I had made an executive decision, and maybe it wasn't the smartest decision, but I knew something had to be done besides sitting around running circles around conversations to come to the same conclusion: no one knew who Mother was, and we wouldn't be figuring it out any time soon.
What little I knew of Mother was that she liked to gloat. She loved herself, and, like most evil villains, maybe she'd slip up and say something that alerted us to who she was. Anything was better than what we had going on. We needed to draw her out, and the best way to do that was to get one of us alone. Since Luca wouldn't leave Clare's side, the best thing to do was for me to leave.
I hadn't accounted for Sebastian's blow up at me, but, truthfully, it came at a perfect time. Knowing Hillary would see it and send someone, I awaited patiently for everyone to arrive.
That being said, if everybody collectively decided to get together and beat my ass instead of the demons, I wouldn't have even tried to stop it. I didn't expect them to understand. Not Luca, who would hate me for putting Clare in danger, and not Sebastian who, despite his harsh words, would miss me if I was gone. Maybe Griffin, with his reckless abandon, would agree with me. Then again, if Griffin agreed with me, I knew I had done something wrong.
Of course, the minute I had made up my mind to go to this place, Hillary had called me yelling. My mind refused to be changed because, one, I couldn't stand being in the same house as Sebastian, and two, I had been caged for so long I itched to do something. I was tired of hiding. It was either this or take on the demons by myself.
There were really two options according to Hillary: meet Mother when she wanted and die, or we do things on our own terms and die. I didn't like dying, but at least if it happened, I would die on my own damn terms.
I just didn't think about sacrificing my friends as well.
If worst came to worst, I would sacrifice myself for them.
I hoped it wouldn't come to that.
The area around us was chaos, and a tremendous amount of blood already stained the snow. Two Griffins whirled around in the snow, machetes in hand. He moved sloppy, like he didn't fight often, but he was still getting work done. The other six of him were fighting with their bare hands, throwing punches and twisting heads off of demons.
The plan was for me and Clare to not touch a single demon, but that time had been gone. At least for me. I had already killed one, propelled forward by the urge to not die. Immediately after, Luca had grabbed me by my shirt and thrown me backwards even before I could fully stand up. The command was obvious: keep your ass in the house and away from the fight.
I probably had a death wish because that wasn't an option, especially once Clare came charging in behind me.
Only minutes after leaving the house, Mother had sent a demon my way to run me off the road. Even though I expected it, my car had flipped two or three times, scaring me. I had waited for Samia, who Hillary had warned me was still lurking around. She wanted to get me alone so she could ask me about killing her again, thinking my mind would change because my friends were no longer around. As if. I had no intentions on killing her; if the Angels had decided she needed punishment, who was I to go behind their backs?
Samia saved my life, and while I was here, she taught me the basics of using my powers.
"Athena, help!" Clare yelled.
She was so unprepared for this battle, but a few minutes in, and we weren't dead. It was more than I could've asked for.
Our backs were to each other, a natural instinct as we took on the demons surrounding us. There was Big Slimy with mucus running down his skin. He was slow but strong and an expert at dodging sabers. There were three identical demons, all with horns coming out of their heads and missing teeth. They cracked their knuckles, the skin splitting and growing back. They could heal quickly. Wonderful.
"Dude, I have four of my own to deal with. Handle it." Because she could. We had to.
She whimpered and shook behind me. Luca couldn't even help because he was surrounded by demons himself, and I couldn't even think to look for Sebastian. "I'm not—"
"You're a Guardian," I snapped. "So guard."
As if it were that easy. As if I wasn't terrified myself.
She didn't answer me, but her back stiffened, so I figured she had gotten a little more balls under her belt.
I waited for a beat more, just enough for her to take a shuddery breath before attacking. The thing about most demons was that they liked the thrill of chasing more than the actual fight. They wanted to breathe in your fear as long as they could before they attacked. They fed on emotions. Unless they were in a hurry, or you were a dangerous opponent, they gave you time to be afraid.
Good thing they underestimated you, my ancestor said, her voice charged in my head. It was her that had convinced me to jump off the porch, her that told me Guardians had few physical limitations, and if I only tried hard enough, I could be just as strong as my opponent. She was a fighter—energetic and edgy, dangerous but not stupid like Samia. She had a different power than me; they used to call her "Earthshaker," but she still knew how to fight.
I went for the big three first, swinging my saber at them.
