Chapter 02 – Certain Event in April First
Sakura caught her breath and she stood there, staring at him. He did not move either, he gazed at her eyes all the same. The fire crackled.
"Pfff—haha!" The boy cracked a laugh. He raised his hand after releasing the Sakura's own and bowed his head down. "I'm sorry. That was a joke."
"…Eh?"
That was all she could make out.
[But he said earlier that he would burn me, a joke? …Eh…eh?]
She was still flustered with the sudden shift of the situation. But she also felt relieved. He smiled at her. A genuine one without any ill intention. Perhaps a bit apologetic?
"Sorry about that, really. I looked at my phone and saw the date. It is yet to be midnight."
"…What do you mean…?" The girl recalled a certain event in happened in April first. "April's…fool?"
"Yeah, that's right."
She stared at him, quite shocked. One, that she was fooled. Two, because he had the guts to tell that kind of joke to someone he just met. [Does he not care about first impressions or something? Since…he was quite creepy earlier…]
Sakura thought that it also felt real.
"...." She could not find the right words to say, nor how should she react. Just dumbfounded.
It seemed that he could not get himself to speak too so he put his cigarette in his mouth instead. Taking a few puffs of smoke before he hurried discarded the stick as if remembering something.
"Right. I'm Kitahara Sho. I've been living here until four years prior and am visiting my hometown."
"…I'm Kawada Sakura, I like books and games."
The conversation was cut off again. It mattered not. Her thoughts had become more or less ordered. She took a breath; she had calmed down. It was not as if he knew about her. She thought that it would be best to leave now.
"I'm sorry when we just got to know each other but I would be going soon, I was on my way home when I came here, actually."
Sho turned his face to the campfire. The fire's no more but some of the embers were still glowing. She could barely make out his face now. "Yeah, I'll be going too later. Be careful on your way home."
She retreated from that place slowly, walking away as if natural. She saw the boy walk to the campfire turning his back on her. At that same moment, Sakura hastened her pace. She had practically skipped through the steps and jogged the rest of the distance. She unlocked the front door, closed it, and raced to her room. Only then she had noticed that she was breathing heavily.
The girl entered the bathroom and took a shower, hoping to clear her thoughts. She wished all her bad premonition would be washed away in the drain, but the lingering feeling remained. She laid down her bed and forced herself to sleep.
Morning came.
She was walking warily as she proceeded onwards. Watching her surroundings, she approached the cherry blossom near the river. She could see its pretty, pinkish flowers in the branch swaying with the breeze. For some safety measures, she made sure to wear jeans.
There were no people nearby. It was still early and there was mist like it did yesterday. It would take some time before people would start appearing to work on the fields. She touched the tree trunk and then examined the creek below. She leaned her body forward, carefully checking the bank. The steps down were mostly visible except a part where a big rock was placed.
Walking over, she tensed up a bit. She looked behind the rock, and then she sighed. That person wasn't here.
The girl smiled, looked upward, and fixed her bangs so that it wouldn't obstruct her vision. She walked back to the tree. Now she could enjoy her time under the shade…
"Never expected to see you here again, Kawada-san."
"Ah—eh!" She frantically turned to her side. It was the young man from yesterday, the last person she wanted to see right now. She took a step back.
Sakura forgot. She forgot that behind her was a slope.
She lost her footing and as she was about to fall down, she stretched her hand to the tree trunk—a hand grabbed hers and pulled her forward into the level ground. She looked down—kept looking down. She could see his hand releasing her hand—the same one he grabbed last night.
Slowly, the girl faced upward, looking at his face. He spoke, "That was close."
"…Y-yeah. Thank you." Although she's expressing her thanks like this, she was still careful around him.
"No, it's okay. It was my fault for startling you as well," Sho said. "The truth is I'm about on my way to the train stop."
"Are you…going home?"
"Yeah, but I'll be…" He stopped. He looked at Sakura with concern. "Uh, why do you look relieved?"
"Wha!—I am? Gosh." Sakura didn't realize that she was making a subtle smile. It seemed that her feelings showed on her face when she heard the good news. She cleared her throat. "I-I see."
Sho continued, a little uncertain. "…So anyway, I have to tell you something before I go."
"W-what is it?" She was still quite nervous but it was fair to assume that he didn't know about her. And whatever he was going to say now, he would leave soon after all.
"Do you always go out at night like you did yesterday?"
"Sometimes, when I feel like it. What about it?"
"Just asking. I will be back here in the afternoon, and around the same time yesterday, I'll burn something again in the mountain. So the thing is if you feel like going there again tonight, can you bring something nice to burn as well?"
She caught her breath for a moment.
"…S-sure?"
Sho smiled at her response. On contrary, she felt worse. She felt stupid for being relieved at her own misunderstanding. He'll leave but he'll be back…
"That's all. See you around."
He waved his hand before walking away through the morning mist.
