I stood there for just a few moments, as it suddenly felt like the weight of the whole world was now on my shoulders, after what he had just said to all of the people that were here with us in this big clearing. I hated to be stressed out, and I really hated to talk out in public in front of a bunch of people as well.
This was worse than it had ever been before, and I knew it as well. It scared me quite a bit, as I gulped at just the thought of all of it, as I had my eyes closed, but I knew that all of the people that were around us at the moment, were all looking over to me, for me to step up to the stand, and give some sort of miraculous speech to them.
They all knew who I was already, as they had seen my face, as I had talked to quite a few of them as well. I had not talked to over a thousand of them, and the people I had spoken to, I was still a bit nervous to even speak to them, and that was only when I had to speak to them one at a time.
This was some thing all together completely different. I gulped, as I felt a bit weak, as a person, and a man, which I some times forgot that I was at this point in my life. I knew I had to open my eyes at some point, and I had to step up and speak to every one, but I just stood there for a bit of some time, as I just wanted to hold it off for as long as I possibly could.
People did not realize how stressful this was for me, as I hated to talk in public, as I was sure that many of them would think that they could easily do so, until they realized just how scary all of it was in the first place. I shook my head, as I knew that I should not be worried about what other people thought of me at the moment.
I knew if I stood here for any longer as well, I would only be made to look even more like a fool, and a coward. I did do so in fact, as I was just too afraid to move, or do any thing that would get people to judge me. Hell... What was I talking about? They already were, and had judged me as it was.
As I stood in that spot out in the open, I then suddenly felt some one grab on to my shoulder, as if it were some way of them trying to get my attention, which I did not blame them for it either, as I knew that it was all my fault, as I was so out of it at the current moment in time.
I opened my eyes, and I blinked just a few times, to see who it was that had done so. At first I had thought it to be Pop, as I had a bit of some panic attacks, and anxiety attacks when I used to work at the bar, but as I opened my eyes to see it was just John, it all came back to me that this was a much different world that I was in right now, and there was no bar any more.
I looked at John for just a few moments, as instead of him having the bit of a blank look on his face, and having his eyes squinted at me, like he normally did when it felt like he was about to say some thing important to me, I saw that he instead had a bit of a sad look for some odd reason or another.
It was a bit strange to me, as I tilted my head at the same time as well, as I was in fact quite a bit confused as to what was going on. He hardly ever seemed to be sad, and I was not sure as to why he would be sad at a time such as this one, when there were plenty of other times to be sad.
I would have thought that he would have been more upset at me if any thing. It was just not the case, as it had me at a bit of a loss for words, and a bit lost in my head at the same time too. After a few moments as well, luckily enough for me, John then began to speak up to me, and I listened to what it was that he had to say to me at the exact same time too.
"Kid... I know that it is a lot to take in, and I know it may seem scary to you, but these people look up to you... You can see that they are just as afraid as you are, look in to their eyes." He said to me. I blinked just a few times, as I was a bit at a loss for words still, as I then turned my head over to the people that were all around me.
I stared at them for just a few moments, as I was a bit lost, as I was not all that good at judging people by the looks on their faces none the less. I blinked a few times how ever, as I realized that it was not hard for me to see the genuine fear in the eyes of many of the people that were around the tables.
They were not judging me, as I began to realize that. I was not sure if they were looking up to me how ever, as like I said once again, I was not good at judging people by the looks that were on their faces. I also had begun to realize at the exact same time as well, that they had no reason to look up to me.
A part of me began to relieve some of that stress, but also a bit of me kind of felt wrong for thinking that way at the same time as well, as I knew who I was, as I was the person that was supposed to have powers, and I was supposed to save all of these people, and at some point lead them in to battle.
If I let them down, than this would all be for nothing... I would never get my revenge for the dragon that had killed my mother. I squinted my eyes, as I then turned my head back over to John, at the exact same time as well, as I then nodded to him after just a couple of seconds.
