Why would I want to kiss you?
Yeah, that still stings. It's been almost a day since that happened, and I've been avoiding him ever since.
Zack basically made it clear that the thought of us kissing or even being together is gross, probably impossible, and it kills me, so yeah, instead of confronting my problems, I run away from them.
"Where were you this morning?" Zack demands as he joins us at the lunch table the following day. Never mind that there are people watching us, just yell at me in front of everyone like I'm your daughter.
"School. Which is where I still am." I mutter, picking on my lunch.
I feel his glare on me. "I was supposed to drive you."
I raise my eyes slowly to look at him. "You're not my driver. I have my own car."
Our friends all have worried looks on their faces, and I'm surprised that they're worried because Zack and I fight all the time.
Yeah, it's probably never been this bad. Mom was shocked this morning when I asked her for my car keys. I couldn't even remember the last time I drove, apart from today of course.
Zack's jaw clenches, but he looks away from me and doesn't say anything.
Not even a week later, when homecoming proposals have begun.
I feel like he's waiting for me to realise something, and I hate it when he makes me feel like an idiot.
"Come on, Aubrey. Don't you think you're being too hard on him?" Erika says. I told her and Peyton about what had happened, and I'm not even sure that they're picking sides. No one knows what to do about it.
Join the club.
"He's being hard on me too. And I feel like he's waiting for me to apologize. I just hate that he's so arrogant. Ugh!"
I mean, I can't apologize for wanting to kiss him, can I?
So you want him to apologize for not kissing you? My snarky subconscious asks.
Shut up, subconscious.
Erika and Peyton exchange worried glances. "But you have to talk to him. You two always go homecoming together, and it's two weeks away." Peyton says.
"And you're miserable without each other." Erika adds.
"Maybe he is but I'm fine. Perfect actually. Shit." I curse when I literally walk into someone's chest. Someone's really hard chest.
"Whoa. You okay?" A deep voice asks, prompting me to look up into the most beautiful brown eyes I've ever seen.
What? I said brown. Zack's eyes are dark blue.
"Um. Yeah. Sorry I bumped into you. I don't believe I've seen you before."
The hot African-American guy grins at me. "Of course you haven't. I just started last week."
"Oh, um. Welcome to Ridgeway."
"Okay. Thanks. So, see you around." He smiles one last time before walking away.
I spin around to glare at my friends. "You left me to bump into him on purpose."
Peyton grins while Erika shrugs. "We're not denying it. I mean, you said you were fine, right?"
I roll my eyes. "Whatever. Who is that guy?"
I didn't even find out his name.
"Um. He's Alex Davis. He's in a few of my classes. How have you not noticed him before?" Peyton asks and I shrug, walking in front of them to the lunch room.
"Probably because she only has eyes for her best friend." Erika mutters.
"Ugh. I never should've told you." I glare at her.
"Seriously though, I'd totally ship you and Zack. I mean, two bestfriends falling in love?
I love a good romance story." Peyton sighs dreamily.
Falling in love? No, I'm not in love with him. It's just a school girl crush.
"You and Tyler were literally bestfriends before you started dating."
"It's different with Zack and Aubrey. They're just so close. And they have this...connection. I don't know, I'm just talking crap."
"I'm right here guys, and I'm not..." I trail off at the sight that greets me. On Zack's lap is Audrey Lopez, leader of the dance team. And of course we almost have to share the same name. I've never really liked her.
Hmm. Wonder why.
Oh, shut up.
"Oh, hey, Aubrey. You don't mind, do you?" She smirks, tilting her head. Until now, Zack has never paid any attention to her, and she's hot. Exactly his type.
"Mind what?" My brows furrow.
"Zack's taking me to homecoming." My eyes dart to him. His expression is passive. Classic Zack. I can't believe this.
"Oh?" I manage to squeak out. I hear someone's sharp intake of breath. Erika, maybe.
"Yeah. I mean, everyone knows you two are fighting, so I thought, 'why not take him?' So I asked him and he said sure."
"But...we always go together." I say. Ugh! I sound so pathetic right now. Why did I even say that? Zack's expression softens for a fleeting second before he's back to being cold. He doesn't say anything.
"Aw. You don't have to cry, Aubrey. You've probably already realised that the world doesn't revolve around you." Audrey pouts mockingly. Bitch.
"Okay, I think it's time for you to leave, Audrey." Nick says, his jaw ticking.
"Zack hasn't said so." Audrey snarks.
"Get out." He snaps with his signature deadly look and Audrey scrambles out of Zack's lap, giving me one last glare.
"Dude, seriously? Why would you let that bitch insult your best friend?"
Zack shrugs. "I'm not in control of her mouth."
Why would he do this? I mean, I know he's mad, but he doesn't have to rub in my face the fact that we can't ever be together.
"You okay, Aubrey?" Tyler asks.
I surprise everyone by grinning widely.
"I'm fine, guys. Seriously, it's our last homecoming. I really don't care who Zack goes with."
Liar.
____________
"Wanna tell me what's been going on between you and Zack?" Mom asks. "You've been so closed off lately."
I shrug, grabbing a bag of chips from the cupboard. "We're just not talking."
She purses her lips, patting the stool beside her. "Come sit." I do as she says, opening the bag.
"Tell me what happened."
"I don't want to bore you with details. Besides, you have work."
"I still have an hour. Come on."
I sigh, burying my head in my hands. "So, you remember that I told you I have feelings for Zack? Well, I kinda made it obvious to him and..."
"He doesn't..." She says softly, "Oh, honey, I'm sorry."
