"You're worried."
I looked at Luca. The world was ending. The last Guardian from our line killed her brother by accident by using her powers. Powers Athena, who was currently missing, had to learn to control in just a few days. Luca and Sebastian were still recovering from almost being killed. I had stabbed someone without thinking about it. I could've killed her if she hadn't been immortal. If she hadn't learned to control her reactions, the Mark of Cain would've killed me.
Who was I becoming?
And where was Athena?
She had walked out and gotten into her car hours ago, and now she wasn't answering her phone. I knew she wasn't dead; when I focused, I could feel her presence. We had a connection that extended beyond our sabers. If something happened to her, I would know it.
"You're in my mind again?" I didn't really care. Whatever I thought I would end up telling him anyway. If I wanted him out of my head, all I had to do was ask for him to oblige.
He smiled. "No, I just know you." He stroked the palm of my hand with his thumb soothingly. "When you're worried or upset, you tug on your ear."
I did. I also got this crease between my eyebrows.
He knew why I was worried. If something happened to Athena everything we had done up until this point would've been for naught. Mother would kill her, the world would become one violent, bloody mess.
Athena, where are you?
I didn't expect an answer, but I was still disappointed when I didn't get one. She could've at least texted me back. Then again, why should she? Until now, it had been a battle for whose life was going to be sacrificed. We hadn't had time to even get close to each other, and I was fooling myself if I thought an instant connection would happen because we shared being Guardians. Even when we were younger Athena didn't need anybody but herself.
"What's on your mind?" Luca asked.
Mostly Athena. I thought about Samia, too, though. She had been strong enough to take down three of the strongest people I knew with just a flick of her wrist. Her power had driven her crazy. She had lost her husband, her status, and her children. She hadn't been able to see her children or family, even the generations that lived after her. She watched people die. It had to be a hard life to live.
But she was such a bitch.
Samia, of course, had her reasons. I was sure if I killed Chloe I'd be bitchy, too, especially if it cost me my family and my mortality. Still, she had only come to ask Athena to kill her, something she knew could send Athena down the same path as her.
"Samia is a selfish, wicked bitch," I told Luca, crossing my arms. "She asked Athena to kill her, then embarrassed her in front of us."
He sighed, leaning his back until it touched the wall. "She has no reason to be embarrassed. It's not like she's ugly or undesirable." He stopped stroking my thumb, instead choosing to put his hands behind his head.
I frowned at the withdrawal, but his eyes were closed so he didn't see. "I don't think she was embarrassed because of self-esteem issues." I tilted my head up to look at him. I knew he was okay, believed he was okay, but seeing him on the ground shuddering…. it was worse than seeing Chloe in the hospital, and I hated to admit it but it was true.
When Chloe was hurt, I froze. I couldn't do anything about it. When Luca was dying in front of me, I stabbed someone who had admitted to being my relative. I felt like I was betraying my sister as if she mattered less than Luca, which wasn't true at all.
Luca looked down at me, eyebrows knitted together in concern. "You're going to rip your ear off, Clare." He reached over and grabbed my hand, gently removing it from the bottom of my lobe. It was burning, now that I noticed it. "I promise Athena will come back, even if we have to get her."
It wasn't Athena. I mean, it was, but it was everything else, too.
You're betraying Chloe.
All I could think about was how Samia killed her brother. I wasn't going to kill Chloe, nothing could ever make me do that, but wasn't I just as bad for not protecting her? How I could sit there while demons tried to kill my unaware and defenseless sister, but it took nothing to attempt to kill someone for Luca?
Being shitty ran in the family.
"I know she will," I sighed. I brought the blanket up to my shoulders, his chest. At least I hoped she will. It didn't make sense for her to run off when we were both in so much danger. It was too risky, not at all like Athena. She didn't even think before she left. If she did, I didn't notice. I was too busy trying to recover from the secondhand shame of Sebastian talking to her like that. "You think she'll forgive Sebastian?"
"If she doesn't die," Luca mumbled, half-asleep.
My heart froze in my chest. "Luca!"
