(Better Than Me - Hinder)
I am looking at the crucified meaning of a word.
Deep memories flow from their letters... I see.
But what good to see after you can't feel?
The dreadful lake flows...
Tonight, you and they are at the knees of the word.
I'm looking at the arrangement of the meaningless letters of a word.
Painful affections can be felt from their utterance... I feel it.
But what good is feeling after not living?
It counts the longing moon rose...
Tonight, I have them and me on the hands of the word.
I am looking at the death of a word after losing its memory.
Tears speak, right from their deep graves... I hear.
But what good is it to hear after you don't understand?
The color day of the said insults is burning...
Tonight, he and we exist in front of the eyes of the word.
This is the graveyard of words that have lost their memory.
What does it do to say? What good is it to cry after he doesn't love you?
What good is it to die after he doesn't wipe your tears?
This is the graveyard of the forgotten words.
And we are there.
This time, they aren't.
*
When I opened my eyes again, afraid of the nightmares I always saw, inside the large room, I saw Pars cluttering up the drawers. When I looked at the other side of the bed and saw that everything was tidy, I rubbed my eyes. Hasn't he ever slept?
I swallowed hard as he came over and looked at the various knives he had laid out on the bed. What was going on here?
"What are you going to do with all these knives?" I said as I leaned back. He had begun to shine his knives without keeping up appearences, and he had carefully placed them all, one by one, in the compartments inside his leather jacket.
"I will kill someone," he said carelessly. After throwing back the strand of hair that had fallen on his forehead, our eyes converged and he blinked at an unexpected moment.
"What was that now?"
"What was what?"
"Blinking... What are you trying to imply?" I was straightened.
"Nothing," he said, scoffing. When he suddenly got serious, straightened his leather jacket, he held out his hand to me and waited. "It is time to go on your first mission."
"What?" I said, pushing his hand in the air. "I'm not your pet." As I got up and walked, he grabbed my shoulder, stopped me, and put my head on his chest. His chin was resting on my head.
"I. Said. We're. Going. Right. Now."
As my mind went cloudy and my subconscious told me to do what he said, I turned away, left his body, and nodded in approval. But no matter how much I did - or rather forcefully - part of me was conscious and wanted to run away from here. "Do not do this to me." When I whispered, he raised my chin with his hand, stroked my cheek, and smiled faintly.
"If I don't do that, no shit will change in this country, and you are a tool for me on the road to my goals. And you will stay that way until I reach my goal."
When he lowered his hand, he had rushed past me, and I was beginning to follow him as if I was a magnet attracted to him. Freedom was too far to see.
Everyone kept silent when we left the two-story house and met the people in front of the door. Time and place were not important. Pars was ahead and we were following him with the others, including me. After walking quietly with his group in the garden of the headquarters, as Pars says, we arrived in front of the large metal exit door. The moment the guards saw Pars, they instantly opened the metal door, and when we went through the door, we were in the dark and deserted streets of Zehera.
Zehera did not have a very large population, and most of the time, you would not meet any people on a lot of streets. I could never understand the reason for this, and I didn't think I would. What was happening in this world?
I had just noticed that everyone was stopping as the thoughts were spinning in my mind. I frowned when I realized where we came. We came to the entrance of a large tubular tunnel.
"Go ahead," Pars said as he nodded to me. I swallowed. Who knows what was there...
When I took my last steps and entered from the entrance, I looked back for the last time and saw the body of Pars, who did not even look at me going. He didn't even care. I'm sure he wouldn't even bury me if I died. As he said... I was just a tool.
The minutes were chasing each other as I walked alone through the tubular tunnel. The walls of the tunnel were gray and there were cracks in the walls. My every step echoed in the tunnel with a hoarse voice. After a long walk, I stopped nervously because of the noise I heard from the forward, and when I saw the masked people who were 5-6 people, I stepped back. They all had guns big and small, and they kept coming closer to me as I went backward. Just when I was using my powers and taking their weapons, the masked person in the middle acted faster than me and pulled the trigger. No, it didn't matter if that person was faster than me because it was really fast. A normal being could never have such an enhanced speed.
As the gunfire echoed in the tunnel, I fell to the ground with the pain I felt in my stomach and tried to breathe desperately, but it was very painful.
When the masked people disappeared without me even realizing it, the moment I heard Pars's voice from behind, I leaned against the wall of the tunnel and closed my eyes. Blood flowed from my stomach.
When Pars's body appeared in the tunnel, I turned my head and covered my face with my hair, and I bowed my face so that he wouldn't see me crying. "Fuck!" he said when he came to me and knelt. He kept yelling as he pressed a piece of his T-shirt to the wound in my stomach. "What the fuck are you doing? Have you been beaten by a few trifling people? You're trying my patience now!" When he stopped yelling, it was as if my heart was cut in half.
You're breaking my heart a lot. Don't... I can't stand up to it.
When the silence enveloped me, I thought he was gone, so I turned my head and caused the strand of hair on my face to fall to the side. His green eyes grew in shock when he saw my wet eyes, and he palmed my face with both of his hands. "Don't cry." It wasn't working. He could not make me do what he said. "I said don't cry!" I was crying. I was crying more. I feel like I'm going to die.