"That's not all. I mean, I was fine with it, and I was ready to admit that I was overreacting and then he's just being so...so cold. He's just unapproachable right now." I don't tell her about the homecoming bit because, well, because I don't want to. "I miss him." I add quietly.
She cringes. "This is kind of my fault, huh."
"No, it's not."
"Oh, but it is. I asked you to be upfront about your feelings and look what happened."
I sigh. "Honestly, mom. It's not your fault. Everything just happened so fast. But it's okay, I guess." Right then, my phone buzzes in my hand.
Zack❤️:
Gym in twenty?
I don't reply, because I don't know if I want to see him right now. But I really want to get past this, whatever it is.
"Is that him?"
"Yeah. He wants me to meet him. Do you think I should go?"
"It should be your choice, honey."
I bite my lip thoughtfully. I think we really need to talk.
" I should go." I tell her, standing up from the stool, my chips long forgotten.
"I probably won't be home when you return, so goodnight. Be safe, baby."
I kiss her cheek. "I will. Love you, mom."
Zack isn't alone in the basketball court when I get there. He has the ball in his hand and is flirting with two girls. I roll my eyes. Go figure. He says something that elicits giggles from the girls, and he looks over them to meet my eyes, his cocky grin slowly dwindling.
He mutters something to the girls, making them start to exit the court, shooting me glares on the way out. He walks towards me, ball in hand.
"I wasn't sure you'd come." He gives me a tight smile.
"Me neither." I mutter.
Zack furrows his brows, frowning, then lifts his hand to tuck away stray hair strands behind my ear. "You look terrible." He says, pressing the ball into my hands, and walks backwards away from me.
"Gee thanks." I roll my eyes. "Girls love hearing that. And you don't look any better."
Liar. He looks like a freaking god while you're like a bag of potatoes.
He ignores my statement. "Obviously we have a lot to talk about."
I bite my lip slightly, nodding, and his eyes linger on them for a fleeting second before he looks away.
He has to be attracted to me, even if it's just a little bit.
I snort. "I'm definitely not going first."
"Guess the ball has to decide." He says, shrugging.
"Fine. If I make this shot, you have to answer one question."
His lips pull up in a cocky grin. "You never learn, do you?"
"Shut up. I'm confident this time."
He quirks a brow. "Suit yourself. But when you miss, you have to answer one of my many, many, many questions."
"I won't miss."
"Never heard that one before." He snarks, rolling his eyes.
I throw the ball towards his head and he dodges it so effortlessly.
"Why are you being such a dick? I'm mad too, you know."
"That's a question." He crosses his arms. "You haven't made a shot yet."
I shoot him a glare and he acts unaffected, going to pick the ball up.
"Here." He bounces it over to me. "And try to aim for the net this time?"
I go to stand a few feet away from the net, raising the ball over my head, and throw the ball, this time with my eyes open.
I keep my eyes trained on the ball, shocked when it enters the net. It fucking went in!
I resist the urge to do a happy dance because this is not the right time. There's bigger fish to fry. I happy dance in my head though.
"I don't believe it." Zack is as shocked as I am. I turn to face him, crossing my arms and smirking.
"Told you I wouldn't miss. Hope you're ready to answer my question."
"That was a lucky shot. Don't get cocky." He says and I roll my eyes. "Whatever."
Zack turns away, muttering something under his breath.
"What?" I demand and his body begins to shake with laughter. When he looks over his shoulder at me, I realise that I just fell into one of his traps.
"Looks like you just asked your question." His lips pull up into a grin.
I gape at him, trying to find the right words. He tricked me! The dick head tricked me.
"Aubrey..." He starts when he takes notice of my expression.
"No, you dick! I've just about had it with your fucking games! You asked me to come here and I thought you really wanted to talk to me, but you keep finding new ways to make a fool of me, don't you?"
How did he even become my best friend again?
"You're overreacting." He snaps.
"No, I'm not!" I scream, my voice breaking. "Can't you see how messed up this is? How fucked up we are? You're hurting me, Zack. I thought we were supposed to be bestfriends."
"I'm not the one trying to fucking ruin our friendship! You are!" He barks at me, utterly making me shut up. Trying to ruin our friendship? Why would I want to do that?
"What?" My voice is barely a whisper.
He looks at me, pain in his eyes. "I know you, Aubrey. I know you even better than I know myself, and that day, I saw that look in your eyes, like you wanted me." He moves closer, fists clenched. "I've seen it a few times before, but I thought my eyes were just playing tricks on me. I don't want you to want me, Aubrey. I can't give you what you want. And I definitely do not want to lose our friendship over something so trivial."
Trivial? His voice softens. "You're my best friend. And I want you back as just that. I want the girl who...who sneaks toothpaste into my Oreos, and stomps my feet when I kiss her, and I definitely won't try to do that again." He chuckles softly. "I want you to see me as your best friend, nothing more than that."
Ouch. If this is what rejection feels like, I never want to tell anyone how I feel again.
I swallow past the bile that's climbing up my throat.
"That's not...I wasn't trying to ruin our friendship, Zack, I swear. I just thought...I mean, I can't help it..." I stutter and Zack pulls my head into his chest. I'm scared of losing him, but what if...
No. No buts. No whatifs. I have to get over it.
I want you to see me as your best friend. Nothing more than that.
"I'm sorry." I say into his chest.
"For what?"
I shrug. "For crushing on my best friend? I don't know..." I reply and he laughs lightly. I continue. "I'll get over it. I promise."
Yeah. Good luck with that. My evil subconscious snarks.