"you want to go out to McDonald's? Later tonight, I need to talk to you" the familiar voice on the other end of the line says, I can't help but smile at the fact that Toby physically hurt me, and now he needs me again, what happened? Tony ain't taking his calls? Bullshit.
"10, be there, no later than that" my hand traces over the red end call button for a few seconds after I say that, but after a while, I gather the courage to end that call. My head hurts, and all I want to do is to lay back on my bed and stay here forever, but it's 7, and I need to start packing my bag for the club, which should be the longest two hours of my life.
"Dom, could you come downstairs for a minute," Faye screams from downstairs just as I was getting up to pack my stuff, I guess I have no choice but to go see what she wants. I silently drag myself out of my room, I don't want to, but it's life, unfortunately. My foot floats over the last step for a minute before putting my foot down, I feel dizzy when I do, like my head is heavy yet light at the same time.
"yeah?" I gather the strength to say, she turns to look at me, taking her eyes off Devante for a minute, "you look sick" she says, placing her hand on my forehead and cheek the same way mommy used to, before she up and left. "I fine, Fayola. Now what do you want" she looks shaken by my choice of words, almost like she's scared, "what are you doing later tonight?" she breaks the awkward silence, "I'm going out to McDonald's with Toby and then I have my shift" I respond, she turns at the mention of Toby, "Dom, stay away from DeAndre, trust me, just please stay away from him"
"why?" my curious side gets the better of me, "just, stay away from him baby," after her refusal to answer me, I decide to head back upstairs to pack my bags.
My red lingerie is already in my bag, something I pack often, my favorite. I smile at the thought that I, Dominique Imani Pierre, works in a strip club to make money, who would've ever thought that would be me.
After about 10 minutes of packing, I head downstairs to grab a quick sandwich on my way out, and before I know it, I'm out on the road. I treat the walk on the way to the club like therapy, for me, like a way to dig deep inside of me. Often times I have things to think about when I'm walking to the club or work, but this time i don't, this time there's nothing but a deep dark void, almost like i don't exist in this very moment. I feel distant from myself and my surroundings, the cars and people around me are clearly making a noise, but that's not in my head at all, I can't think straight, my pain outlet is broken.
But before I know it, the big pink sign is there flashing in front of me, 'New York Dolls' I always walk through the back door, but I have to especially do that today, it seems packed. "Hey girl" my club friend Dime says as soon as I enter, she has her special lingerie on, looking good as always. "hey, what's good y'all" everyone says hi and gives a hug, and we all change and go on stage.
I take a look in the mirror before heading out, remembering that I am beautiful, and I am a queen, and this is temporary, this feeling, it's temporary, everything is.
The noise in the club hits me as soon as I walk out, but that doesn't distract me from getting to work, I hear screams, and moans and drunk squabbles, but that's not my focus, my focus is the pole. I start off with the simple ones, which in stripping there's no simplicity, but you get my point. I grab the pole and begin to squat twerk on it, the smell and sound of money hitting the floor and my lingerie keeps me going, it's loud cheers in the crowd and clapping and chanting my state name that keep me going.
I grab onto the pole with my legs and start twerking upside down, letting all the money being thrown fall down by butt, changing my position often. Today seems like a great night for me, after my performance, I head down and walk offstage, needing a water break. "Hey Senorita" Chanelica calls me out by my stage name from behind her locker, "the ,manager wants you to give old rookey a lap dance" old rookey is what we call my regular customer, so immediately when she says that, I know who I'm dealing with.
After an extensive lap dance in the V.I.P section with old rookey, I'm heading out of the club with over eight thousand dollars, get into it miss ma'am. There are showers in the club, so I'm not heading to McDonald's in all that musty club sweat, of course. Time for what I've been dreading almost all day, time to talk to Toby.
On the way to McDonald's, that empty void still exists in my mind, I still feel empty, I still feel nothing. The bell rings when I open the door, taking DeAndre's attention off the front till and onto me, he looks at me for a while like he's taking me in, but after a while he looks back at his customer at the till. I make an order, and then make my way to where I know Toby is sitting.
"you look beautiful" he says, he fixes his eyes on me for a while, and then stands up for me to sit on the far end of the booth, but I don't, instead I sit on the opposite end of the booth, making sure to be as far from him as I can. "thank you sir" I place my hands comfortably on the table, looking around the restaurant. I don't look around the restaurant because I don't know how it looks, I work here for goodness sake, I'm looking around because Toby makes me feel uncomfortable.
"Dom, look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you and I was wrong, I'm sorry" he shifts closer, placing his hand over mine, and for once, for the first time since I met him, I can see through him, I can feel how he feels, I feel connected to him on some level. "I don't care about you hurting me, you hurt Tony, do you know how he's been? Have you even TRIED to talk to him?" he looks me in my eyes, an answer that no words could ever describe, he didn't talk to Tony.
DeAndre brings our food, he's not the waiter that I ordered with, but I'm just glad my food is here, and seeing DeAndre is never a bad thing. He places the food on the table before planting a kiss on my cheek and giving Toby a warning look. My head feels heavy again, I feel lightheaded, I feel dizzy, it's an extremely numb pain. I can't see anymore, it's dark, "Dom!! Dom Wake up! Are you ok??"