I slowly open my eyes, and I was in a hospital bed. HEY! THIS ISN'T AN ISEKAI. I'VE BEEN BAMBOOZLED. HOW DARE ALL THOSE FAN FICTIONS AND ISEKAI STORIES LIE TO ME. FUCK ALL OF THEM.
My parents, brother, and my uncles and aunts were all around me. I looked toward my legs. I was still in my adult body. I still had the slightly muscular frame with some flab covering my stomach. Not that I could see it, being covered in bandages and all.
Finally, the Doctor came in.
"Hello, are you this young man's family?"
My parents responded "Yes, all of us are family. Is he going to be ok? Is there anything wrong with him?"
Aside from me being railed by a truck, I think I'm fine.
"Ok, I have to tell you some good news and some bad news." The doctor said.
"The bad first Doc." I say. Fuck, speaking hurts. My ribs have probably broke or fractured. I didn't think something I'm so used to would hurt this much.
"Hey! Hey! You're awake! I thought you would have liked to rest a bit longer, given what happened." My uncle said to me.
"Well I feel like a truck ran over me, but I'll walk it off"
"Clever, but I wouldn't be making jokes like that if I were you." My dad responds. "Anyway, Doctor Gopal, you were about to give us some good and bad news?"
"Ahem. Yes. Before I tell you, I'm glad you woke up kid. You're resilient. Now, for the Bad news, you've broken just about all of your ribs, and your collarbone." Doctor Gopal starts. "And you'll be in here for the foreseeable future."
"And the good news?" My mom asks this time.
"Well, none of your bones shattered, and you don't seem to have any head injuries. So you lucked out pretty hard kiddo."
"I guess I have a valid reason to miss class now, huh neat." I point out.
"Oh no you don't. You put in too much effort in getting into NYU to even think about missing classes. Besides, you can take Zoom Calls for School." My mom responds.
Right…
Damn COVID.
"Ok."
I just realized; I have a KILLER story for future dates.
[TIMESKIP NO JUTSU]
Welp, I'm back in the hospital again. The first time since the time I bested Truck-Kun, rejected the will of a god, 61 years ago. I'm a 79-year-old man now. I lived to the age of an average human. My life, however, was anything but. I was consistently hunted by Trucks. Every time I turned a corner, I would have to look over my shoulder. Every time I crossed the street, there was a white truck there to isekai me.
I chose to live safely. By becoming a shut-in. I played all sorts of video games and I even created a few. I came up with a unique game called Flappy Bird. That kickstarted my programming career. I then joined a company called Riot Games. I helped program a great 5 v 5 strategy game called League of Legends.
After working hard, I started working on my own company. I decided to build a new VR device. It would allow the user to play competly immersive games. This would also allow the gamer's body to rest while enjoying a second life in their 'dreams'. Luckily, there was no major incident with my tech (mainly because I got an extension for my deadline and didn't have to stay up for three weeks without sleep). No major terrorist group hacking the servers nor going insane and personally locking the players in the game. There was also no death game involved, so no real need to clear the game, but it would still be fun to try. There was also this kid I ran into (in the game). His name was Kirito or something, he came up with the weapon called: The Mithril Pebble of Pig Smiting. He was the biggest smart-ass, but I found him entertaining, so I slowly integrated his ideas into the game and killed him with them.
It was fun, I saw him completely confused and near a breakdown every time he decided to be cheeky.
I forgot to mention, I married my girlfriend from college. We had 2 kids and grew old together.
Life was good to me, so now I can finally rest. I closed my eyes for the last time.
.
.
.
.
And that's when I was finally hit by Truck-Kun again. Somehow he had driven up a massive ramp to hit me.