Well, as the title of this chapter probably says, everything was black.
I'm not kidding. It was so dark that I couldn't see my nose in front of me. Or see if I had a nose at all.
Whatever, I lived a good life, I can't wait to meet God. I hope I get into heaven; it would be awkward if I'm getting so hyped about nothing. Now that I think about it, if I go to hell, would anybody even witness my embarrassment? I hope not. Yikes!
As I am thinking to myself, the room slowly starts brightening up, and I see a bunch of figures around me. There is a ton of chatter. Huh, I thought the afterlife was supposed to be quiet and oppressive. Damn those Fan Fictions and Isekai novels. I guess the awkwardness of the situation would silence a lot of people. I guess the people I'm with right now like to drown silence in sound.
"Hey, did you hear? The hospital where the Owner of Isekai Inc. had a truck crash into the 30th floor?"
"What! Really? Was anyone hurt? Is it possible he died in a truck accident? I mean from what the rumors say, he was hit by a truck when he was in college, and he's been chased by trucks ever since."
"Now that you mention it, Truck-kun might have a revenge fantasy planned for him now lol"
"Hahahaha… Don't the two of you know it's rude to talk about someone behind their backs? And to answer your question, kiddo, I was not killed by that truck. Though I wouldn't be surprised if Truck-Kun did try."
"WHOA! Sir, I didn't expect to see you here? Where are we? Is this a new game?"
"I don't know. I know I died, but what about you two? How did you two end up here?"
"Oh…" The first kid looked embarrassed. "I kinda dove in front of a truck to fulfill my dream of becoming an Isekai protagonist. I know, it's kind of stupid."
"Hahaha, we have a dreamer on our hands. But what about your parents? Friends? Girl/Boyfriend? I mean, Isekai has its charm, but wouldn't you have had the same experience in any VR game now?"
"I guess I didn't think of that… But there's nothing I can do now."
"What about you," I say, pointing to the other.
"Ah, I guess it's ok to say it. I was trying to sneak into my best friend's place for his birthday, and I saw him with my girlfriend. I left that place dejected, and got killed in a mugging not 5 minutes after."
"Damn that bastard of a 'girlfriend', she's nothing but a hoe. And that 'best friend' of yours, An asshole. He didn't even try to apologize; not like that would have made it any better. May they both burn in hell."
[Elsewhere, at the Funeral of the Second Lad]
THUNDER RUMBLES
"The cause of this young man's death was tragic…"
"My son… He's gooooooooooooooooone" a MILF weeps.
"I'm sorry for your loss ma'am." The 'best friend' of the kid tries to comfort the MILF.
"Za Waradooooo!" time stops for everyone except the 'best friend' and ex-girlfriend and a figure wearing black and yellow arrives. "I am DIO. And I am here to take the reasons for innocent's death away from this plane. The mugger is dealt with, but the reasons he was in the streets aren't."
"What do you mean by that sir?" The 'best friend' asks.
"You two." The man points at the best friend and girlfriend. "You are the reason he was on that street. As you may or may not know, he had gone to surprise his 'best friend' on his birthday. However, you don't know what he saw there. You two, spooning in the bed, completely naked. That is when he decided to return. The reason he was in the street. I am here for retribution."
As soon as the figure cloaked in black finished, he grabbed both the kid's best friend and the ex-girlfriend. Then, out of nowhere, the ground opened up and swallowed the three figures. And time restarts, the world missing two more people as if they fell off the face of the earth.
[Back in the Formerly Lonely Black Room]
"LMAO! There is no way that your upperclassman decided to strip after your theater performance!" the kids laughed.
I was entertaining them with tales of my youth. "He very much so did, all the way down to his boxers. And he didn't do it to any song either. He did it to Shakira's "Hips Don't Lie". And the 20 of us guys who were there were we couldn't stop getting hype. It was a unique experience."
RUMBLES
The room started shaking and the lighting dimmed before sputtering out completely. I tried grabbing the kids and pulling them behind me into the corner, but before I could I lost all my senses once again. This time, I could only feel dread. It wasn't for me, but those kids. Growing older really made me miss the sentimental times of my youth. I hope the kids end up fine, though they might have to rely on the power of YOUTH, as Guy Sensei would say.
"Hello there" an unknown voice begins.
"General Kenobi," I had to interject. It was my duty as a Star Wars fan and a lover of Prequel memes it was my duty.
"You really are a bold one" the unknown voice. "I've never had anyone interrupt me. Most people just cower in fear or act like they own this place. 'Who are you?' or 'Where am I?' It's so stupid. At least they have curiosity. You, on the other hand, made a meme out of me."
"Heh, I would apologize, but it wouldn't be genuine. And I guess I'd be scared if I wasn't already dead. Anyway, since I lack curiosity, I guess I'll copy my predecessor(s)? and ask: who are you? Why am I here? And those kids I was talking to earlier, are they OK?"