Nothing could happen to Athena. Not just because the end of the world, but because I couldn't bear to see her dead. She was my cousin, my old best friend. She was my partner. A fellow Guardian. Even the small workouts we had did earlier today—Jesus, so much had happened since then I could barely believe that was just this morning—had only reinforced that there was a special energy between us. Without her there would be no me and vice versa.
He reached over and grabbed my hand, squeezing it. "I'm kidding, Clare." He opened one eye, saw me glaring, and flashed a chagrined grin. "If it'll make you feel better, the second I get my strength back, I'll reach out to her mentally. She doesn't know how to block it yet."
It did make me feel better, even though it would be another hour or two before he regained enough strength to use his powers. "I'll allow it."
We were quiet again. I wondered what Luca was thinking about. I didn't bother him, though. I had enough to think about on my own.
This morning I was running around upstairs with Athena, learning how to take and throw a punch, somehow pissing her off enough she actually tried to fight me. Oddly enough, though, it had been just what I needed. Not enough to curb the anxiety of my life, but enough that I wasn't obsessing over dying for two hours.
Also this morning, I was getting every single millimeter of my skin kissed. Luca made sure not to leave a single strand of my hair left untouched. And while I hadn't had time to think about it, there it was, sitting in the back of my mind, ready to explore.
I could still feel every glorious brush of his fingertips against my skin—light caresses on either side of my face, more solid, broader strokes along my thighs, one finger trailing down my spine, pressing against it. He was definitely the sin of lust, and not just because he was sexy but because it oozed out of every pore. When he kissed me, I felt the sun explode over and over again inside in my skin. When he did so much as take a breath too close to me, I felt. My body had spazzed out multiple times. There was nothing as good as physically satisfying as having sex with Luca. If that was even sex. It was more than that. It was like…. an experience.
Luca groaned. "You're projecting your thoughts."
Whoops. I tried to clear my mind, but all I could picture were his eyes, looking down into mine, cheeks flushed red, lips pulled into a cocky smirk. He had me, and he knew it. "Sorry," I apologized.
Later. I could call Bella and talk about it later, when he was feeling better.
But stupid Samia had ruined everything. Samia, who, despite my best efforts, had given us a story I couldn't wrap my head around. It was three hundred years ago, of course, and I knew her story was true. Nothing about made any less sense than anything else I had been dealing with lately. It was just surreal. She was a murderer. She killed her brother. And then came to Sebastian's house and sat in front of us without a single shard of remorse.
As soon as Athena got back, I would assure her that she could never turn out like that. She wasn't stupid. Or selfish. Even though she was willing to sacrifice me at first (and, honestly, I would've done the same), Athena wouldn't become addicted to the power. She wouldn't sacrifice me unless there was no other option. Actually, I would risk my entire life to say that Athena wouldn't sacrifice me at all anymore.
Samia was just a bad apple, and she had to have been before she got her powers.
Finally, to sum everything else that had happened up: Griffin wasn't really with us. He had multiple versions of himself that he could send out over various distances, as Luca had explained. When one Griffin was hurt, the true Griffin didn't feel it. Except this was Samia, and this wasn't normal hurt, this was his life force, so Griffin was apparently laid up somewhere with some women, nursing his wounds.
And Sebastian had left moments after Athena, a grim look on his face. His words had been harsh. He had surprised the hell out of me with how quick he had been to tear her down. I knew it was the near death experience, but still.. he didn't just snap at Athena like that. Something else was going on with him, and when he got back, I'd ask him about it before I punched him.
I owed it to my cousin.
I also thought they were a cute couple, and they were so obviously made for each other. I could never resist putting together a cute couple.
Thoughts somewhat sorted, I closed my eyes and yawned. This was enough thinking for the time being. I could use—
"Some sex," Luca said suddenly, bringing his head forward with a wide grin. "Some sex would make me feel better. We're alone in the house, and we should take advantage of it."
I totally agreed. "Don't get me wrong, I would love to, but—"
"I have a theory—if I'm Lust personified, wouldn't it make sense that I would get energy from being lustful?"
My forehead wrinkled in confusion, even though my hands were already tugging his shirt up. "But being lustful would be the thoughts, not the action. Shouldn't you think about it and not do it?"