John looked at me as well, as to my surprise, he did not have his eyes squinted back on me, like he usually did, as he then nodded back to me. I stood there for a bit of time, as I realized that it was in fact my turn to speak, as I blinked just a few times, and then I began to speak back to him.
"I guess I see your point... But how am I supposed to tell them that I am a powerful person, and that I am going to lead them? Almost all of these people are bigger than me... Hell... Even the women are..." I said to him, as I looked back over to a few of the people, as I saw a bunch of women hanging around each other at a table by them selves.
I blinked a few times, as I was kind of taken aback by the fact that they were in fact so big in the first place. John was not all that big of a guy in the first place, and he looked like squashed tomatoes to these women, even if he was the leader of all of this.
I shivered just a little bit, as I knew that I did not want to get in to a one on one fight with those ladies, as I then turned my head back to John, as I heard him begin to speak right back over to me, after just a little bit more time had passed along. I nodded to him, as I then in turn listened to what it was that he had to say to me as well.
"Relax kid... Your uncle was not a big guy by any means, but he sure as hell knew how to lead a legion..." He said to me, I looked at him for a bit longer, as that did not seem to help me all that much. He could tell that it did not as well, as he rolled his eyes at me, and then he continued to speak up to me. "What I am trying to tell you is... Let then know who you are... Believe it or not you are a powerful person, you just don't see it yet, and you do not believe in your self either."
I looked at him for a few moments, as I blinked a few times as well. Was that supposed to be a motivational speech that he had just conjured up, that he had thought would make me feel better about all of this? I was not sure if it did all that much to help me in the end, but at the same time as well, I could also kind of see what he was getting at.
I did not believe that I had the powers that my uncle had, even if I could see the dragons in my dreams, like he had done. I knew it was because I did not believe in my self as well, so that was nothing all that new to me at all.
As I thought on what he had just said to me, for just a little while longer, I then began to realize that it did in fact make me feel just a little bit better about all of this. I knew that he was right, as I let out a bit of a sigh to my self, as I closed my eyes at the same time too.
It was still a lot for me to take in, as I knew that I was still going to have to step up and talk in front of thousands of people, and there was no way you could be able to make me feel any sort of better about that at all. He had done a good job to at least let me know that these people were not going to judge a young kid such as I, all that harshly about it.
I opened my eyes, as I knew that I did not need to be trapped in thought at the current moment in time, as there was far too many people looking at me, and expecting some thing out of me. I looked back over to John for a bit of some time, as I then nodded to him, as I then began to speak to him at the exact same time as well.
"I suppose you are right... It just seems so hard... Even if I have the dreams, I still feel like I do not have the powers..." I said back to him. He looked at me for just a few moments, as he then dipped his head to the ground at the same time too, which confused me quite a bit as well.
I was worried about it, as I wondered if he believed in me, and he believed what he had said a few moments ago was true as well. I lowered my head to the ground at the same time too, as I was starting to get a bit freaked out, and a bit scared once again, such as I had been doing earlier.
As I stared down at the ground how ever, I heard some one yell my name from quite some distance away, as I lifted my head back up to the ground again, to see who was speaking to me in the first place, and what it was that they had to say to me at the exact same time as well.
I realized that it was Travis, and he was speaking up to me from the center of the stage, with a bit of a strange smile on his face as well. I shook my head, as I was not sure as to why I would have thought that it might have been any one else that would have spoken up that loud to every one, to get my attention.
I blinked a few times, as I did my best to shake of the thoughts on why it was that he had such a strange grin on his face in the first place. It seemed like he always had some thing to smile about, and the grin that he had on his face when he did too, freaked me out just a little bit.
I shook off all of those thoughts how ever, as I heard him say my name once again, as I blinked a few times, and then I began to listen as to what it was that he had to say to me, in front of all of these people, for real this time as well.
"C'mon Joseph! Don't be shy! No one is going to judge you..." He said to me, as it was not the first time that some one had told me that as well. It still was a bit hard for me to believe that to be true, but at this point, it had been said so many times to me, I had to believe in to be true at this point.
