I woke up this morning before my alarm went off, but I couldn't ignore the tenting sheet or the visions of Kynlee floating through my brain. Maybe a little release will help me to concentrate more clearly at work? Trying to ignore my fascination with the beautiful brunette certainly hasn't worked. I'm willing to try something new.
I slid my hand down my abdomen to my hard male member and began to languidly stroke from base to tip with a slight twist as I neared the top. It felt so good, and I became impossibly harder, closer to the end I was racing toward.
My strokes became quicker as I rubbed the precum from the tip into my length, adding a slight lubrication and helping my hand move more easily. My hips began to join the motion, my breathing sped up, and I could feel my pulse pounding in my ears. I tightened my grip slightly as I stroked my sensitive bits down below and imagined it was Kynlee's mouth and hands working me over instead of my own. I knew it was coming, but I was still shocked by the intensity of the release when it hit. I couldn't help but moan, "oh Kynlee," as I felt the warmth hit my stomach. I laid there for a few minutes as my breathing and pulse returned to normal. I just finished while moaning her name....
I heard a "meow," and looked over to see Sammy staring at me through heavily lidded eyes. Oh great... I just gave my cat a show. So not what I intended. "I'm sorry Sammy. Please forgive me," I said in a gentle voice.
I sat up and stretched my arms in the air. Throwing the covers back the rest of the way, I climbed out of bed and into the shower. I don't usually shower in the morning, but today it was certainly a must. I make short work of cleaning up, drying off, and donning my work clothes. My body is craving my morning coffee, so I race to the kitchen and start the water heating to get my caffeine fix.
I feel Sammy rubbing on my legs and give her a handful of treats as I scratch under her chin. She purrs loudly as she chows down on her catnip treats. I wash my hands, place my coffee in a travel mug, and head in to the hospital to start my day.
As I've done every morning, I stopped first in Halian's room to see how he is doing. He is back
in the ICU after his surgery yesterday, but hopefully that'll change once we get the seizures sorted out. Physical therapy has put ambulation on hold until we restart the medications so as not to risk serious injury. They will be focusing on range of motion and exercises in bed for now.
As I entered, I was happy to see Hal was awake and seemed alert. "Good morning Hal. How are you feeling?" I asked with a smile.
Hal met my eyes but his affect remained flat as he answered, "okay."
"Do you remember who I am?"
Hal nodded slightly. I raised my eyebrows to prompt him, but he didn't say anything. "Can you say my name?"
"You're Uncle Wam," he replied in a matter of fact tone.
This change in Hal was really bothering me. I wanted my happy go lucky nephew back. Unfortunately I know all too well that may or may not happen. Head injuries and medications can cause changes in behavior and emotional response. Some changes are temporary and some are permanent. All I can do is try to fix the electrical issue in his brain, pray, and hope for the best.
"How did you sleep last night Hal?" I asked and watched him as he thought about his response.
"I guess okay. I'm still tired though."
I was used to seeing people with bandages on their heads, laying in hospital beds, and even having seizures with reports of changes in behavior and temperament. None of that prepares a person for seeing a loved one in this situation. Seeing my young nephew in this position was one of the most difficult things I've done as a doctor. This very situation is why they recommend you don't treat your own family. It's extremely difficult to put my personal emotions and biases aside and be the physician, the world renowned surgeon I trained to be.
Placing my hands in my pockets, I explained, "the medicine we gave you yesterday to help you sleep can take several days to leave your system. Until then, you'll probably be more tired than usual." Hal just watched me with that blank look on his face that made me unsure if he was comprehending what I was saying or not. The only way to know for sure what to talk to him and get him to talk to me. "Are you having any pain or discomfort anywhere Hal?"
Hal's brown eyes looked even darker than usual against the white dressings on his head. His eyes drifted up to the ceiling briefly and then down again to meet my gaze. "Ummm, I'm not sure. My head hurts sometimes....and umm my tummy feels a little sick."
"Okay bud. Thanks for telling me. I can give you some Tylenol for the headache and it shouldn't upset your tummy. Okay," I offer in an attempt to make him more comfortable. Hal nods slightly. "I want you to tell the nurses when you have pain or feel sick okay Hal? If you tell us, we can try to help you. If we don't know, we can't fix it."
"Okay Uncle Wam, I'll try."
"That's all I ask buddy." I turned around to the nurse at the mobile computer, "Nurse Yin, can you please get Hal some Tylenol?"
"Of course Doctor Teton. What strength and form would you like ordered," she asked as she typed on the computer.
"Hal, can you swallow pills, or would you prefer liquid medicine?"
Hal thought briefly before answering, "Mommy usually gives me Kara's when I need it, and I drink it."
"Okay," I smile at Hal but turn toward Nurse Yin and order, "liquid acetaminophen about 480-500mg based on his size, as needed by mouth for pain or fever up to every 4 hours. Do not exceed 2500mg in 24 hours."
"I sent a request to the pharmacy doctor. As soon as you enter the order and it arrives, I'll give it," Nurse Yin reminds me. At times we doctors have been known to get caught up in other things and forget to enter orders. This was her not so subtle but nice way of reminding me.
"Hear that Hal? I need to go put in the order so they can send it up for you. Anything else you need to talk to me about buddy?"
"Uncle Wam, will my mom be okay? I've only seen her once since our car crashed," Hal was looking down at the bed and biting his lip. Obviously he was worried about his mom, and it made me wonder if anyone had told him his mom was going to be okay? I sat down on the bed next to him, grabbed his hand in mine, and waited for him to look up and meet my eyes. Wanda was the kid's primary caretaker, so I'm sure he missed her.
Finally Halian looked up, so I explained, "your mom broke her arm and her leg, but in time, she will be okay. I promise you Hal, if she could be here with you, she would be here every day. Wanda...your mom, loves you very much, but she has to heal too. She can't walk or drive right now. That's why she hasn't been here."
Hal's shoulders relaxed slightly and he rested his head back on the bed. The obvious decrease in his level of stress, made me wonder just how worried he was about Wanda. "They told you that Kara is okay right? Luckily she was in her car seat and didn't get hurt like you and Mommy. I heard," I leaned in and talked softly, like I was telling him a secret, "that the police took the driver's license of the man who hit your car. So he won't ever do this to anyone ever again."
Hal met my eyes and gave a solemn nod. I patted his leg under the white hospital blanket and sheet before standing up from the bed. "I'll stop back this afternoon before I leave for the day. You try to rest bud."
"Bye Uncle Wam," Hal said and allowed his eyelids to close. Oh how I love this kid. No matter what the outcome, I'll do my best to be there for him. I entered the orders for Tylenol for pain or fever and meclizine for nausea or vomiting.
I examined my other surgical patient from yesterday and went to my office briefly to catch up on paperwork. I worked hard for 10-15 minutes and then lost my focus.
Anytime there is a lull in the action, my mind becomes consumed with Kynlee. I may have only known her a little over two weeks, but it's hard to imagine my life now without her. What is wrong with me? I've survived since high school by avoiding romantic relationships, being a workaholic, and allowing my family to be my only source of love and affection. Now I'm preoccupied with her beauty, her smile, her laugh, and her sharp wit. Her tears and sorrow literally make my chest ache.
I had hoped that by 'giving myself a hand' this
morning, it would relinquish her from my mind for the day. Unfortunately I was finding out now that wasn't the case. In fact, if I didn't get this issue under control soon, I may prove or disprove the old wives tale that 'too much can give you hairy palms'. Oh Lord, I'm trying to be the good guy here, please give me strength!