"What kind of man would I be if I didn't back my thoughts with actions?" He caught my look and grinned. "Like I said, it's just a theory."
He didn't have to say much more, though.
All thoughts of Athena, Samia, and even treacherous, traitorous sisters (me) disappeared.
"Do you want kids?"
I could get used to this, laying next to Luca with one arm around my shoulder, the other draped across my waist, his face turned toward me, but his eyes closed. When everything settled down that is.
Even though his eyes remained closed, his breathing hitched. "Why? Did something happen with the condom?"
I rolled my eyes. "No. I was just asking."
"Oh." He opened his eyes. Either his 'theory' had worked, or he had recovered naturally because he wasn't asleep, and he had a lot of energy. "Well, I never thought about it. I'm still young."
"You're like two hundred years old, but okay," I teased.
That should've been weird, but he looked my age. It was all about relativity—in human years I was twenty-one. In demon years, he was twenty-four. It was crazy to think that he had lived through the Jim Crow Era—and had a black brother and sister—and had been able to vote for women's rights (I think). Had he been broke during the Great Depression? I could see him sneaking alcohol during Prohibition. He had lived through the Holocaust, Civil Rights Act, First Super Bowl, LA Riots and more.
It was his turn to roll his eyes. "I'm one hundred eighty-six. Still green behind the ears." He kissed my temple, running his fingers down the side of my torso. "I was born January 1st, 1832. My mom was Irish and my dad French. I was born Dennis Martin but I hated that name, so as soon as I was adopted around the human age of ten, I changed it to Lucas. About thirty years ago, I visited Italy, and this one delightful blonde called me 'Luca,' and I liked it, so I kept it."
I was calling him a name one of his ex-lovers created?
My forehead wrinkled as I tried to keep the jealousy at bay. I didn't mind all his hundreds, if not thousands, of lovers. It came with the territory. I did mind, however, that he was using an affectionate nickname one of them had given him. "She must've been special."
He lifted the shoulder closest to me. "I don't even remember her name." I thought he hadn't noticed my jealousy—truly, the guy was my soulmate, I had no reason to be jealous, yet I was anyway, worried about a girl who was dead now—but then he pulled me closer with a grin and said, "My attention, as well as my heart, is only on you, Clare. You have no reason to be jealous."
I started to protest it, but he could read minds. "Have you ever been in love before?" Why did I ask that question, knowing there's a chance I wouldn't like the answer?
Jealousy was so irrational. I knew for a fact Luca would never love someone as much as he loved me, but my skin still bristled when he mentioned other women. Knowing some other person had had him in the same way I had made me feel like I was nothing special. He was damn near immortal. One day I would die, and he would still be young and hot, and I would be a memory.
"No one else has ever had me this way."
I looked up at him. His eyes were blazing—not quite angry, not even passionate really. Intensely. He was staring at me intensely, as if he was trying to burn something into my mind. "Huh?" His expression had thrown me off.
"You were thinking about how another person had me this way," he explained. "Sex is sex. Physical feelings are simply that—physical feelings, and anybody can give them to you. But love is different. I've never loved anyone before, not like this, so it makes the sex different. It makes everything different—kisses, caresses, conversations…"
The swelling of my romantic side squeezed the jealousy right our. I'm a lucky girl, I thought, failing miserably to keep the grin on my face. It was hard to suppress when Luca was always saying the right things.
"Have you been in love, Clare?"
The question was asked innocently. Too innocently. It seemed as if Luca had his own jealousy to contend with, and the thought flattered me. If he thought for one single second any guy would compare to him, he was out of his mind. "Once. Or, at least I thought I was," I answered, thinking. I once dated a guy named Harvey for two years. He was a baseball player, about my height and super cute for the sixteen-to-eighteen-year-old age group. He was kind of a prick, but he was sweet to me, and he never missed an important date or event. He even slept with me on the phone during the night, ready to wake up as soon as I wanted to run an idea by him.