I always expected my first real fight to be a rush of adrenaline and power. I thought I'd be ready and capable and damn near flawless. I'd leave with a cut, maybe a bruise or battle scar I could one day tell my children about. I would be grinning after, a little tired but mostly dirty and covered in my opponent's blood. Instead, I got knocked on my butt with the fist swing.
I sunk into the ice. The chill seeped into my bones.
I had no adrenaline, just a cold fear that death had a foot in my door. The past few weeks, I thought death had a foot in the store, but, turns out, it was just knocking. Hillary had warned me to that I could, that my chance for survival was small at best. One move, one wrong breath, and Mother would rise. It was a risk I had been willing to take.
At the time.
The big three converged at once, swinging fists at me. I rolled out of the way, towards Clare, watching their fists hit the ice. They roared, stupid and too slow. No physical limitations, I thought, trying to get back on my feet without losing my grounding in the fight or asking Clare for help. Clare.
Huh?
Her response was in my head as if she had spoken aloud. Surprised, I almost turned my head to see, but that would've been a death wish for sure. I needed to make sure was okay, though. I could barely hear her due to the incessant rumbling of feet on the ground, the sound of flesh against flesh, and the thuds of body parts hitting the snow.
No one had prepped me for the sick sound of battle—the screams and grunts, the whistling noise as some of the demons went poof. The silence behind it, too. In movies, battles always had music behind them. During a battle, though, no one orchestrated soundtrack to make you feel badass or pump you up. It was just you and the sounds of fighting. Maybe a bird or two trilling in the background.
Clumsy, you're too clumsy. Get up.
My ancestor all but shouted the words at me, even as her mental voice remained calm and steady. I swung my saber up, catching the hand of one of the big three. Three fingers sliced off, but the hand remained halfway attached. It roared in pain, stepping back with red eyes. I took the second to push myself up, but, between the snow around my feet, and Big Slimy throwing a punch at me, I was taken off balance. I brought my saber up to my face to protect myself, and he hit it, knocking it away easily.
I swore, stumbling back into Clare.
The power I had, I didn't want. The only other person to ever have it killed her brother. I didn't want to put Clare at risk. I didn't want to become addicted to taking life. I wanted nothing to do with it. Not using it wasn't possible, though. I read her journal. The years she went without using it meant she lashed out in other ways: yelling at her children, hitting her husband. She was angry and moody. She barely enjoyed life. The power sat coiled in her stomach, waiting to be unleashed. The longer it stayed, the worse she felt. And when Samia finally used her power, she couldn't control it.
This situation had no winning outcome.
But it was a relatively easy power to possess if you knew what to look for. The key was finding the life force. When we looked at someone, we could see it underneath their veins. It was white for Guardians, black for demons, green for humans, and blue for animals. It had taken me only a second or two to find it. Once I had, it hadn't taken much for me to take it. It was like siphoning gas or taking syrup from a tree. Putting my hand under a faucet and changing the course of the water. Just a small amount had exhilarated me. Made me feel powerful.
It scared me. I refused to do it again.
Clare pitched forward, and I heard a gasp. Her saber had gone through the heart of a demon. I didn't see it, but I felt it. I felt her elbow come back as she removed it. She didn't take another second to think about it, though, she just kept going. Like I needed to.
I got up again, wishing I had something on me besides the small pocket knife I had stuck into my hoodie before leaving home. I raised my fists in front of me, waiting. They all laughed, knowing they had me beat.
I dodged. I ducked. I made sure to stay out of the way of their fists. If they got me, I was as good as gone. Not getting hit was something I was excellent at. I used to hate when Sebastian and Griffin converged to use me as a punching bag, but I learned quickly how to move out of their way, as well as get some hits off myself.
The demons were not as formally trained as those two, though. I grabbed the fist of one of them, stopping it mid-swing. I brought my knee up between its leg—demons had genders, and I wasn't quite sure what this one was, but a knee to the crotch hurt anybody—and danced out of the way. It went down with a groan. I needed my saber. Or my knife. I was not strong enough to choke them to death.
Clare shrieked.
On instinct, I turned. One of the demons—a tall, bony one that was apparently way stronger than it looked—had her in a headlock. Huge fangs hung from its mouth. Out the corner of my eye, I saw Luca turn in horror. A demon leaped at him, but he didn't see it. One of the Griffins ran to us.
I turned my back to the demons after me. Stupid, stupid, I thought, helping my cousin anyway. I grabbed the pocket knife, flipping it out and charging at her. I wouldn't make it in time. I focused on its neck, knowing this was the only chance I had to save her. Praying for precision, I threw the knife. It sailed through the air, but I didn't have time to see if it connected with its target or if I had killed my cousin because I felt an arm around my waist.
