Pain....some say it results from a derangement of functions , disease or injury by violence or hurt.....
My pain is inexplicable.... it's like that feeling of suffering and distress and vulnerability all moulded in one.
I woke up to blinding lights. Everything was moving,I didn't know whether it was my vision or I was actually moving.
I felt sore all over.My whole body was screaming in pain. I looked up again,my eyes finally adjusting to the lights to see a lady with a white coat and a green ugly face mask.
She was saying something but I couldn't hear her at all.There was this loud ringing in my ears that I couldn't seem to shake off,so when dark spots started covering my vision I let it consume me.
Two weeks later****
That pain, it wouldn't leave me.I felt worn out.I felt like I ran a marathon without taking a break.I could feel everything move,I could even feel the bed under me.
But.... I could not open my eyes.
"Mom please let us not do this right now,she is clearly not well." a voice begged
"What do you mean? My granddaughter was violated and you expect me to sit still and watch as those wretched boys roam free. No, no way. After her trial we are all going back to Nigeria and that's final."another voice.
The speaker sounded angry. I wonder why?
My mind was all over the place. I couldn't understand why these two voices we're arguing. Does this have anything to do with me.
Voilated?........
Voilated. ......
Voilated!........
Voilated!? ........
Oh my God! I remember everything.
A loud scream tore out of my chest as I jerked awake. Immediately,the arguing stopped and two women were by my side.
One was trying to calm me while the older one was yelling for a nurse.
Images flooded my memory.Horrible and terrifying images. They were disgustingly lucid. What made me more scared was not the memories but the fact that the more the woman who was trying to calm me touched me. The more I felt revolted.
I was scared of my own mother.
I welcomed the darkness.....it seemed like it was the only thing in the world I could run to.
*****************************************
"Isrealla?".
"Isrealla can you hear me?" someone was calling out to me.
i slowly opened my eyes to find a female doctor standing a feet away from me. Next to her was my sobbing mother leaning against my father's huge frame . Followed by my grandparents whom I immediately recognized from their traditional attairs.
My grandmother looked impecible as always in her blue gele (hair tie) and lace wears .
My grandfather matched my grandmother equally with the exact blue lace.His facial expression was unreadable as always.
"Dear,if you can hear me please nod your head." For God's sake do I look like I am deaf to this woman. Why is she talking to me like am 5 years old.
"I can hear you loud and clear Doctor" I responded monotonously.
I heard my mother sigh faintly and my father whisper something incoherent to her.
I dreaded was was to come.
"Good, do u remember anything from the last few days".
Days!
Ive been here for days. How long have I been out of it?....
Was it that bad?....
" I don't remember anything. Well I remember most of it but not all." I didn't want to remember anything. I just wished it was possible.
"Well it looks like she's in good condition. The anesthesia we registered has worn out. So she'll feel some slight pain but it'll be alright. I will leave you guys to talk and clear the air a little". She spoke fluidly
"Mr and Mrs Jones " she greeted.
She tore her eyes away from them and gave me one final look as she exited the room.
My father let out a tired sigh as he turned towards me
"Isrealla?".
I grimaced.
" I don't want to talk about it dad . Please" I begged
He turned to my mother and gave her a look . She shrugged and moved to sit closer to me.
"Dear we need to know what really happened to you. The police need to get your side of the story so we can commence investigation" her eyes were pleading with me she looked dejected.
I felt sorry for her to be honest. She was just worried about me and I was giving her a hard time.
But I really didn't want to talk to anyone.
Not yet anyway.
I promised to tell them everything tomorrow and also give my statement to the police as long as they let me rest for the day.
I felt drained of any energy.
I just wanted to wallow in my pain for a while.
The doctor was right,I was starting to feel the pain all over again and the memories were horribly vivid.
The moment my family left the room,I cried myself to sleep.