All Sakura could do was watch his back…
~ . ~ . ~ . . . ~ . ~ . ~
[The smoke entered my mouth. It was hot. I expelled them right away and coughed several times. I looked around. To my right. To my left. I walked there.]
Sakura woke up. Her eyes were wide open in shock as if she had seen something terrifying.
She was breathing heavily, and she was sweating. If not for this season's chilly weather, her clothes might have been already sticking to her skin. It felt like in these two days, she had more cases of irregular breathing.
She reached for her phone placed on her bedside table. The time was just past midnight.
Her thoughts went into the invitation she received earlier. She didn't want to go. Right now, the boy was probably burning things in that clearing. She didn't want to see him again.
Right. She definitely felt that way. Sakura pulled her blanket over and tried to sleep. However, it was no use, she had tried closing her eyes for 15 minutes but she could not feel sleepy at all. She tried looking for a comfortable position, also to no avail.
She opened her eyes again to look at the phone. It illuminated her face, and in it, the time showed "00: 19." She stared at it for several moments and then decided to rise from her bed.
She wore a jacket she took from her closet, combed her hair, took the keys, and headed out once again.
Her pajamas consisted of a bottom-up top and long loose pants. With the jacket on, she was able to fend off the cold. Sakura walked at a slow pace. This morning—yesterday morning, there was news that there was another female victim in the next town, making it two. Both were killed after being raped and the criminal is still on the loose.
But it didn't concern her. That was over there, not here. If she was scared of some news in other towns, she wouldn't have gone out last night. But maybe if she did, she wouldn't have to meet Sho.
If she had something to worry about, it would be that boy.
Sakura walked through the long residential area and ascended to the stairs leading up in the hill. She knew it was a bad idea to meet him again. She knew. Likewise, she knew that she would not be able to sleep even if she tried. Most of all, she felt like she had to go. Is it out of curiosity again?
Orange light illuminates the trees, the light was growing stronger the closer she approached. In the clearing, a single figure stood there before the fire greater than she had seen yesterday. He was holding a long stick. He then plunged the rod to the heap and then turned over a part of the burning heap.
She sucked a great amount of air, and she didn't speak a word.
"...."
The fire cast a bright light, turning the figure into a mere silhouette. It danced, it leaped and crackled. The orange, the red, and yellow. All of them were vivid, violently so. The boy standing there, Sho continued flipping the fuel, every time he did, a new side would burn. And the fire would briefly grow stronger.
The airborne embers were glowing and floating in the darkness around Sho until they gradually disappeared.
Sakura watched the scene silently. Her thoughts were blank, and her eyes were focused on one thing: the fire.
…She could not help but admire it and preserve the image in her memory. Without knowing, she reached out the phone in her pocket and directed its camera to the flame. She started recording, all the while she stared at the fire.
Not long after, the young man turned around set dropped down the rod he was using on the ground. This made Sakura become aware that she was recording with her phone, and she immediately clicked stop and hid it into her pocket. Sho looked in the direction where he left his bag, and as he was about to walk, his eyes caught Sakura.
He seemed to be surprised.
Sakura, on the other hand, was relieved.
"…You came, Kawada-san," Sho said. "I didn't think you would, so I started to burn on my own."
"…No, it's okay."
[In the first place, we didn't have an agreement where we would burn things together, did we?] Such thoughts were inside her head.
"I see… You didn't bring anything to burn?"
"Ah." Sakura realized that she was supposed to bring something. That was how their talk went. But at that time, and even before she went to sleep, she had no plan to visit this place. Bringing something was out of the question, she didn't even spare time to think of what to bring after all. "…I forgot them at home…"
"That's too bad. Uh, since you are here now, why don't you accompany me for a while?"
"…Sure."
"Thanks," Sho said as he went to his bag nearby and took out several things. Among them, she could see something that looked like a photo album.
"What are those?" she asked.
"These? Something that would be good to burn."
Sakura approached him and looked over at the pile of things he carried. Letters in envelop, notebook, and the mentioned photo album. Sho threw a letter in the fire.
"…You aren't going to ask?"
Sakura was surprised by that question. She did consider asking but she felt that she didn't have the right to ask someone who was just an acquaintance about personal matters, or why would he burn them.
"Can I?"
"If you want to."
"Then… Why did you burn that letter?"
He smiled again. Sakura thought for a second that it carried self-derision.
"It's what you would call a love letter from some girls, I guess."
"Wha… That's downright rude! What of the feelings of those girls who tried their best to…!?" Sakura was shocked that she had spoken without thinking. The effort to make a love letter, the feeling of a girl, the embarrassment that comes when delivering it to the person of interest, and the anxiety that follows for that person's reply—Sakura knew them. She cleared her throat. "…Did you, hate them?"
"No. It's just that…" Sho looked at the letters still in his hand and threw them all together. "These shouldn't exist. Their feelings for me, something that I could not return, shouldn't have existed."
