~MICAH P.O.V ~
Does he miss me as much as I miss him?
Did he really change?
Was coming here a wrong choice?
That was the only thing running through my mind right now. After arriving at his home I was greeted by his little sister who was extremely excited to see me for some odd reason and also the housekeeper Julie. We then had dinner when his mom arrived but although it was awkward, his sister Nila would ask me a bunch of questions non-stop to lighten the mood a bit.
Some of them I swiftly managed to ignore because those were too personal even for me then after, I talked with his mom about how long I'm staying here.
I notice Mani would distance himself from his mom or avoid making any sort of conversation with her. His sister would whisper in my ear saying their relationship is unstable. It wasn't my business to interfere but I was curious.
Unable to sleep, a soft knock was heard from outside the room door. I didn't want to move but I was wondering who it might be at this time of an hour. Opening the door, I was surprised to see Nila standing in front of me dressed in an oversize shirt and long pajama pants. "I know it's late but can we talk?" I nod with concern then let her in.
"How come you're not sleeping?" I asked before turning on the lights then went to sit around the study table.
"Apparently I was downstairs getting a glass of water cause my throat was hella dry, that's when I saw Mani getting in his car. Tried calling him five times but he ignored me," She sighed.
Honestly, I didn't have a clue about what to say or what to do.
"He called his mom only by her first name, why?" My eyes glance at her wanting to know the reason behind it. Did someone bad happen in the past or...
She shifts on the bed moving away the curtains to look outside. "Our parents are divorced and Mani has blamed mom for it ever since. I don't have a say because clearly I wasn't born around that time but he's hurting," She pauses to adjust back the curtains then face me with a smile that didn't reach her face.
"You have this desire to be with him, it's written all over your face so it wasn't hard putting two and two together. I would read the letters you guys wrote at nine years old which makes me excited because if I can't mend my brother's pain then maybe you can. He needs a light to his darkness." I glance at her for a moment with my eyebrow raised in amazement also wondering...she's young but smart and very observant.
Nila does remind me of my older sister Emmy but it would be hard trying to be the light to his darkness when he chooses to avoid me. But still love in most cases can be rare and if you don't have the willpower to overcome certain obstacles to acknowledge that love, it's just pointless.
Although I'm here to find myself like where I stand in life. It's better to focus on myself first, my emotions can wait at least.
"I'm a guy who likes your older brother, aren't you disgusted by that?" I played with my fingers letting her see this side of me. The shy side, I'm not used to other people seeing this side of me if I'm uncomfortable around their presence but she's just like Emmy.
"We can't choose who we want to love, instead love chooses the person for us. It doesn't matter if you're a guy, a merman, or a damn fairy. What matters is that you listen to your heart plus loving the same gender isn't really a big deal in my book," She blushes hiding her face against the pillow then rolls on the bed from side to side letting out a soft girly scream.
We talked for hours getting to know each other better, then when it was 3:10 am she rushed off to bed remembering she has school in the morning. I'm not starting classes until next Monday so instead of sleeping. I went on my laptop to organize some stuff not before removing the brown contact lens.
Damn, I paused..... Nilmani didn't see my original eye color. I should have taken the lens off and shown him when we were in the car. I groan looking at nothing in particular.
*Text notifications*
< I like talking to you. You make a great husband ;) >
I read the text realizing I gave Nila my number. I shook my head at the thought of being in a relationship with Mani then went back to finish what I was doing when I felt my ears getting hot.
*********************************
~NILMANI P.O.V~
I unlocked the door to my dorm room and then slowly closed it feeling restless and hot. I couldn't sleep there, not when that guy was there, he was in my dreams. The thoughts I have about having him in my bed, kissing him all over, making him know I didn't mean to hurt his feelings....was enough for me to get out of the house and drive back here late.
After we arrived from the airport I went into my room and looked for the letters, it was bugging me ever since Nila told me she read them. Once I found the box they were in and it was obvious the letter was there for a long time, because of the change in texture and color.
Best believe I sat my ass on the floor and read through all of them. I cursed at myself when the memories of our first meeting came playing in my mind like an old record.
The little boy I saw sleeping in the library. The same boy who gave me the book. The damn ring, wonder if he still has it.
"Fuck," I was kind of pissed at myself...I keep on telling myself to forget him but I can't. My parent's relationship is fucked up, my relationship with Jessi is fucked up now Micah just has to jump back into my fucked up life.
(You're hurting yourself, stop being a jackass and talk to Micah. Learn to express your feelings more) Me and my fucked up thoughts.
I went to the kitchen and took out a bottle of liquor. ( You want to forget about me). I know it was Micah the moment I saw him, it was a habit of his to look away when he was shy instead I choose to be the bad guy.
All the girls I hooked up with were just to relieve the stress I'm in. I'm not someone who stays in a relationship for long, maybe one year then off to a new girl.
After some minutes of debating whether to drink away my problems. I looked down at my shaking hands with the liquor in them then decided to put it back in the refrigerator. Drinking away stressful problems is never the answer.
My emotions are conflicted right now, sighing I went to my room. Maybe I can make a small talk with him tomorrow after I'm finished with class. I'm not giving him hope of us being together or anything, he better understands my choices.
Still, it amazes me how he's like a complete stranger to me. The one year of knowing each other through letters has blown out my mind.
Why? Slowly I've just gotten bored, eventually, the pencil stopped writing and I've never looked back. Can't believe he still thinks or has it in mind that I'm the same... Come on Micah, 11 years have passed.
Although the boy I remember has beautiful breathtaking grey eyes and seems so lifeless, this guy at my house has brown eyes. Or is it that it was just grey contacts, if I recall clearly his sister did have brown eyes.
Nope, stop using your brain and just sleep already.