Why are you looking at me that way? , she asked isolating myself from my thoughts, recurrently they all headed to the same place, .... she
- no, I was just thinking a little about the way the night changes people, I said without thinking a bit about the question
-You know, now I realize something, Alana said, getting up, and walking closer to me.
-what? I asked, nervously from having her so close to her, the closeness of her felt like a beautiful fire burning inside of me.
-You are not paying me a bit of attention, I did not ask you what you thought or if the night looked beautiful, I asked you why you look at me like that, she said, being closer to me even, -if just like that, I have something weird .Ask in a funny way
I took her hand as a first instinct and pulled it towards my body falling on me, her breathing was agitated and her tousled hair on her face brought me memories of all those romantic scenes ever read or seen in a good movie or book, I just smiled, Our faces were a few inches apart and even so we only dedicated those moments to contemplate each other, Alana was a beautiful girl, and not only her physique was dazzling, I could see much further when her eyes shone like the same moon, my mind only repeated in a way unconscious that smile and every detail of her face.
-I'm in love, I suddenly blurted out, removing from my mind, that thought hovering since her body fell on mine, her face was not of surprise or even of fear, I could only see a girl happy to hear some desired words.
- I already knew, tell me Sofia, she said and I just anxiously awaited her next question, but it did not come, suddenly I felt soft lips brush mine, and I could swear that any known flavor could not be compared to her kisses, that sweet aroma of her hair, the perfection of her face and the delicacy of her lips kept me absorbed in that reality, I managed to get out of my ramblings, corresponding that magical moment, with that magical girl, it was a clumsy kiss, and innocent, there was no lust, nor No feeling of evil or passion in hers, only love, tenderness and some fear.
I smiled when we parted for a few seconds but her body was still on mine, I had to confess Alana was as light as a cotton pillow, her body fit perfectly with my hands and the universe was coupled to the scene created by us, every detail was perfect, fortuitous , I considered myself the luckiest and dreamiest girl in the world.
-What do you want to ask me ?. I said returning to our little conversation interrupted by that longed-for kiss, she laughed for a few seconds and turned her gaze from my lips, managing to make me nervous again
- just, I just wanted to know the taste of your kisses, tell me, did you like mine? She said with complete assurance, she did not tremble in any way, there was no doubt in her words, only confidence and security, she loved that about my Alana.
-For that reason you have kissed me, I refute pretending surprise at her action.
- No, I did it because I wanted to, and your eyes told me the same thing, you look at me as if I had the universe in me, it is as if the stars explode and their dust covered me, something new, I like that way of looking, You make me feel loved, desired, unique, I did not think I would find so many things in a single person, and when you see me, then, that cosmos lights up in me, creating thousands of universes in which I all see them with you seeing me in the same way She got up, standing up and giving me her hand to sit up again, I took her and stood up, she seemed to be thinking about her next words, I preferred to keep silent, she did not know it but her words filled my heart with a warm feeling , which I would soon call happiness
- Sofia, life is gray when I'm at home, when I'm in the hospital, when I go to school, when I'm in those boring music classes, I just laughed at that note of hers, she looked at me and laughed with me, - yes I know, you love those classes, to tell the truth I only take them because the others are worse, getting back to the topic let me continue, don't distract me, she said, placing her index finger on my chest and stealing a fleeting kiss from me.
- I'm not sorry for that, he said smiling and continuing with his words, Sofia, since my father committed those frauds and we had to travel here, staying in dirty hotels for his stupid things, until in the end the bank finished off that house that now We call ours, nothing has filled my existence a bit like watching you through the window, it sounds like crazy obsessive, she said, laughing again, managing to get a new smile, - you deviate a lot from the subject, don't laugh anymore, Sofia, although not it seems, I know the smallest details about you, and now that I know the taste of your lips, I have only been left to know your soul, she said smiling and getting nervous, I walk from side to side in that small space.