"...."
The fire swayed with a brief crackle.
Sakura felt a little conflicted seeing the love letters. They were meant to deliver one's feeling, not to be burned. She could not understand him, even if she tried to, right now she wouldn't fully understand him. It felt like the boy had spoken with no one but himself. His message was something he could only understand.
Sho opened the notebook. It was a diary. He quietly read a few sentences, flipped the pages until he reached the last entry, which was written four years ago.
Sakura tensed for a moment but she didn't let it show on her. The first sentence was "Mom and dad went to a vacation today—"
She could not read the rest. Sho had closed it, and threw it in the fire as well.
"…Why would you…"
[Why would you burn your diary?] She wanted to ask. But she expected the boy will answer him in a way that she would not understand again. Still, the boy answered her.
"I wrote that diary four years ago. I stopped in the same year. It carried some of my best memories…" He showed the smile again. The same smile from earlier. "Sorry, bet you couldn't understand most of what I'm saying."
The third one is a photo album. He gripped the cover, he tried to open it. But then his arm trembled, he stopped. "It looks like I cannot bring myself to look."
Sakura knew what was coming. She watched the photo album flew in the air, and into the fire. Slowly, being consumed. The letters earlier were no longer, the notebook was charred black already and it's losing its form.
She watched them burn.
"Why I wonder, I thought they were good to burn…"
Sakura thought silently. Right now, she could tell with no doubt that Sho had something weighing on him. Whatever it is, she did not dare to ask.
"I think they are burning quite easily though."
"Ah, I meant…feeling, I guess. Feels good to burn, yes, something like that."
As expected, she could not understand it. Burning love letters, a diary, and a photo album would feel good?
"I-I kinda get it."
Sho picked up the wooden rod and flipped the trashes again. There were some plastics there, along with the branches and twigs. By turning over the heap, the hidden part would be exposed to the flame, and they would burn to cause a momentarily rise in the flames and temperature.
The heat permeated through her clothing. She didn't notice earlier but when she came near, the coldness of spring never made through her. Her loose pants were getting warmer, her jacket as well. The thin fabric touching her skin felt comfortable. It was not too hot, just perfectly warm.
"Doing this would burn the branches and stuffs faster. And a personal reason, I don't like leaving an unburned part, you see."
"This is nice though. Especially since it's really cold right now." Sakura bent her legs and squatted on the spot behind Sho. She rested her chin on her hands and looked at the young man's back silently tending to the fire.
Sakura's gaze was into the fire, and when Sho walked around to flip the burning pile in a different angle, she shifted it to look at his face. Sho was mildly smiling… Self-derision—something like that didn't exist there. His eyes were focused, it is mostly due to the reflection of the flames, but they were shining as if on their own.
She returned her gaze to the fire, feeling comfortable. She let out a smile herself. At this moment, she realized that the black-haired young man carried some kind of obsession with the act of burning. But she didn't care.
The flames burning were beautiful. Unlike earlier, it was not hard for her to understand him.
A wind blew, carried some sparks along with it. Sakura followed one of them with her eyes as they landed.
"Ow…! That hurt." Sho jerked back frantically and touched his neck. "One of those flying little embers must have hit me."
"Pffft—" Sakura giggled silently. Sho heard her, turning around a bit flustered. "Oops… Sorry…"
But again, the girl cracked another laugh. She could not stop it. This flustered young man right now didn't fit the good-looking and cool image that Sakura had when she first met him.
"I'm sorry," she said, but she could still feel her mouth smiling a little.
"Well, sorry for being uncool!" Sho shot back. "That was just a natural reaction, if an ember hit you, you would act the same as well. Oh right, why don't you try flipping the fire as well?"
"…Right now?" The fire was already on the point of being reduced to only embers.
"I mean tomorrow night. I will be burning things here again past midnight. You didn't bring anything today so be sure to bring some."
"…." She didn't reply immediately. She stood up. "Okay."
"Great. Hope some embers will fly into you as well," he said, grinning.
"That won't happen though," Sakura replied in the same manner.
"We'll see."
As they declared to one another, the flames went weaker, just enough for them to see each other's features.
The warmth earlier had gradually faded, and the coldness of spring made its presence felt again.
"—Can I ask a question?" An unfamiliar voice resounded in the path where Sakura came from, and she was struck with nervousness.
Sho looked, and Sakura turned around as well. There a figure stood, he approached and asked, "Have you seen someone pass here?"
He could make out his features now. The young man wore a jacket with red as its base color and a cap on his head. His hair was also red.
"Ah no. I'm not anyone suspicious." It seemed that the person noticed that they were wary of him.
[That's what suspicious people say though,] thought Sakura.
"We haven't seen anyone besides us," Sho answered.
"I see, thanks," he said, and looked at what's left of the campfire. "By the way, what are you two doing here?"
Sakura felt troubled thinking about how to answer that question.