I'm startled awake by a sonorous banging noise at the door. I haven't forgotten the clashing noises from the previous night and yet again the armed killer pops in my hear until a familiar voice allows my heart rate to finally drop down to a normal beat.
"Wake up!" Screams Alis energetically, hitting my bedroom door harder and harder. "Why did you even lock this thing!" I stump out of bed grumpily annoyed at the noise pollution my ears are currently experiencing. Safe to say that Alis is repulsed by my looks, as her nose crinkles in disgust as soon as her gaze meets me. "Slept well last night?", she jokes as she elegantly enters my room and sits on my poof-chair by my bedside table and picks up my analogue alarm.
"Not really, why?" My voice croaks out painfully as I have just woken up, slightly annoyed and confused at the behaviour of my supposed friend. After which, she shows my alarm with amusement and I realise the time.
"What? How? I slept through my alarm? I never!" I agitate in disbelief. It's almost noon and I gave no idea at what time I would have woken up otherwise.
"You did. Thank you for telling me where you keep your emergency keys, otherwise you would have lost another day this week." She tries to hold in the giggles although some escape regardless. "And by the way, you mustn't have closed you kitchen window well because when I went to steal some food in the kitchen there were a few boken glasses that fell off the drying rack on the sink."
"So it wasn't a strong armed murderer, phew I was so frightened", I heave a sigh of relief and can finally put out the image of a murderer out to kill me. Alis looks at me confused but I ignore it to rush and get ready for school. I know I'm already extremely late, yet I want to try and not lose the entire school day.
By the time I get to school, I've missed half of my lessons and I'm contemplating why I even tried to get here in the first place. Nonetheless Josh greets me with a cheerful smile in Biology class, where yet again, he so kindly left a sit for me.
"How's your dad doing?" he asks dimming the smile a bit and looking profoundly into my irises.
"I haven't heard from him, nor visited him yet" I avoid his gaze as much as possible. I realise he must have thought that I'm late to school because I was at the hospital and a sense of guilty hits me at once. I reckon I might have aswell skipped school and went to visit my dad, yet the thought of him didn't even cross my mind untill now.
"We can go together afterschool if you want? I don't really want to leave you to deal with this on your own, it was a pretty tough night probably..." He leans back on his chair after he finishes the sentence. For once he's the one avoiding my gaze, trying to avoid my penetrative eyes on him. His hands end up on the back of his neck a couple times. I wonder if his nervous or something because I have never seen him act like this.
"You have already done so much. I'll be fine don't worry about it. Besides Alis can always help me in case I need help and I have your number right... I don't want to interfere with you life any further." I play with my book a lot. I should be writing down notes, instead I always find myself just talking to Josh everytime. After I speak he just gives me a nod and goes back to listen attentively to the teacher after taking a big swing forward and adjusting his hair.
°°°
Afternoon approached quicker that expect, yet I was also looking forward to visiting my dad. It's strange how this situation came to be and I have so many questions to ask him. I find myself rehering my words time and time again before entering the hospital facility and asking to see my dad. This could be my last opportunity at getting any answers and I want to do it correctly because I realise I didn't handle it the best way the first time around.
I knock on the door before entiring and I'm graced with my dad reading a book, from which he looks up and smiles my way.
"Hi Joy, I was waiting to see you again" he says as he puts the book to one side and adjust his position to confort in the hosital bed. "Thank you for donating the blood needed for the transfusion."
"You are my dad. I'm glad you are better by the looks of it, when are you allowed home?"
"Just one more night to makes sure I'm stable and then everything would go back to normality."
"Yeah. I have a question, what happened? How did you end up in a car accident? Because you left and I didn't hear about you untill the hospital call that geniunly startled me", my chest is pounding again, I would be surprised if my dad wasn't able to hear it at this point. I am just lightly seated on one side of the bed and I'm trying my hardest to not go hard him, knowing that it won't help either one of us.
My dad's gaze lowers and he squizzes his temples repeatedly, as though he's rehering what he's about to say before speaking, "I went to your mother's grave, I don't know how or when or why. I just remember having the impulse to leave and heading straight there. It took me a couple hours but I made it and I stayed the night at a friend's place gathering my thoughts. Then I rose up early in the morning to meet her and..." He lifts up his eyes as he pauses, "a drunk driver hit me on the way back, it was getting dark and rain was beginning to fall so I don't fault him completely for not seeing me in my black coat."
Silence pauses as I try to metabolise the words my father's mouth just uttered, incapable to acctually understand what is going on. It goes on for a time until he breaks it again saying:
"I'm gonna tell you about the letter..."