Oh, shit.
I wriggled, but Big Slimy was entirely too strong for me. His mucous skin slid against my skin. Trespasser, I thought, sticking an arm out. My saber was about three feet away. It trembled in the snow but wasted no time flying to me. Ahead of me, my knife had found its intended target. It had pierced the demon in the neck, sending blood spurting out on Clare. She was on the ground, choking for air, and the other demons were converging on her. "Clare, get up!" I yelled, just as my fingers clenched around my saber.
Big Slimy must've been too stupid to get out of the way.
Clare turned over on her back, her neck red where she had been held. Luca was trying to get at her, his saber swinging through the air, but there was nothing he could do without getting himself killed in the process. One of the Griffins was almost to us, but he got distracted by a demon plowing into the side of him. We were by ourselves over here.
I brought my saber straight down. It hit his arm, slicing through. I brought it back up with a yell, this time aiming a little to the side. I sliced midway through his arm, just enough to get him to let me go. I landed in the snow, whirled around, and pushed my saber right through his heart.
Athena, you to have a bond the other Guardians don't. My ancestor was frantic. Clare was covered in the demons now. You might not be twins, but it still runs between you. Feel the bond. Give Clare what she needs.
Lifeforce? I could only take it away.
I advanced forward, knowing my cousin was terrified, knowing we had ten more demons heading our way. So many were already dead on the battlefield. Clare was underneath the three of them, hands over her face. The fear she radiated was harder to cut through than the demons surrounding her.
"Clare, I'm here," I said. She wouldn't die. Not if it was a choice between me and her. I cut the head off one of the big three, who were so engulfed in getting to her, they hadn't noticed me yet. "Fight, Clare, you have to fight."
My voice was quiet. She shouldn't have heard me, but weirder things had happened. The body of the big three rolled off to the side before disappearing.
Clare whimpered. I can't. I could hear her stream of thoughts. She was panicking. Afraid. She wanted Luca. She didn't want to die. She had come close to death twice in the past three days. There were too many demons. Even if she survived now, our chances didn't look good. We could barely handle this many.
"Luca needs you," I told her, facing off the last of the big three. It stood in front of me, arms spread, ready for war. I stood my ground. It wouldn't be pushing me back into the oncoming demons. It wouldn't be making it any farther than us. "If you won't get up for you, get up for him."
A pause.
The demon charged at me. I moved out of the way of its grab. Crouched, I swung the saber at its knees. It pitched forward, screaming as its legs were cut off. I dove to the side, watching it fall.
An explosion of light went off behind us. The demon on Clare went flying through the air, limbs flailing. I wanted to watch it, but I had a job to do. Focus is the hardest part of the battle, Griffin had told me, while he surfed through a magazine as I fought his replicas. You'll want to see every ooh and ahh out there, but it can cost you your life.
I brought the saber down into the chest of the demon. Blood bubbled from its mouth before its eyes went blank. Big Slimy was charging back at Clare, sans his arms, and she was struggling to get up. We didn't need to do anything, though. A knife lodged into the demon's back, courtesy of Griffin, who gave me a small nod before disappearing back into the fray.
We had a second to breathe, just a second. I grabbed Clare's hand, pulling her up. A fire ripped through my veins, sudden and white-hot. I gasped, almost pulling away from her, but she kept her hand tight on mine.
"Do you feel that?" Clare gasped.
Yes. It felt like being burned alive. I could feel the fire spreading from my veins to my saber. Oh my God. The pain was unending, unyielding. It burned through me like my blood was made of gas.
When the disciples James and John saw this, they asked, "Lord, do you want us to call fire down from Heaven to destroy them?
The verse, Luke 9:54, came to me as suddenly as the fire did.
I stumbled back when the fire reached its hottest, when I felt my skin fall off my bones, my organs burn to ashes. Everything stopped in front of me as if I fell asleep. A white tinge, almost like a filter, covered my eyes like a haze. There was no more snow in front of me, no more demons, just the image of seven people standing there, all of them with the ghosts of angel wings behind them.
I recognized myself and Clare, holding our sabers in front of us, hair pulled back in identical braids. We wore matching black outfits, a baby blue sash tied around our waists. Our sabers blazed, the gems glowing.