-Sofia I like you, my mother probably doesn't like you and you know my dad is crazy, she said, making a gesture with her hands indicating what was said. - If the path we traveled takes me back to you, I would endure all those years of indifference, and I would repeat every known place, just to get to California, I'm going to tell you I thought about living in Canada when I came of age; my mother talks a lot From that place, she once said that she dreamed of settling there, but, you know, she does what my father says, she made an adorable gesture with her face like that movie in which an elderly man comes out to scold you for stepping on his garden, she approached and took my hands, brought them to her lips and kissed them, there was no feeling more explosively wonderful and charming.
- Sofia, you are the light of these gray days, and being in the hospital alone, with my mother, I thought a lot about the moment when I would get out of there, and even so my thoughts returned to your words, to each word said , that's why I couldn't bear it; I should see you tonight Jane has been very kind to offer to take care of my mother for a couple of hours while I came to see you, I could not kiss you in the hospital, I was afraid anyone would open the door, but I did not want you to be left with the impression that I want to hide you, or that Do not even think that I will prefer Rigoberto because that will never happen, sofí, look at me, she asked, since I felt so silly about that little scene of jealousy, in the last moments in the hospital, I looked up to find her eyes shining just like that. Shooting Star.
- I need you, every day more, I have nothing more to offer you than a heart full of all those beautiful feelings saved for years, even so I would not hide my situation from you, I just want to know if you are willing to bear it with me, to be by my side because , ... because Sofia I don't want to be that stranger anymore, or wait to see if some other silly girl crosses your path and steals that look that only belongs to me, she said and I didn't let her continue speaking, I needed to kiss her, tell her how much I felt, and there was no better way, at least for me, she was mute, it was much more than I dreamed of.
I waited a long time for these words, I had many dreams that led us to a moment like this, and I have written those dreams one by one in a notebook, Alana I will be here for you, as your friend, as your love, as the girl with whom I want to walk as long as you want, I just want to stay by your side, even if that includes enduring seeing you pretend to be the perfect lady for your dad, I know your reasons and even more I understand them, I admire you and I just wanted to apologize, my mind It is filled with many scenarios of yours and that fool, I have caused unnecessary jealousy without even being something of yours, and that I think has been the worst of all, I do not want to misinterpret my words, the rhythm of our feelings will be only yours, because I have life ready for you, I said this, trying to calm her down, I didn't want to pressure her, In the end my heart belonged to her irrevocably.
- I know, two things, she said, pausing a bit to continue, the first is you should not be jealous of a guy who wears brown pants, with a pink shirt, with blue ankle boots, by God he looks totally ridiculous, and the Second, not having something I can solve right now, but I don't want to take a step without having something to offer you and I would like you to understand it, she said, now there was some sadness in her face.
-Hey! , nothing happens, I already told you we have time, we do not have to rush, we will wait for your mother to get better, and you can go with your grandmother, and then when you reach the age of majority we will go together to that university that you want so much, I will be with you I promise I said raising my little finger, my grandmother used to say that there was no promise, more tender and noble than that, because this preserved the innocence of a child and the wish that an adult be fulfilled.
She intertwined her finger with mine, and gave me one more smile that night, the rest of the night we lay on that bed looking at the stars and taking advantage of the details of the place to talk a little about everything and at the same time about nothing, we just We observed at times because despite knowing the taste of our mouths, there was still some nerves in us, I told hers about my grandparents, about his company, about dad, about uncles Martin and Hector, I told her about my classes and how much I hated the violin, I only took that class to see her for a couple more hours, the night was becoming eternal and I treasured every minute with Alana, it would take a couple of days more to hear from her and now I just longed for another kiss more. Alana could be the rude, unfriendly, and disinterested girl for the world, and I would only continue to see the sweet Alana, the Alana from a few moments ago, the Alana of the universe and the gray days, she would be the inspiration for my life, I knew it although the future was unpredictable I wanted its with her, and the best of all was the reciprocity of those feelings, I could not wait for the days to read a new email, I would count the hours and I just hoped to find a new smile in my sweet girl .