It feels like I'm torn from the world of Earth Nomads as quickly as I was tossed into it.
I wasn't given a chance to hug Lolo, or say goodbye to any of the acquaintances I made. and I was left turning the words Aunty Ava had left me with over and over on my tongue. I'm fairly certain I understand what she was saying, but still the taste of that advice is bitter on my tongue. No... It tastes like poison. Because that's exactly what it is: Poison.
Aunty Ava may hope for a war's end, and Altan may hope for a future with his Water Mage wife. But all this really is, is a death sentence.
Even now, Cai is probably already after me. He could kill me at any moment.
How will he do it? An arrow to the heart? Maybe he'll drown me with his magic water? Either way, If Cai is after me, I'm fairly certain my chances of survival are low.
My eyes dash around me at this thought and I scope out the perimeter again. It's like I expect Cai to jump out at any moment and attack me. But nothing has changed, I'm still astride Altan's black Arabian horse, with his body pressed firmly behind mine. And around us is an entire army, we're at the center, and I should feel safe. Honestly I'm in one of the safest spots I can be; surrounded by an army that treats me like royalty. But I'm still at unease.
"What are you looking for?" Altan asks beside my ear, and my body stands on end. I'm not use to being so close to him. But Altan acts as if I never left the Palace, as if our relationship was never put on hold, as if I never betrayed him. he touches me and caresses me as if I'm still the innocent fiancé that I never was.
"I-" I clear my throat because I'm nervous, "It's nothing." I lie. Altan grunts like he doesn't believe me and changes hands that he's using to hold his reins, effectively wrapping me completely in his arms for a few seconds. The way we are riding, with me in front, and him behind me. Cai never made me ride this way... But it's much more... intimate. Altan's body is flush against mine. And it reminds me of the way his touch makes butterflies dance in me.
Although I know it's not smart to keep it a secret that Cai is out to get me. I don't feel like telling Altan yet. Just yesterday, Cai was my ally, he was teaching me to control my element and laughing with me. But today, he is my enemy, he's out to murder me, of all things. And me, I'm changing sides, I'm siding with the enemy. And that hurts.
We continue on in silence. The only sound is the creaking of the leather saddle beneath us, the horses feet trotting through dirt and sand, and the banter of soldiers around us. I wonder if Altan feels as awkward as I do.
When we first left the nomad's caravan I heard Altan telling his soldiers something about taking the fastest route and crossing mountains. I didn't think much of it at the time, but now looming ahead of us is a huge belt of white peaked mountains. I watch them in auspicious wonder as their huge figures grow closer and closer.
We travel the whole day. And Altan and I don't say a word to each other the whole time. Even so, he touches me often, as if to remind me that I am his, and that I can't escape again.
We make camp at the base of the mountains. And as soon as I'm off the horse Altan has his hand wrapped around mine again. He never lets me out of his sight. Even when I tell him that I need to use the latrine, he stands not far off and waits for me.
I get it.
he's paranoid.
He lost me once because he didn't expect that I had Cai on my side, and he's worried he might lose me again.
I get it.
I do.
But it's exhausting none-the-less.
Aside from his constant watchful eye, he's also doting on me like a child. The stew that was served for dinner he basically fed me spoon by spoon. It was awkward, especially with all of his soldiers watching us.
When the sun begins to set, I beg that I could go to my tent. I really really need some time to myself, some time to sort out my thoughts so I can decide where I'm going from here. To decide what I'm supposed to do, and how I'm supposed to survive.
Altan finally agrees to take me to my tent and relief floods through me. It's a small tent with a few furs piled on the ground to sleep on, but not much space. To me though, it's heaven, it's a place where I can finally be away from Altan, a place where he will finally stop touching me so I can have clear thoughts.
Altan takes me to the flaps of the tent then lets go of my hand for the first time in what feels like hours. I give him a nod of appreciation, that also doubles as a goodnight nod, then do one more search around the camp to make sure Cai isn't standing by to murder me.
I see Altan watching me again after I do that. He no doubt has been wondering what I've been looking for all day.
I ignore him, and duck into the tent, releasing a sigh of exasperation and laying down on the fur. Only to sit up immediately when Altan enters the tent too.
"What are you doing?" I ask and scoot as far away from him as the small space will allow.
"I'm getting ready for bed." He answers dryly.
"What? but this is my tent." I spew.
"You think I'll let you have your own tent after all this?" He raises an eyebrow at me.
my mouth opens but I don't have an argument for that.
~Great... So we're sharing a tent.~
"Well," I say instead, "They could have at least given us a bigger tent."
Altan doesn't respond to this, and I lay down on my side, turning away from him, and try to lay as close to the edge of the tent as possible; as far away from him as I can.
I hear him rustle about as he lies down as well, although he doesn't seem as adamant about sleeping far from me. I can feel the heat that rolls off of his body and I know that if I reached out my hand, I could touch him.
~There goes my hope of having some alone time to sort through my thoughts.~
"Azul." Altan's voice hits me like a wave of melted chocolate. "Where is the Water Mage Prince?"
I swallow at his words.
~How does he know?~
"I don't know." I answer honestly.
Altan stays silent for a long time after that, and it's like he's waiting on me to say more.
"But..." I begin, and my voice feels small, "I think he's going to try to kill me before you can marry me."