody was anywhere near us. I was always in the backseat."
"Hey, you can stop if you want to." I told her.
She didn't listen.
"That man told me that I was to only wear a small dress. He said it was less trouble to deal with."
"Emily...please stop."
I was begging her at that point.
"What is love exactly? I hear so many other kids at my school talk about it, but I can't seem to figure it out. If love is a beautiful thing, then why did it hurt for me?"
Emily was choking through every word she spoke. She tried to stay as composed as possible as she was desperately trying to get the entire story out to me.
"Just stop Emily," I said, my head filled with anger and fear.
"Pleas tell me, Alex. Does love hurt or not? I'd love something that you but with money? Is love always one-sided? Is love supposed to make you cry?! Is love...is love..."
Emily collapsed to the ground, her entire body shook violently as she strained to keep the tears from falling. All she wanted to do was finish her story.
"Is love...supposed...to ruin your life..."
...
"No," I answered without even thinking for a second. "The love you went through didn't hurt. Or make you cry. It was never one-sided or bought with money. And it didn't ruin your life. Why? Because what you went through..."
I knelt down to her and hugged her tightly.
"...what you went through wasn't love at all."
Emily didn't say another word for a while. The sounds that she made were only cries that could be heard up from heaven.
This little girl was lied to. She was hurt, treated like an object, and was trapped her entire life. Nobody ever tried to offer her a hand. Whether she asked for help or not, they should've at least asked if she was ok.
Reality is a terrible place. Who would ever want a second chance at it in the first place?
Wait...no. It's not reality's fault. We were just unfortunate enough to have been born with the wrong kinds of people. It wasn't reality that gave us those shitty lives. It was the people that we lived with who made out lives a living hell.
Seriously! Why the hell should we have to suffer because of your problems! Yeah sure, dad ran out on us mom! I get it! It must've been hard. But I grew up! Why the fuck could you not do the same thing?! Why did you just continue to make thing worse and worse for yourself?! Why?! TELL ME GODDAMMIT!!!
And why does Emily have to suffer for your problems, huh?! Selling your own little girl like that for a cheap buck... What?! Do you feel proud?! Was it worth the money?! WAS IT?!
"DAMN THIS WORLD AND EVERYONE IN IT," I screamed into the evening sun. "WHY DO WE HAVE TO SUFFER?! WHAT DID WE EVER DO TO TOU?! WE NEVER HURT YOU! HELL, WE NEVER EVEN GOT A CHANCE TO THINK ILL ABOUT YOU!!! So why...WHY THE HELL DID YOU LEAVE US WITH SUCH HORRIBLE PEOPLLLLEEEE?!!"
I fell down on my shoulder as I collapsed to the ground. I still had Emily wrapped in my arms. I didn't want to let her go. No way in hell was I ever going to let those people take her. They can all just rot in hell.
"Aren't we going to go find a shed?" Emily asked.
I looked at Emily. She wasn't at all scared by what I was doing. Instead, she looked a little concerned about me.
I had to calm myself down. Freaking out like this isn't going to do anything for either of us.
"Heh, sorry about that," I said with a fake chuckle. "I didn't mean to freak out like that. Though, I am surprised that you aren't scared by me at all. Why do you trust me so much?"
"Well that's easy," Emily said as she wiped away her tears. "Remember when I was hiding from you every time you turned around and saw me following you?"
I guess she's referring to when we first met.
"When you went inside that shed, I was a little upset because I always slept inside of them, so I decided to go inside and make you wake up by hitting you with a stick."
Well that's a little harsh.
"But then I saw how restless you were. You looked like you were having a nightmare about something, so I slept next to you so that you could calm down. I held your hand and told you that everything was going to be ok and you calmed down instantly."
Wow, how pathetic. To be cheered up by an elementary school kid. I feel kinda sorry for myself.
"Then, when you woke up, you saw me and suddenly just bursted out through the doorway and ran off. I'd say that you were more scared of me than I was of you. Hehe!"
"Again, I was just surprised. Not scared." I said.
"Sure." Emily said with a smirk.
We lay down on our back and looked at the evening sun start to set into a starry night.
"What do they call this?" Emily asked me.
"It's called stargazing," I answered. "My dad took me to a desert one time to go stargazing. I thought that he was a complete idiot at first, but then I realized how beautiful it was and decided to just shut my mouth."
"Is this the same sky from that desert?"
"Yep."
I could tell that Emily really loved the stars since she started at them with a bright smile on her face. I hope that I can keep that smile on her face for a while longer.
"Hey, you mind if I ask you a question?" Emily asked.
"You just did." I joked.
"Ok, then how about two more questions?"
"Heh. Clever girl."
"Why do you want me to live so badly?"
It was a question that I wasn't expecting to be asked, but luckily I had an answer for it.
"Because some people deserve a second chance at life. Someone I know taught me that."
"You really think that I can get a second chance?" Emily asked.
"Of course I do," I said. "In fact, I know you will."
"Ok, then what about you?"
The first thought that came to my mind when she asked me that was of when I first met Cole, so that made my answer obvious.
"Whether I deserve it or not doesn't matter," I said to her. "I'm going to do whatever I can to get that second chance. I can't leave Cole all alone like that. I made a promise to him, so I plan on keeping it."
"Hehe! Cole and Alex sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G~!" Emily sang.
"Haha, how mature."
Before I knew it, we both fell asleep on our back. The sound of crickets, or maybe cicadas, echoed throughout the night. The stars lit up the night sky, but weren't too bright. The night was warm enough and the humidity was like a blanket that kept us comfortable. It was a perfect night for sleeping.
I wish I could retry that night. Having to pretend to be asleep while hearing the sound of many footsteps approaching you wasn't very pleasant. But at least they walked off.
I stayed up for the rest of the night and watched over Emily, making sure that whoever that was never came back.