On the side of me was another girl, my height with bright red hair flowing in tresses down her back. She had a red bandana tied around her arms, and her skin was a flawless dark brown. She had narrowed eyes, a sword with a small flame coming from the side, and a look that said she was ready to kill anything her way. On the other side of her was a slender girl, taller than me but shorter than Clare. Her chestnut brown hair was pulled into a ponytail, the machete in her hands glowed like our sabers, and she had a pink shirt, purple sash around her waist. Her eyes were a gray-brown, and her face was soft and oval.
I tried to see the rest of them, but I couldn't hold on to the image. Something was pulling me away from the image, toward the gray sky screaming with the thunder. The ground crackled, splitting open, and they came—thousands of them, all scary and big, small and nonthreatening. They had big eyes and large noses, no eyes and small mouths. Behind them was a woman, but I only saw her legs, long and tan. She was barefoot, and there was a dress that stopped at her knees.
"Kill the bitch with fire for what she did to me," the redhead growled. The flame on her sword grew. I knew what she did to her, something about possessing.
We all prepared ourselves for the fight.
But then they came. The boys, led by a tall woman with wild curls and brown skin, beautiful and exquisite looking. She wore a flowing red dress and an angry expression on her face. Behind her was Sebastian and Luca, Griffin, too, although he looked worn down and more reserved than he was now.
I made eye contact with Sebastian, wanted to tell him something, but another voice spoke. It was lighter, but it sounded exactly like the thunder in the sky and the ground split open. "Mother has arrived, darlings."
The world returned to me suddenly, the fire gone.
Clare shivered. "Did you see that?"
Yes. But what did it mean for us and right now? What did it mean in general? The people were obvious—the seven virtues and the seven sins—but what did it all mean? Was it the future? Was it a glimpse at what could be? When did I start having visions? Did it have something to do with me and Clare?
And how did the bible verse tie into it?
I pushed the thoughts from my head as energy coursed through me, renewing my tired muscles. No physical limitations, my ancestor crowed from my saber, ready for the fight.
"C'mon, we got ass to kick."
Clare had my back as the demons charged. I could feel every move she did and even the ones she was about to do. We moved in tandem, our sabers slicing and dicing through the air with speed and precision.
I was charged up, and every time I sent one of those demons falling to the ground in agony, I felt even better.
But they were too much.
The demons kept coming, and the energy ran out. Clare got hit, and she went one way while her saber went the other. She slid on the ice and laid there, leaving me to fight by myself.
Five of them converged on me, and no amount of hitting them with my saber helped. I felt a fist in my side. I doubled over, pain shooting up my side. I grunted, wrapping my arms around my torso as another fist hit me. This one connected with my mouth.
The blood tasted like salt and rust, but it didn't smell like it tasted.
I groaned.
We were getting our asses handed to us, and the slim chance had flown out of the window. I had to sacrifice myself.
With the demons clamoring over who got to bring me back to Mother in the Underworld, it gave me a chance to focus on them. I studied them like Samia had taught me, looking past their physical being and instead focusing on the metaphysical. I could barely see it, their life force. It was like a shadow, shifting in and out of my vision. But I saw it long enough to focus on it.
C'mon, Athena , you got this…
That was Luca. He sounded tired.
Blood slid down the side of my mouth. I had to use my power. I didn't want to. What if I became addicted to it? I hadn't even practiced enough.
Do it, Athena . Please. We're dying here.
I caught the edge of it on the demon closest to me. I pulled it toward me, picturing his life force entering me and leaving him. He sunk to his knees, collapsing with his hand around his neck, begging for breath. The pain in my stomach slowly went away. I kept pulling, tugging slowly until there was nothing left.
The rush.
It wasn't painful like the fire, nor was it as fun as the rush I got from fighting with Clare. This was something else. It was warm and slow, going through my body like whiskey. The other demons looked around, confused.
Could I do all three at once?
Just weaken them. Sebastian is coming.
Sebastian.
I took them down by one by one, weakening them enough that when Sebastian appeared in front of me, bloodied and battered, all he had to do was chop their heads off. They didn't have a fighting chance.
"We survived another five minutes," I told him, taking his hand and letting him pull me up. He had a deep gash on his chest that worried me. A quick survey told me there were more than thirty demons left. We were down to two Griffins. Luca was standing in front of Clare, a sword held in front of him. The way his other arm hung made me think it was broken. Clare was down for the count, throwing up in the snow next to her.
We didn't look like a good bunch.
Sebastian tightened his fingers on mine. "Let's try to make it through the next five," he muttered grimly. His grip was weaker than what I was used to. "I don't have much energy left."
