A couple of weeks have passed since my dad came home after the accident. We are finally getting more honest with each other and I'm quite hopeful of the future ahead. Winter break has finally arrived and I want to focus my research on finding my biological father. I do get the feeling that my dad isn't too thrilled about the idea and he constantly nudges me towards focusing on my exams and putting in the work for school. But I can't make that come true as my mind has been conjuring up all kinds of images and scenarios of me meeting my brother ever since I found out about him. I am not substituting my dad, just learning more about my roots and family. The topic wasn't discussed again until yesterday, when after lunch my dad gave me some old pictures he found clearing my mom's room.
"My dad gave me these pictures yesterday, the little boy is my... brother?" I say handing over the pictures to Alis. We are in the living room, the pictures are displayed on the wooden coffee table before us. Some immortalise me as well as my brother, but my dad's face is unclear in everyone of them.
"We can say one thing for sure," says Alis leaning back and then foreward, grabbing a few pictures of my dad, scrutinising them as thuogh looking for clues, "Your father isn't the photogenic type. I mean look at him clearly hiding away from the shot in this one." She giggles a little and I glance at the photo too.
"Hah, that explains where I get my genes from" I take the photo to look at it a bit more and I recognise the location rightaway. My eyes widen in disbelief and Alis picks up on it immediately asking 'what's up' in a curious tone.
"The cafetería behind them is my uncle's. Well, I remember going there every weekend until we stopped at some point.... I had completely forgotten about it..."
"So your uncle knows your father?" she askes puzzled possibly sacred of jumping to the wrong conclusion.
"Possibly, not sure if he knows his full name but must have seen him in person at least, my dad doesn't know him, my mother never really mentioned details like this to him, or anything about him for that matter. All he knows is related to the divorce, she helped her cope with the change and stuff but that's it really" I sigh in disbelief, realising how everytime I seem to get closer to the truth I'm pushed 10 steps back due to missing picies, "I don't know where he lives now though, I don't know if he even still has the shop now."
I look up a little and and look at Alis as she squezzes her temples, visibly trying to think of a solution or absolutely anything to help the situation. At some point she brightens up a little and with a beam she reassures me saying:" Let's not lose hope, we will look up the restaurant online, find its location and visit it tommorow, if he doesn't work there anymore we shall conjure up the confidence to ask the locals. Do you remember the shop being croweded or any particular regular customers?"
I shake my head frenatically in response. Nothing specific comes to mind but it's also to be expected. In the photo I'm likely about 3 years old and my brother is 4-ish. The fact that these are all like 10 years old doesn't help because my brother must have changed so much over the years and is probably looks nothing like he does here. No memories are awaked looking at the picture, yet a hollow feeling in my chest is perceived quite strongly. Not knowing anything drives me insane as I'm picking at straws, grasping for air in a sea of questions with nobody able to answer them. The boy looks quite lean in the picture, with dark think wavy hair framing the slightly tanned skin. He's eyes aren't visible clearly they seem hazel just as much as they seems grey with a tint of ocean blue undertones. My mother has those eyes, and part of me expects him to have them too.
"Imagine if we found out that you two went to the same school still...", giggles Alis as she looks at a picture immortalising me and my brother in a kindergarten, stopping my thoughts from spiraling down even further in this path to destruction.
"My mother had cancer apparantely, that's what my dad told me, sorry if I'm only telling you now what he said, I have been internalising it ever since and I'm just finding the cour-" Alis hugs my catching me off guard but nicely stopping me from hyperventilating as my breath got shorter but my pace was starting to gain speed," no justification needed" she says with a soft beam on her face as she pulls away from me.
I heave a deep breath, almost as though I massive burden was moved from my chest, the weight on my head is phisically lighter and relived at Alis's comprehensive nature.
"She had a surgery but it went wrong, and she died, She fought to keep me in touch with my brother, my father just wanted to cut all links. They found each other again after being good school friends sometime after they left the neighbourhood. I'm glad my mom found someone who truly loved her in the end. I just feel like I'm missing part of my identity and I strongly hope that my supposed brother is the answer...."
Alis slowly nods as I'm taking to her. I like it when she does as it signals to me thst she's being quite attentive and understanding. Sometime later we decide to research my uncle's caffeteria whose name was fortunately whithin the picture.
"Guess what?" Says Alis after sometime researching. I look up curiously expecting good news.
"I found it. It it's not too far out of town either..."