I turned my head over to John at the same time too, as I saw him nod to Travis who was standing on top of the big stage, that seemed to grow bigger and bigger every second that I looked at it. I was just going to be one small itsy bitsy man on top of that stage as well, which gave me even bigger chills.
I was not sure what I was doing, as John turned his head over to me, and this time he finally squinted his eyes at me like he normally did. Normally it would stress me out quite a bit as well, but this time it kind of made me feel a little bit better to have some thing normal happen to me today.
John shook his head at me at the same time too, as he rolled his eyes at me at the same time as well. He let out a bit of an overly loud sigh at the same time as well, until after a little bit longer, he then finally decided that he was ready to speak to me, as I listened to what it was that he had to say to me at the exact same time too.
"Look Joseph... You do not have to tell them that you have powers... Just tell them who you are... Hell... You do not even have to tell them about the dreams, though I am sure they all know about them already..." He said to me. I looked at him for a few moments, as I gulped at the same time too. John shook his head, as he then put his hand on my shoulder, and he continued to speak to me as well. "The meeting in the tent was to relieve your stress... You have got this kid... It is not as scary as you might think... Now go show them who you are!"
I looked at him for a few moments, as he pushed me forward in just the slightest at the same time too, as I tilted my head, as I was a bit confused as to what was going on at the same time too. It then hit me, as I remembered that I had to go up on to that big stage, and speak to all of these people.
At the thought of that, I began to get a bit scared, as I dipped my head a bit low to the ground, as I began to head over to the stage that was in front of me. I did my best to drown out all of the people that were speaking all around me, as I felt like many of them were talking a lot of shit on me.
I knew that was not the case, as I thought back on what it was that John had just said to me. I also remembered the fact that I had been in the tent. I knew that they were all there only to help me, and that every one only wanted to best for me. If I fucked this up, I was sure that I would not be judged to hard.
After all, to most of these people that were in the crowd around me, I was simply just a kid. I knew that it was not as scary as I thought it was, just as John had said to me, as I knew that no one expected all that much out of me. At all of those thoughts, I then began to walk on to the stage, with a little bit of a strange smile on my face for some reason, as to exact same time as well.
I could tell that it surprised Travis a bit, as I knew that he knew that I was not a big fan of speaking in public places such as this, as I had said it before, and I had also repeated it whilst I had been in the tent with the rest of the council that was in there as well.
Travis nodded to me, as to my surprise I saw that he seemed to be a bit happy for me. The reason that it surprised me so much, as well, was the fact that it seemed like he wanted me to fail at times. I some times wondered if he wanted that, only because I knew that he and John were not exactly friends at all.
I nodded back to Travis, as he put his hand forward, for me to walk up in front of the stage to all of these people. I stood there for just a few moments, as I hesitated just a little bit, as Travis then began to speak up to me at the exact same time as well, as I then listened as to what it was that he had to say to me in the first place.
"You got this Joseph... Just follow the script..." He said to me, a bit quietly, so that none of the people that were all at the tables right now, could hear as to what it was that he had just said to me in the first place. I blinked a few times, as I was a bit lost on what it was that he had meant by that in the first place.
It was almost as if it were some sort of joke to me, as I knew that I did not have a script at all. I had to do this off the top of my head. I also began to realize at the same time as well, that I was not supposed to have a script, as it was very simple, as to what it was that I had to say to all of them.
I remembered that in the tent, they all had told me that I simply just needed to tell them who I was. It was as simple as that... I did not need to tell them a whole life story, or tell them what I was in to, and what it was that I enjoyed doing, which I was not even sure what it was that I even liked to do any more.
All I had to do was step up, and let them know my name, and who I was, and what it was that I was going to do for them. I turned my head over to all of the people that were around me, as I stepped up to the front of the stage at the exact same time as well.
I was about to step up and begin to speak with a loud as well, until I suddenly heard the voice if another man step up to speak above me from the large crowd. I felt like I recognized the voice as well, though it was not any one I was all that close to. I shook my head as I turned my head over to the person, so that I could hear what it was that they had to say.
"Hey wait! I know you!"