It was odd to think about that time in my life. I spent it as Bella's shadow, Harvey's girlfriend. Never really 'Clare.' I spent a lot of time writing books and daydreaming. I also spent a lot of time at his house, making out when we were sixteen. We had sex on my seventeen birthday, and it felt good back then, but compared to now, it was a little subpar. Harvey made me blush every time he kissed me in the hallways. He made my heart beat funny when he told me he loved me. He never missed a chance to show me off to the world. Back then, it was all I wanted.
What did I know?
"What happened?"
I returned my gaze back to Luca. "He got drafted to play professional baseball. We broke up a few weeks after that." I had totally had plans to be a baseball wife and raise our children. I couldn't wait for the little league baseball and softball games with our curly haired cuties. "It was mutual and ended amicably."
It seemed like forever ago. I felt like I had been so young, but it was honestly only three years ago.
"The crazy part is," I continued, "that I swore I would never love someone like that again. At that age, it feels like your first love will be your only love. I'm glad it ended, though. His children are hideous, and they look like him."
Luca laughed. "That's why you're glad it ended?"
I made a sound of agreement. "Yeah. I got you out of it, too, but the ugly kids were the real deal-breaker." I paused, then asked: "If you thought about it, would you want kids?"
Luca took a few seconds to think about it before responding. "I've never even been around children, but I like the idea of a smaller Clare frowning at me when I say something she doesn't like."
I pictured her in my head—skin a little lighter than mine, wild brown curls with blonde highlights, about seven years old and long—and smiled. "I don't frown when you say something I don't like."
"You're right. You glare at me."
I laughed. "Shut up."
His answering smile was lazy and content.
We spent the next few minutes in silence. I wasn't sure what Luca was thinking about, but I was daydreaming about our future.
I had always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. My mother hated it because she had worked hard to become a lawyer and shed the housewife role. My dad hated it because he wanted his daughters to be "progressive" women. No job that really called to me besides being an author, and I could do that at home. As a kid, when Bella and I played with our dolls, I was always the mom who stayed home and cooked, cleaned, and made sure the kids were okay. I pretended to be the supportive wife to a husband who was a doctor, a lawyer, a firefighter, a professional athlete. Whatever his profession, he always arrived home at the same time, dinner cooked, the children dressed, and his bath drawn.
As I got older, the dream didn't really change. I just realized it was harder to find a husband than I had previously thought.
Now that I had Luca, I was excited for that future. I wanted four children, and the genders didn't matter. I would even adopt one or two if we had the money for it. I would tuck them all in at bed, make sure they were loved, and help them express their interests.
And train them to be Guardians if they inherit that trait.
Oh yeah.
There was that, too. Raising children had to be harder if I was teaching them how to chop demons' heads off. Or trying to get them to control their powers. How did I explain to them that their father was a demon and wouldn't grow older with their mother? Even worse, what if they aged like me and not him, and Luca looked younger than them and outlived them? And if baby Clare or baby Luca inherited mind reading, how could we sneak around and have sex without scarring them?
Luca's phone buzzed, distracting me from my whirling thoughts. Life was a lot different than I had originally planned for it to be. Luca reached over me and grabbed it with a sigh. I guess it was time for us to return to our lives. For real this time.
It had been more than an hour since I had thought about Athena.
Luca answered his phone, but before he could say anything, I heard someone frantically shrieking in the background. She sounded like something terrible was happening, and I had a sinking feeling it had to do with Athena. I tried to make out her words, but all I heard was how could you let her go off by herself you idiot. The rest of it was lost in a string of curse words and high-pitched yelling. Luca hung up without saying anything once the yelling ceased.
"Athena's not in trouble at the moment, but she will be. It's inevitable." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Put some clothes on, I'll try to find my brother."
If he still cared about Athena's whereabouts. He had been pretty harsh to her. It hadn't seemed like he would get over his anger anytime soon.
Luca pulled the blankets from over us. The cold air hit my skin, and I looked down at my legs. There was a bruise on my thigh in the shape of his fingers. Yikes.
"Sloth has other things going on right now," Luca explained, crossing over me. His skin grazed mine in the slightest, sending fireworks. "He's not in his right mind, and it's my fault."
I tilted my head to the side. I needed to be putting on clothes. Athena needed me. It was just hard to shake the lethargy off to move. "How?"
