He unclasped his seat belts before he spoke again. "Take it fast. I ordered Mrs. Marta to cook for your dinner. I have something to do so I'll be home late tonight."
He stopped the engine and pulled out his phone before starting to type something again.
That is his usual line everytime we went on a day like this. A day where he had to forcefully join me anywhere. I really doubt it earlier when he said he would offer me a ride to the ice cream shop. It took me several minutes to believe him until he finally moved to get his car.
"Would you not ask me about my studies?" I asked, hopeful.
His brows immediately furrowed and his face was enveloped with curiosity.
"What's the point of asking you when I already know? Your professors are giving you a lot of praises everytime I would get your report card."
I nodded with a sign of defeat.
"Where are you going?"
"Conference." He's busy typing again on his phone.
I nodded again even if he did not see it. I really wish I was his cellphone. So I won't ever wonder what would it feels to have him staring at me all the time.
"I'll leave now." he raised his head after a short while of typing, so I immediately averted my gaze at him.
"Sure."
"Yeah... You can go now." he eyed me again as if I did something very stupidly.
Oh!
I immediately held the door handle before awkwardly going outside his car. I stood right beside the window while placing both of my hands at my back.
"What time will you come back?" I asked cowardly.
"I don't know."
I pouted. I diverted my stare at the grass where I am standing when I get dazzled by a flash. I looked up to him and saw that he was holding his cellphone and it was faced in me.
"Stop doing that face. It doesn't suit you."
He then rudely maneuvered his car as fast as it can without saying goodbye to me. I can't help but be stunned.
I saw it...
He smiled...
Is this really a dream? He talked to me this day for over a hundred words! And now he took a picture of me!
If this is really a dream, everybody please do not wake me up... ever.
"Iris!"
Mrs. Martha called me in a loud searing voice while walking through our patio. She was holding a bouquet of pink freshly arranged flowers with a wide smile of her face.
My smile immediately faded.
"There's an--"
"From?" I cut her off.
I checked the small card underneath the flowers and saw a name, "Larry", with a message saying, "Hope we could meet soon."
I am already used to receive flowers every time. Mrs. Martha feels very happy that my beauty admires hundreds of men from school while I don't feel anything at all. She would gladly receive all of it because I told her not to reject gifts from those who really gave their effort searching for my house.
A normal woman would feel blessed that she could have to see men flocking over her just to give their gifts and show her their admiration but I don't really know why I don't feel that.
Or maybe I would feel it if only I would not be crushed down by someone I have keep on knocking for a very long time.
Maybe I would feel something If he's not just shutting me out of his own world...
"Let's get inside. Dion told me to cook for you. That child... He's really hardworking. He did not even think to stop over for a quick dinner." Mrs. Martha headed back to the front door without even asking.
I remained quiet for a long time standing on the patio while holding the flowers she gave me.
Indeed, he's very hardworking. When I was still in highschool, I always see him with my father crossing every part of the mansion talking to each other about work. Now, I can barely see him even just for a day.
He's so busy that he already forgets about me. Not that I want his attention... And as if I could even ask for it.
He would leave when he wants to and he would stay if he wants to. There is no exact hint of everything.
I always remind myself to just do as he says. Don't even complain about it. Just go with whatever it is. Because I don't have a choice.
I am used to it even if it is very tiring. He has so much to do. He does not allow special treatment because for him, no one is special. Whether I ask for his attention or not, he would only forbid me.
How did I know?
I just though it would only be embarrassing just thinking about what he would say like,
"I'm already here every Sunday."
"Study hard. You need to help me with the firm."
"Stop your nonsense, okay? Take your life seriously."
I just know. As simple as that. I know him too well, and I know myself too well. Also, he doesn't have any obligations or responsibility on me. I'm already old. I can handle myself now. He can have all the time of his life.
He could spare me from his problems and just live far from me, so I will never mind. It just easy. I want him to do it, but he never listened.
It is heartbreaking. But what choice do I have? My father dragged him to this. I am basically the reason why he's dragged to this. He was forced to live with me, so he could have his career and I could keep living.
Do I have a choice? No. And I even if I do, I would only forget it because it doesn't matter to me.
I want him with me.