Sammy, my grand baby how are you my papaw ask, am fine not really at all my heart is shattered into pieces, my heart is ripped apart, my John , my baby , the father of my twin, no no way will I ever imagine him doing this to me, but here we go, a foul that what I am, for months he be cheating behind my back, when I bring it up am being insecure, but yet it was all true, that image of him fucking her make my blood boil with anger, and the audacity of the tramp to try to be little me, as if I am some type of trophy wife or something, Kathy that name whenever I think of her, the more I don't regret my actions, I hate the facts our children have to see that side out of me but when you walk in on your husband betraying you that way, how can you react honestly, we been together for 14 years, I give my life into this relationship, I give him my pride and all I have in return is this heartbreak. Sammy my baby, my grandma say I can't see you like this, I know I can't do nothing for this pain but for the sake of the kids don't harm yourself please, you haven't come out that room since you arrived here, please come down and eat, your brother, Jaz, and the kids are downstairs please come down.
That was a week ago, I move back in LA for the rest of my vacation, we have plan to go to Paris for this coming month but with all this going on it better to be closer towards my family, I am trying to move on and held myself positively for the sake of my babies, I don't want them to see me like this , once in a while Linda will ask about daddy, but Damian never asked, I guess he understands that me and his dad are not together anymore.
My niece and nephew have been keeping them company, make me feel so much better, watching them play and laugh make me happy, am glad for a sister in law like Jaz, she's the sweetest person I ever known, she keeps me company and try her best not to ask questions about what going trough my mind.
She told me my brother has called John but he hasn't been answering any of his calls.
I mean what did I expect, he picked up most of his clothes and left for his mistress, not caring let alone check on the kids, since he left he didn't even bother calling me, most spouse will have been begging and calling doing or showing some type of guilt but not my husband, once he followed me that day home and I tell him to get out I don't want to see his face again, he literally just do exactly that.
My mind being going through divorce, because I don't know how can I ever been able to pass that betrayal, how will we ever move on from this situation.
I love John, and I still do, that man have brought a part of me that is irreplaceable, he ruin me for any other man, every being of my body belongs to him, and some how he couldn't understand why his actions take a troll on me this way, I want to put the blame on me, but why should I, I try everything to get me more closer towards his past, he always look like his holding unto himself, his past is something he never wanted to share with me, how can I be his redemption when he never fully let me in.
The way he was fucking her, so brutally like a beast starving for food, as if he wasn't fed in days, he never treat me like this, he always docile with me as if I will break, am a big girl I can handle it, I won't die, I hate myself for imagining this scenario in my head, for putting myself in this position, I wanted to be her at this moment, I feel myself burning with anticipation, I wanted to be her, what is wrong with me.
Should I be ashamed of myself, should I feel little for wanted my husband that way, I hate the facts some of the words she said is true, I wasn't a daring type of woman, missionary was my go, but still it isn't my fault, he never questioned let alone put out ideas of what he want in bed, so how should I know he was starving.
My pussy ache from this anticipation, she wanted this, fuck that I wanted this as long as know John he never was an aggressive person, but now I found out there more to him then I know, the way his hands wrapped around her neck, the brutal trust fuck why is that all that keep on playing in my head.
Mommy are you ok Damian ask, I forgot that I was watching them today, no one was here so I decided to watch over the kids, yes my sweet, is daddy coming over, for the first time since we been here he finally ask, what should I say, I just pull him closer to me and hug him, no word can form out my mouth, I don't want to lie to them, I don't want to give them false hope.
I want this to be a dream, but to bad that was my reality now, dad haven't say nothing at all to me since I be here, I mean he never wanted me to be with him, do I regret my decision no, but do I feel stupid yes, John was a wolf cover in sheep, how could've known.
I was always a daddy little girl, I was spoiled rotten, I never know what suffering feels like and sometimes I thought it was best to keep it that way, so when I met John I wanted to break that cycle , I wanted to feel independent on my own, making my own decisions, well I got my wishes.
Damian sweetheart, mommy is ok, her and daddy just need a break but not to worry we will be fine, don't stress yourself out, we on this vacation we will be enjoying our time.
Yayyy he jumped around running towards his sister, nieces and nephews, Jaz run out to buy something she staying over this weekend with me, before she can go back to work, as for me I will be enjoying my week and try to fix my mess, I still work with my husband, we both own this business, I usually step down so he could run things out, but not anymore his freedom is over, am taking my place and earn everything that was my, I was to naive with him, to trust worthy but now it a game, a game of mouse and cat.
The old me is back, I throw it away to be this perfect fucking wife and yet look where that got me, we won't get a divorce yet, but I sure will make sure he lives to regret ever fucking with me.
And for that bitch let hope we ever meet again, because this time I won't spare her at all, not because she fuck my husband but because she disrespected my children, I don't play about them, she should have no better but since she don't I will teach her some matter.
Sleep well Kathy because once we meet again it will be your worst nightmare.