He turned to look at me over his shoulder. He already had some jeans on. "Clare, please hurry. Athena will die if we don't get there soon."
His words were like cold water. It washed the feeling of content sleepiness away. I swung my legs over the bed, heading over to my bag. I had clothes to lounge around in, and then I had clothes meant to protect me from the Missouri winter. "Where is she?"
"A safe place, as long as she stays inside, but Mother is sending an army of demons she's gathered for her as we speak." Luca sounded stressed. I didn't know he cared that much about Athena. He pulled a sweater over his head, taking a deep breath. "Meet me in the kitchen."
The door shut behind him.
I did my best to hurry, but I became clumsy with nerves. Athena could die. Here I was daydreaming about the future, worried about teaching our kids to use our powers, and Athena's life was about to end.
An army of demons.
Would I have to fight them? I wasn't ready for that. I had stabbed Samia, but that was different. I was impassioned. And she had been one person. What did this army consist of? How did we get out of it? How many of us were going to be there?
I shoved my feet into my boots and grabbed a scrunchie. I tied my hair up in a bun as I closed the door behind me, leaving the room scattered with clothes and blankets. Our safe haven wasn't really all that safe, and I had to start reminding myself of that every time I walked in there. You're here to save the world, not to enjoy your boyfriend. I shook the last little bit of Luca off of me, just in time to see Sebastian go flying into the wall.
Luca came stalking forward, and this time his eyes were blazing with anger. "Get it the fuck together, brother," he snarled, his voice unrecognizable. The way his fists clenched, the darkness radiating off of him—was this the same guy that had kissed me a few minutes ago and told me he was in love with me? This guy wasn't gentle at all.
Sebastian stood up, his eyes wild. I gasped at the blood on him. He was covered in it. There were splatters on his face. His shirt was soaked. Dried blood caked onto his arms and underneath his fingernails.
"You have fifteen seconds to get us to Athena before she dies." Luca grabbed Sebastian by the throat, his fingers clenched tight around his neck. "Hillary called me saying she hadn't been able to contact you for three fucking ho—"
They disappeared.
I stumbled back, looking around for them, but the house was empty. I could feel the presence of nobody but myself, and it felt creepy. I pictured Samia coming back through the door, or the army turning paths and heading straight towards me. I called for Truth-seeker, and it came whipping from the living room and into my hand.
There was no way Sebastian had just teleported them away without coming for me. I had to be there, too. Even if I couldn't fight. I couldn't—
"C'mon."
His voice took me by surprise. It was much more lucid than his looks. However, it wasn't the lucidity or the command that took me by surprise. It was the way he appeared right next to me out of thin air. I swung my saber with a loose wrist, yelping. He took a step out of the way, mild annoyance on his features.
Close your eyes.
This command was from Luca, wherever he was. I did as he was told. Sebastian's hand touched my shoulder, and the smell of blood and rust filled my nose. The world shifted from underneath me. Every atom in my body disconnected, and I expected it to hurt, but it didn't. It felt like my whole body had fallen asleep. It was static in my bones. It was also over as soon as it happened. My bones reconnected, the ligament recovered them. My feet settled against solid ground.
The cold air whipped against my face. I was definitely outside.
I opened my eyes.
Wherever we were, it was remote. There was nothing around us but flat land, stretching for miles and miles it seemed. I was on a rickety porch, looking up into a small house that couldn't have had more than three people living in it at once. It was wooden and old. No sound came from in it, and there was no sound around us, but I felt my heart racing in my chest. Something bad was about to happen.
On the left of me, Sebastian faded back, a sword in his hand. Luca held a black saber, one that matched mine. He was to the right of me, leaning against the railings on the porch with a deadly look on his face. I couldn't read his mind or expression, but I knew whatever he was thinking wasn't good. He nodded for me to go in.
I turned behind me. Griffin was leaning against his car, a smile on his face. He waved, friendly. Did anything bother him?
Saber clenched tightly in my hand, I pushed the door open.
