May 14th
I've never slept in a ferris wheel before and neither have I ridden one. I thought I would wake up with an aching body, but I felt surprisingly comfortable.
Peaceful.
Maybe it was because of Cole. He was still sleeping soundly right beside me. He never even let go of my right arm. He was in the same position that I last saw him in when I fell asleep.
I wish we could've done this on a bed.
I read a many blogs on the internet one time when I was 14. Girls and some guys have said that first times were supposed to hurt at first. I didn't dwell any pain and Cole didn't look like he felt any either.
Does pain not exist here?
No, it does exist. But maybe just not physically. Just imagining Cole cry is enough to make my heart ache in pain. I guess all our pain is inside us.
I remember the last time I ever felt physical pain. It hurt a lot worse than I thought it would, but it only lasted for a second until I went completely numb.
I feel guilty now.
Cole finally woke up. It was late in the morning. He wasted no time in kissing my good morning. Though, it lasted much longer than it should've.
Cole didn't write anything else after that. Instead, he held my hand and lay his head on my right shoulder as we walked through an empty park and into the woods.
This forrest was from my side. The same smell of cinnamon and maple filled our noses as we walked past the trees filled with golden green leaves.
The sun was at its peak. The afternoon. Cole and I looked at each other, knowing exactly what that meant.
Cole took out a piece of paper and showed it to me. It read:
"Thanks you for helping me find a second chance. I hope you find yours too someday."
Cole flipped the paper to the other side. It read:
"When you find your second chance, let's meet here..."
It was a picture of the Gateway Arch in St. Louis, Missouri. I lived right above that state. It wasn't too far.
"Ok, I will." I said, with a tearful smile.
Suddenly, a golden light started enveloping around Cole. He slowly started to disappear right in front of me.
"..."
Cole was mouthing something to me. His voice never came out, but I could read the words that he tried to say to me. My smile grew bigger.
"I love you too." I said back.
Cole smiled the biggest smile that I ever saw. And then, he disappeared.
I don't think that I've ever cried even once in my entire life. I startled myself when my sons escaped from my mouth. The tearful pain of watching someone you love disappear.
Crying really hurts, but it also eases the pain. Heh, kinda ironic right?
I must've sat there sobbing my eyes out for hours until I heard someone walking closer to me.
I didn't even think of my next words. They just escaped from my mouth.
"Cole?" I asked as I turned around.
Cole wasn't there. Instead, there was a little girl standing behind a tree. She had straight, black hair that went down to her shoulders, eyes of a brown leaf, and wore a pale white gown that went all the way down to her feet.
It looked a little too big for her.
She looked like she was hiding from something.
Me?
I wiped away the tears, trying to hide any evidence of me crying from this little girl, and got up and walked away.
*CRUNCH!* *CRUNCH!*
I knew that the little girl was following me, but every time I turned around, she hid herself away from me.
I didn't have the energy or mentality to even bother trying to talk. I just wanted to cry somewhere alone for a little longer more.
It's nighttime. This girl is still following me. She followed me all the way to some weird looking shed on the side of the road. I decided to take shelter there and went inside.
The little girl didn't follow me inside. Thank god. I can finally go to sleep.
There wasn't a bed in here, but I still had my backpack that had my blanket and pillow. I hope that little girl finds somewhere that she can sleep. Then again, what is someone who looks so young doing in a place like this?