I wanted so badly to fix things for Kynlee. Unfortunately, the one thing she wanted most, for Kedron to be okay, I could not do. It may be kinder for him if he doesn't wake up, but that of course would be soul crushing for Kynlee. I'd do almost anything to take away her pain.
It amazes me that in her time of need, she still asks about my family. She remembered Wanda and Hal's names and attempted to comfort me when I told her about Hal. In her current circumstances, Kynlee wanted to offer me comfort. That gesture only made me like her more. If I had run across someone like Kynlee since I lost Winona, I may have been married with kids by now. Woah! Where did that thought come from?
I finished my bedtime routine and climbed into bed with boxers on. I didn't dare sleep nude with a nonfamilial female in the house. It felt strange to have boxers on, but it was the least I could do.
I tossed and turned for over an hour before getting up. I put on jogging pants, a tee shirt, and made my way up to my office. As I started down the hall on the second floor, I heard noise coming from the guest bedroom. I'd have thought Kynlee would be asleep, but it sounded like she was crying. It took everything I had not to open the door and go hold her. I'm doing my best to not take advantage of her, and laying in her bed would certainly cross a line.
I stood in front of the closed wooden door with one hand and my forehead resting against it. Hearing Kynlee sobbing, was enough to make my chest ache. I yearned to take her in my arms, hold her, and make her forget all the bad things in her life. I've never been so drawn to someone. I've never wanted to give someone solace so badly. Every instinct I had was screaming for me to go to her. As I reached my hand for the handle, it became quiet. I pulled back and continued to listen, but it remained quiet.
I took a deep breath and forced myself to go to my home office. It hit me that we likely would need help with packing and carrying Kynlee and Kedron's belongings on Sunday. I began to type up an email to get a couple young, healthy, teenage boys from the reservation that wanted to earn some money and were free on Sunday. Hopefully Kynlee wouldn't be upset, but I had to head back to Red Wing Sunday. This way, they can bring the huge enclosed truck and help her load and unload even after I leave. Sometimes it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. This was one of those times.
I spent about an hour sorting emails before I decided to try to sleep again. I locked up the office and started down the hallway. Without conscious thought, I stopped by the guest room door and listened. It still appeared silent, so I forced myself to pad quietly back down the steps to my bedroom. I briefly used the restroom before shedding my pants and tee shirt and climbing back in bed.
No sooner had I closed my eyes that someone was knocking on my bedroom door. I got up to answer it as I wiped the sleep from my eyes. There stood Kynlee bouncing on her toes with a huge smile on her face. "Wam, he's awake! I have to go to the hospital. Do you wanna come?"
In my half asleep state, I wasn't comprehending what she was saying. "Ummm, who is awake?"
"Kedron! Kedron is awake. I have to go," she exclaimed as she ran back up the steps.
I just stood there watching her until it finally dawned on me she was going to the hospital and I was in my boxers. I pulled on some decent clothes and went to the kitchen to make coffee. While the coffee brewed, I slipped on my shoes and coat and went to make a second cup. With both in travel mugs, I handed one to Kynlee as she came flying back down the steps. "Thank you Wam. You're so thoughtful," she said as she went up on her tip toes and kissed my cheek. Then instead of backing away, she laughed and ran her hand through my hair, "haha. There, that looks better. You had a bed head Doctor Teton."
I couldn't help but smile in response, "well thank goodness you fixed it then."
Just then my phone started to ring and Nurse Yin informed me, "you said you wanted to be informed, Kedron Knutson has woken up."
"Really? That's wonderful news Nurse Yin. I'll be there shortly to check him out. Who is the hospitalist on tonight?"
"Dr. Armani is here Dr. Teton. He is examining Kedron as we speak."
"That's wonderful! Please ask Dr. Armani to stay until I arrive. I'll have a few questions. Thank you Nurse Yin."
"My pleasure Dr. Teton."