The insides were a surprise. It was more modern inside with a fireplace and huge sofas. The walls were painted dark red, and there was a small kitchen to the left of me with nothing but a table big enough for four, a refrigerator, and a stove. The pantry was open and fully stocked. There was a closed-off room next to it that was obviously a bathroom.
Sitting by the fireplace, though, was Athena. She had a red journal open, but she wasn't reading it. Not anymore. Instead, she was staring straight ahead into the fire. I couldn't see her expression because her back was to me.
"There are Guardian safe places in every state," Athena stated, breaking the silence. She turned around, patting the seat next to me. "Anybody who isn't a Guardian can't enter. They can barely even see it. Samia said even Mother wouldn't know we were in this house, just that we were in this area."
I walked over to her, sitting. The feeling that something was wrong was getting stronger. My ears started ringing. "You saw Samia again?"
Athena shrugged. "She saved my life. Demons attacked my car. She pulled me out before it exploded. Then she brought me here."
The idea of Samia talking to Athena without me around upset me. Who knew what kind of stories and lies she put in her head? What if she had convinced Athena to kill her? "Where is she now?"
She shrugged again. "No idea. She left when I told her to piss off. I have no intentions on killing her. For my own sake." She closed the journal, stuffing it into a backpack next to her. "You hear that?"
Yes, I did. Behind the ringing was pain. It was in my head. In my body. It was like I was hearing the souls of the—
"—damned," Athena said suddenly. "It sounds like the damned are screaming in my ear."
That couldn't be good. "There's an army of Mother's demons coming this way. We need to go now."
At first, Athena didn't move. She stayed completely still, eyes closed. She inhaled deeply, exhaling very slowly. "It's too late." As soon as she said it, I knew. There was no way to get out of here.
The minute we stepped on that porch, we would be putting our lives at stake. We couldn't—wouldn't—leave the boys to fend for themselves. If we stayed inside, we would just be waiting for the rest of our lives.
My stomach slipped to my feet. Something rose in my throat, and I pushed it back. Sebastian could teleport us there and back—but if he did, he would be leaving Griffin and Luca defenseless.
"So what now?" I asked, my heart squeezing in my chest. She was going to say fight. We had to fight.
The world rested in our hands.
She grabbed my hand. Hers were warm and a little rough. "We kick ass. Take a few names." Her voice screamed with false bravado.
I decided to adopt that same pretend bravery, even if it didn't help me out there during the fight. I knew little to nothing. I wasn't ready. I couldn't even take a punch from Athena. I didn't even know what my power was. "Mama ain't raise no bitch."
We laughed. She squeezed my hand once before letting it go. "Sorry about this, I was—"
The ground rumbled. Jesus, it sounded like damn near a thousand demons out there.
I appreciated the apology, but it was too late. "I really wish you had just answered my texts."
She didn't even look at me. For the second time, we opened the door. This time, though, instead of Samia, we were greeted by demons. "Huh. This is better than I expected. It sounded like a thousand, but this is a little more than a hundred."
"There's five of us."
"Griffin can multiple himself up to twenty times without breaking a sweat."
I still didn't like our chances.
Griffin had, indeed multiple himself. Eight of him surrounded the porch. Luca and Sebastian were on the outskirts of the porch, sabers held in front of them. At the sound of the door opening, Sebastian turned his head.
So many emotions flickered across his face before he settled for panic.
Sebastian really did love her. Why he hadn't said anything yet was beyond me. The look on his face right now, though, was one I recognized. He knew our chances weren't good. He would give his last breath to protecting her.
"Get back inside," he yelled, causing the demons to look at us. They were big and hideous, some small and ugly. They grinned, feet stamping as they prepared to charge. They had no weapons.
I could do this. I could kick some demon butt.
No I couldn't.
You have to, Samuel said, his voice coming from my saber to me.
I had him to help me. I swallowed, even though my throat was dry. This was it. This was what Guardians were made of.
Athena simply smiled. "We're not at your house."
With that, she took a running leap off the porch. She vaulted herself over Griffin, and as she came down, the saber swung in the perfect arc. It caught a demon in the side of the neck and sliced right through. Its head slid right off, landing on the ground at the same time as her.
I was terrified, but I did what my ancestors had done before me countless times and joined the fight.