Neither did I.
He released my hand and turned to the fight. His chest rose and fall. I had seen him use his power before, lifting demons like this into the air.
The demons all stopped what they were doing and flew into the air.
"I can only hold it a few seconds!" he groaned through clenched teeth.
I found the remaining life force of a dying demon and took it, just enough to fill my body with that whiskey feel. I ran toward them, but by the time I got there, they were moving at regular speed again. I catapulted myself at one of them, knocking him sideways. He growled. We tumbled together in the snow, rolling over each other until we came to a stop at the feet of another demon.
The demon behind me fell, taken out by a multiple of Griffin. The one laying next to me grabbed my ankle, pulling me to him. I dug my fingers into the ice, but it did no good. He pulled, sharp claws ready to cut me open. I looked up into Sebastian's worried eyes just before he fell over, preparing myself to—
The grip on my ankle slackened. The demons stopped. And then they fell.
I dropped my face into the snow with a sigh. A slim chance in hell had arrived.
You'll owe her. Luca sounded relieved, though.
I knew I would. Hillary had known it, too, which was why I had taken the chance. She would do anything for a favor from me.
"That was a piss poor use of your power, Athena," Samia said, her footsteps silent in the snow. "You five should get home before she sends the next wave."
The only upside to my power was that it offered quick healing. Minutes after getting home, Sebastian had loaned me some of his own life force to heal my wounds, which included, but were not limited to, a few nasty cuts, more than a fair amount of dark bruises, and a bruised rib. I hadn't trusted myself to stop, so I had made Luca watch over me, ready to stop me at a moment's notice, but it wasn't necessary. I took only enough to heal myself before bolting upstairs to pull a Clare and throw up everything.
I had put us all in danger and learned absolutely nothing from it except Mother had an army, which we knew about.
The past two hours I had been laying in Sebastian's bed, alternating between wanting him to come up here to hold me and wallowing in stupidity. It had been a high stake, low reward risk. Surprisingly no one had come to drag me out of the room by my hair and stab me or anything. Probably because Clare and Luca had fallen asleep thirty minutes after they arrived, and Griffin was in the kitchen with Sebastian. I had no idea what they were talking about, and I didn't think I cared.
What if Sebastian had died?
How could I live with myself? How could I live without him at all?
My phone lit up with a text from Hillary. Don't need to be a psychic to see you're going to be throwing a pity party for the next ten hours. Get up and get something to eat.
I didn't feel like eating. I was starving, yes, but getting up required facing the music. It required removing myself from this space, which I hadn't even done to pee.
She sent another text. You're being dramatic. You made the right decision. Do you know how many stupid decisions Sebastian made? You just didn't know about them.
Didn't matter. He hadn't involved me in any of them. My life was never at stake because of his stupid decisions. I had involved four other people. All because I thought I knew what the right decision was.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
I judged Samia for the same thing I did, except worse. I put four people in danger, she just had put one.
Well, I'll be over bright and early tomorrow morning, okay?
I finally responded to the last text. Call me when you're on the way.
She sent me a heart, and I put my phone back down and returned to staring blankly at the wall. More voices had joined Sebastian and Griffin downstairs. A girl's laughter. It was time for me to go downstairs. Eventually, I would have to see everybody, know that they were—
The door opened.
I knew without knowing it was Sebastian. Luca and Griffin wouldn't come in here, and Clare would've been wherever Luca was. I didn't bother to turn my head. I couldn't look him in his eyes if he was going to yell at my again.
"I brought you food." Sebastian's voice was light, as if we hadn't just all somewhat recovered from nearly dying. He didn't sound mad at me anymore. "Everybody else is downstairs."
"I'm not hungry." The thought of eating made my stomach turn. I didn't deserve to eat. I didn't deserve to hold Trespasser or use it. I should've been stripped of my Guardian title for my stupidity. I was sure endangering the lives of others broke a rule.
He sat on the bed. "Then you should at least come downstairs with us."
No. "I'm okay."
Sebastian placed the soup down and laid next to me. He stretched out on his back, arms folded at his side. That was how he slept, and I had always thought it was super weird. "Well, then we can stay here together."
So we did.
I wasn't sure how long he stayed there, but I knew it was long enough for the guilty ache in my heart to fade away. He was quiet, but not his usual Sebastian quiet, but more of a thoughtful quiet.
"Athena, I have a question."
"What's up?"
"What happened after Samia left?" He sounded like he was going into a panic. "I don't remember anything except being in the middle of the battle."