Here I am on another road, on another city, new name, new identity, after the humiliations that I had experienced, I couldn't help but running away, my fling didn't even help me, not that am surprised, but somewhere in between I thought he would have looked out for me just a little but he walk right passed me naked on the floor and run toward his family.
Damien a co-worker of mine, push everyone away lend me his jacket and walk me out inside of his car, while inside of the car, the tears wouldn't stop dropping, I know what you thinking I deserve it, maybe but how cruel can people be, instead of landing me a hand, everyone around me was laughing and taking pictures, and videos, someone even land a $100 bill on my head, like I was a stripper or something , am so angry and disappointed.
He told me he choose me, he told me am the one, while pounding me like no tomorrow and all alone I was just a scratch for him, when I see him running down the floor, and his eyes lock on my, I thought he came to rescue me, to shield me away but all alone he was running toward his wife, always the fucking wife, why not me for once.
Hey! Stop crying, everyone makes mistakes, you learn and you grow, Damien said, while driving me home. I couldn't believe it, I thought i finally won, but I guess like they say, a mistress always stay a mistress, i should have know but my ego was way to high to see that I have been defeated again.
After Damien drop me off, I took a shower and I fall asleep, I don't know how long I have fall asleep but I didn't care, I wake up with a headache so severe that I lost my balance and fall, I crawl myself to the bathroom, took a shower and make some tea, and drink a pill, and while standing in the kitchen, I start to think about everything, and get lost in my thoughts again.
I regain my consciousness, when my phone starts ringing like crazy, I decide to answer it, instead of ignoring like I was doing something, whatever how mess up can my life get.
Hello I answer, Kathy i heard John whisper, what do you want I scream at him, the event of yesterday rush towards me like a boomerang ready to crash anything, am sorry he said, I know you don't want to hear that right now, but am outside let me in so we could talk please.
I know I should tell him to go to hell but John is the first of many that actually come to me for an apology, so am shock, and surprise, fine give me a minute, I close the phone and go open the door for the only man in my life that actually treated me as a person.
As I open the door, I was shocked to see the way that John look, he look like a bear and a car make a collision and crash him over, he look fuck up, I almost fell sorry for him, but i wouldn't, never will I do that.
Come in I tell him, he walk in and sit on the sofa, the same sofa he use to bury my face in, in that a bitch, his head lay in his hand, and he started crying, I mean I understand where his coming from, but you make your bed you lay in it, what the hell should i care.
So you came in my house to cry, John don't you have no one to go to, and do that, man for once in your like Kat be a human, he stare at me his eyes cold as in ice, I laugh, when we started this affair didn't I tell you from the beginning that, your business in your family stay with you, why bring it here for me to care about.
Just because you are rejected, doesn't give you the right to be treated other like one, he scream at me, he'll no, he didn't go there, Get Out, Get The Hell Out John, you will insult me in my space.
What space he scream at me, the space that I brought for you, with my own money.
You right it yours, I leave you stay, I walk passes him and get into my room to get my clothes, I never ask him for it, he give it to me only to reproach me, fuck man, fuck them all.
I walk around the room, my eyes blurry with tear packing my bag, with no idea of where am going, jeez why do my life always end like this, until il I feel a hand wrapped around my waist and hold me tight.
I try to fight it but John is strong he wouldn't let me go, we stay there until I feel him walk away and sit on the bed and make me sit on his lap whispering how sorry and tired he is.
I turn around and kiss him let him take my clothes off, I know what going to happen but deep inside me, a little part of me just want to feel needed.