So he doesn't want to rush things? It's both a relief and a disappointment. Wam's touch brings my body to life, and I've no doubt he could play me like a fiddle. Wam is so attentive and seems to adjust based on my responses. I couldn't ask for a better man to share my first time with.
I use the facilities, wash my hands, and examine myself in the mirror. I'm trying to figure out what Wam sees in me. He called me 'beautiful', but what makes him think that? He likes my long, thick hair. The little time we have been physical, he seems to gravitate to my chest. Is Wam a 'breast man'? Hopefully time will tell.
My dark brown eyes with large, dilated pupils stare back at me. I'm not ugly, but I'm certainly no Kelly Adams. Of course Wam said he isn't attracted to her, so maybe that's a good thing? I decide I've stayed away long enough and cannot hide out in the bathroom all night.
Upon walking back in the living room, I see Wam on the couch holding a large bowl with two spoons. "Whatcha got there?" I ask in a teasing manner.
"I made us a banana split to share. I hope you like them," I ask hopefully.
I couldn't help but smile at the sweet gesture. Good way to break the tension and shift gears Wam. "Oh yes. There are few foods I don't like." As I got closer I could see the bowl was heaping with ice cream, whipped topping, what appeared to be caramel and chocolate sauce, and a cherry on top. The bananas must be on the bottom. I again sat next to him on the couch and he turned the bowl so I had a spoon handle to grab. "Wow, that's quite a bowlful," I laughed.
"Yes. Yes it is. Now you know why I need your help," wam teased with a smile.
Wam dished up a bite and offered it to me. What a romantic gesture. I took the bite and was amazed at how good it was. "Mmmm, I'm sold. You don't have to ask me twice." I picked up the second spoon and began eating on my own. Between bites we would ask each other questions. I wanted to know more about Wam and his family. "So what made you specialize as a neurosurgeon?"
I swear Wam's permanent tan went pale at hearing my question. He took a deep breath and set his spoon down. I didn't understand why he looked so shaken. Surely he has been asked this question before. I took the bowl and set it on the coffee table before turning to Wam, taking his hand in mine, and retracting my question, "if it's too hard for you Wam, it's okay. We can talk about something else."
He cleared his throat, "umm no. I'll tell you, you just caught me off guard. It's kind of a long story, but I'll try to tell you the short version, okay?" I simply nod, not wanting to discourage him from telling me. Wam draws our intertwined hands over to his thigh, takes a deep breath, and begins to explain, "her name was Winona. We grew up on the reservation together and fell in love in high school. The summer after we graduated high school, we went to a swimming hole not too far away with a bunch of friends. We were swimming, a few had been drinking and smoking a bit and started playing Truth or Dare." Wam took another deep breath and had a far off look on his face like he was remembering, maybe reliving the experience as he tells me. "As time went on, the dares got more outrageous. Several times people were dared to jump off the overhanging bluff into the water below without incident. A common activity for the locals every summer. Someone dared Winona not just to jump, but to do a flip in the air. She was fine until she flipped. She was too close to the bluff and hit her head on the way down. Hitting the bluff threw off her trajectory and she landed in shallow water and broke her spine as well as sustaining a severe concussion."
Wam was stroking and playing with my hand with both of his now, like I was a comfort item. A deep breath and he finished, "someone called 911 and I did CPR, but... she never regained consciousness. I was already planning to be a doctor, but that situation of being so helpless...I couldn't save her. Well, I decided I was going to become the best neurologist and surgeon possible so I could help spare others the pain I felt with her passing."
Wam still hadn't looked at me, but he appeared devastated. "I'm sorry I asked such a hard question, but thank you for telling me. I'm sorry for your loss Wam." At that he nodded and gave a sad smile. I placed my free hand on top of our joined ones, "I have no doubt Winona would be proud of the man you've become."
A single tear escaped from Wam's eye before he could catch it and he whispered, "thank you Lee. That means a lot to me."
I grabbed up the bowl of ice cream, dished up a bite and fed it to Wam. "We better eat this before it melts since you went out of your way to make it." I winked at Wam and fed him another bite before he picked up his spoon. No wonder Wam was so passionate about his work.
The rest of our discussion was much lighter and by the end of the evening, we were both smiling and laughing. I find it ironic Wam thinks I'm the resilient one. I was in aww he would consider another relationship after losing the love of his life. "So how many relationships have you had Wam?"
Wam looked at me surprised before he clarified, "you want relationships or partners? That is two different things."
"Wait, I thought you said this wasn't about physical intimacy and you wanted a friend and partner?" I asked in confusion.
Wam laughed before answering, "now, with you that's what I want to explore. I have not seriously dated anyone since I lost Winona. You are the first woman I've really been interested in. I've slept with women, but it wasn't a relationship." He met my eyes before continuing, "I wasn't kidding when I said you're special Lee."
Wow, the weight of his statement now hit me full force. I wasn't comprehending before how serious he was. I now understand he really meant what he said. Wam wants a relationship with me and not just a physical release. My smile is so big, it almost hurts my face. Wam looks at me and asks, "what's with the big smile?"
Slightly embarrassed, I do my best to describe to him how I'm feeling, "I haven't had the best experience with guys. Kedron always told me guys will say and do anything to get in your pants. I'm just happy that isn't all you want from me. I guess I didn't understand until now just how different you are from other men. You, Wam, are a breath of fresh air. I feel so grateful to have met you." I lean over and kiss him on the cheek.
Wam puts his index finger up and taps his lips, "I think I need one here too," he says with a flirty smile. So I do just what he requested and kiss him with all the passion coursing through my body. Wow can this man kiss!
Wam's phone rings, interrupting our kiss. He picks it up, 'hospital' is flashing on the screen, he pushes the green button on the touch screen and says, "Dr. Teton."