Torture.... To some people it means to intentionally inflict pain on someone.
To some it means to experience agony.
Just standing here in this booth. I felt tortured.
I felt tortured, looking at the same men who caused me pain. The same men who destroyed my life without a batting an eyelash.
I just couldn't wait for everything to end so I could go home and curl up into a ball in my bed. I couldn't wait to get out of this town, this country,this place.....
The memories were just painful. They were so imprinted in my brain so much that I felt the need to rip my hair out.
This was my own personal torture.
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My trial was over. The boys who violated me as grandma would say pleaded guilty.
Good for them.
I felt nervous though. Because as they were been dragged out of the court premises, they each shared a look of regret and pity towards me.
Pity...that's all they could feel after what they did to me. How pleasant.
My mother noticed my discomfort. She then placed an arm on the small of my back rubbing small soothing circles. I instantly relaxed and leaned into her.
My father was my lawyer so he had to go sign a few papers before he joined us. Grandpa was with him as always.
So it was just my grandmother, my mother and I.
My mother led me towards the car were my grandmother waited patiently for us to arrive so we could head home .
Her faced brightened the moment she laid eyes on me. She was the one who helped me when the paparazzi bombarded me with pointless questions.
She threw insults at them in yoruba,hissed and led me Past them.
Even if I didn't know what the language meant,I did know she said horrible things. Just thinking about that brought a smile to my face.
Hers widened.
"Mo dear,I have not seen you smile like that in so long. Hope you are doing well?". She asked carefully. I chuckled lowly.
"I'm fine grandma".
Her shoulders slumped in relief as she pulled me into a bone crushing hug. I hugged her back,enjoying the feel of her plump arms around me.
"Let's go home it's getting late and am hungry already". My mom butt in.
"You're always hungry Temi,but you never add weight". My grandmother spoke her face twisting in disbelief as she looked my mom over.
My mom in return groaned in annoyance causing me to laugh.
"Let's just go"she huffed.
We all got into the car.
My mom drove,while grandma sat beside her. I sat idly by in the back seat,picking at the fabric on the hem my dress. I wanted to wear jeans but my mum said the doctor warned not to put pressure on the wound on my thighs,so I settled for a burgundy dress with long sleeves,the hem reaching below my knees. The fabric was itchy. I just can't wait to take it off.
The moment I got home I practically ran inside the house.
"Ahh ,Morenike kini?".
My grandmother exclaimed in yoruba laughing shortly. She probably thought I was mad.
I got into my room,closed the door behind me and threw the dress over my head, flinging it somewhere in my room.
I walked over to my closet,picking a black turtle neck and dark purple leggings and throwing them on. I sighed in relief as I plopped face first on my bed.
My room wasn't your normal typical teenage girl's bedroom. Well averagely.
My queen sized bed was perched in the middle of the room,grey and black sheets covering the mattress.
There was a grey rug right in the centre of the room,two black and grey bean bags on it.
My dresser was the first thing I woke up to every morning because it was right in front of my bed. I just had a few pictures and posters littering the walls.
One of me and Dad when we went to the beach for my 8 year old birthday. Another one of me and mom,dad and i when I was just a year old.
It looks like I won't be packing much anyway. I might need to pack a lot of loose clothes though. Heard Africa is pretty hot.
Not that I mind.
I rolled over on my back. As I stared at my ceiling. The days have gone by so fast. It's been three days since I tried committing suicide.
Three weeks since the incident . Yet the memory still feels fresh in my mind.
My phone suddenly rang almost making me almost fall from my bed in fright. I reached for it quickly pressing answer. My heart kept thudding loudly in my chest from adrenalin.
"Hello?".
There was a long pause before a very familiar voice replied.
" Hey Ella". Charliey....i haven't spoken to since you Know what.
" Oh hey charliey".I said nonchanlantly.
"How are you doing?". She asked slowly.
She sounded unsure of what to say.
" Am good, never better". I laughed quite bitterly.
" Am so sorry for everything Ella i.....".
I interrupted her Immediately.
" It's fine, I said am okay". I bit out. I didn't need her pity.
" No really I shouldn't have left alo....."
" I said am fine charliey just drop it" I interrupted her more harshly. My breath coming out in short pants. I didn't want to talk about it.
" Ok Ella". She sounded hurt. I hurt her feelings. She was just trying to care for me.
I sighed in frustration. I'm so stupid.
"I'm sorry charliey,I shouldn't have lashed out on you like that. On the contrary,I should be thanking you for saving my life. If you hadn't have found me. I don't think I will be alive right now." I spoke my voice breaking slightly.
"I perfectly understand how you feel Ella,I just want you to know that am here for you. No matter what." Her words sounded so sincere to I felt my heart squeeze.
" Thank you so much charliey. I really appreciate it ."
" It's ok,like I said I'm here for you."
I smiled to myself,whispering a quiet goodnight to her as I ended the call.