I hung up the phone and Kynlee and I jumped into my SUV to go to the hospital. I felt such relief, just seeing Kynlee smiling and happy. Sadly, I was afraid when the reality of the situation hit, the happiness may fade. Now though, we could consider surgical procedures and rehabilitation to try to help Kedron regain as much feeling and use of his body as possible. I was concerned how Kedron, a young, virile male, would take the news of the severity of his injuries. Fractures of the atlas and axis with spinal cord injury, was a rather ominous diagnosis. The outcome was not often positive. Life expectancy was seriously decreased simply due to all the complications that can arise. Kedron has already had some serious complications, so time will tell.
I've learned to bide my time as my patients recover, but then I'm not the one who is inconvenienced. The most frustrating part for my patients is usually the wait. We can do many things, but we cannot make the human body heal more quickly without negative consequences. People tend to look at the positive effects, but every medication and treatment option can also have serious negative effects if not done correctly and monitored appropriately.
I walk a fine line when discussing long term outlooks with my patients and families. I don't want to give them false hope, but if the prognosis is too grim, they give up and don't put in the time and effort needed to reach maximum functioning. It was to both their benefit and mine to have them eager to follow treatment plans. In all honesty, we have made major progress in the area of spinal cord injuries in the last ten years. It's a huge area of study because so many famous people, athletes, actors, philanthropists, have been injured. So we are fortunate to have access to the world's largest data base on spinal cord injuries, treatments, and outcomes. It's the largest study to date.
It startled me when Kynlee touched my hand on the center console. "Penny for your thoughts Wam."
"Oh, I think I'm still half asleep. Sorry," I explain as I pick up my mug and take a long drink to try to incite my neurons to fire. The doctor in me wanted to make sure Kynlee had a realistic idea of what she'd be walking into. The man in me that was drawn to her, was just relieved to see her spirits lifted and didn't want to do anything to change that.
"It's just like Kedron to wake up at 1am and make everyone get up and come see him." Kynlee giggled after she finished speaking.
I saw her turn toward me and glanced at her before turning my eyes back to the road. It may have been the lighting inside the cabin of my SUV, but I'd swear her face was glowing. She wore a huge smile, her eyes were shining, and voice and affect were animated.
"Ya know," Kynlee said, "Kedron has always had a bit of a flare for the dramatic. Just ask any guy I attempted to date in my teens years. He chased them all away with threats of one form or another."
"Sounds like a typical big brother to me," I said with a smile of my own. "I stepped in a few times when my sisters made bad choices. Of course that's our secret though, because I don't believe they are aware."
"Wam, you didn't!" She exclaimed.
"Uh.. yeah I did. They are family. I'd do damn near anything for those I care about." As I glanced back at Kynlee, she was watching me. "What?" I finally asked as she studied me silently.
"I don't know.." she looked out the windshield as if suddenly shy. I sat and waited for her to answer in her own time, not rushing her. Kynlee began to fidget with her cup in her hands, like she was nervous and trying to decide how to answer. Finally I heard her take a deep breath and say in a much quieter voice, "I'm just not sure what I did to get you to care about me. Regardless, I'm so grateful for your help Wam. I have no idea what I'd do without you."
I put my right hand on her left and gave it a gentle squeeze before moving mine back to the steering wheel. "I'm honestly not sure either Kynlee. Something about you and your situation has drawn me in. No one should have to fight their circumstances alone. I care more than you know, and I want to be there to help you and Kedron, if you'll let me?"
Kynlee gave me a nod, wiped one lone tear away, and flashed me a weak smile. "I'd like that Wam. Thank you."
"Hey, enough of this serious stuff now. We need to go see your brother," I said as I parked and shut off the engine of the SUV. Kynlee took a deep, cleansing breath, nodded again, and we both got out of the SUV to enter the hospital. Now that we have arrived, Kynlee seemed more nervous than excited. I said a silent prayer that she would be strong enough to see her brother through the long recovery that was coming. I then vowed I would be there as much as possible to help out.