He heard the door unlock and open, it was later than usual but his mom had groceries.
"Miles!" She called. "Help me get the rest of the groceries please!"
Goosebumps grew on his arms as he saw the mess still on his hand and he quickly got up and went to the bathroom with his head down. And quickly washed off his dirty actions from his hands. Everything seemed darker as he walked to the car while his mom set the food on the counter. He felt tired, more than usual, not from all the running, but simply from how he felt. The yellow door knob seemed so gray and the sky was way too blue. His hands felt no strength as he lifted the bags and they felt like they weighed as much as a boulder. And they weighed down on his arms and shoulders.
He put all groceries on the counter.
"Thank you, Honey." She said
"Mmhm" he mumbled back to her.
Slowly walking to his room, one step at a time he felt the chain move but it was light, so light it surprised him, but not enough for him to care about it at the moment.
"Aren't you going to eat?" She asked.
"…"
"No thanks Mom, not right now."
Then he shut himself in his room.
This shouldn't have been a big deal, he's a teen after all but
-I failed already…it took not time for me to fail. But does this count as betrayal? I never touched her or anything.- he thought trying to justify his actions.
But deep in his consciousness he knew he had failed already.
Now he wondered how he would go to school and see Jessica. If he could even look at her. We went into his room and skipped his meal and slept 'till the next day.
This was his first time experiencing the clarity.