ALANA
I was sitting on the small sofa in the room thinking about my brilliant painter, not long ago our conversation had ended and my mother was already bathed and dressed, now I was just trying to have a conversation with her, while we finished dinner.
- AL, are you even listening to me? Mom asked leaving aside the small slice of pizza and placing it back on the plate on the glass table adorning the room, I really had not heard much, even half of what was said. I stared at her coming out of my trance in Sofia's drawings and smiled at her
- You did not do it, she affirmed, I can ask why? ., I do not want to be reckless daughter, but you have never been so distracted, does something bother you? she said in a concerned tone, trying to keep that warm smile for me.
I put the phone aside, positioning myself better on the couch to look at my mother.
- It's all good, I only saw some pending from the school, I said to reassure her, it was a good excuse after all
- Is something wrong at school? Perhaps you have failed something, we could give you a tutor, you know I want you to go to a good university daughter, my mother said calming her tone of voice, leaving visible her maternal tone, that tone that always accompanied me in every step to take
- No, everything is fine, the classes are going well, you should not worry, remember that you had a heart attack, you need to rest and nothing to have strong impressions. I said taking her hands to convey some peace to her with this act, just as she had done on many occasions
- Okay, you reassure me, your father is so busy with his things, we have neglected you in some way and I feel guilty about it, I am never at home but I am going to leave some of my shifts I am missing your best stage and I want to see your eyes shine when you fall in love, or your tears when your heart breaks, I wish to always be there for you darling, she said caressing my cheek, followed by this she wrapped me in her arms, protecting me from the world, I missed her hugs and peace in her words, mom was always the refuge of our home.
I got out of her arms to look at her again, I wanted to tell her what was happening to me, to get out of that world of lonely happiness to which Sofia and I belonged, and to attach my mother to it, it was not the time I knew it despite that, the moments did not they could wait, and creating one was the best way to end the uncertainty in my chest
- Mom, you remember Sofia, the daughter of the neighbors, those who invited us to welcome dinner. I said starting the conversation, I could notice how her eyebrows rose, her mind had started to work, and my legs began the ritual of nervousness of its giving me away in such a subtle way
-Of course, I will not forget that peculiar dinner, they are very kind to tell the truth and their daughter is quite beautiful and talented, don't you think so? she said, sounding mysterious, I had to suppose she knew, she was a witch when it came to me, she would always take two steps ahead of her.
-"It is, do you know what I'll say? Isn't it? .... I said waiting for her response but we were only accompanied by a long silence." Mom? , I asked again, she was silent, she seemed to think her words very well, and I just needed a quick answer, even if it was negative, I wanted to know her
she got up from the bed, and went to the nightstand, opened the main drawer taking something out of it and returned to her place, again silence flooded us for a few more minutes, until her voice was heard calming down. my racing heart
- Al, I've always known, I knew you would be different, I know how much you hate that boy and I know perfectly well that you do it for me, darling, she handed me a photograph, her hands held mine, leaving the photograph in mine
- If you look at the picture it is you, Alana you were my dream all my life, you will think that being a doctor is what I love the most in life, and you are wrong, you are my greatest dream, my greatest love, do you think about my reaction? truth?. I nodded quickly, adjoiningly waiting for a quick response to this conversation
- Sofia is a wonderful girl, her mother talks a lot about her, and I have seen some sketches they are very good, before saying something you should know "a mother always shows off her children", if that is the reason why you ignore the piza and you leave your mother talking alone smiling like a fool, then I will be happy darling, she said filling my heart with calm, the tears came from my face, those words would be repeated in my mind forever, I stood up and walked towards her , wrapping me again in a hug, wishing it were eternal. she kissed my forehead and hugged me tighter
-I love you mom, it is very important to me, I said getting out of her arms, -she is amazing, you have no idea how much and I wait, have you realized how? , I asked with my mind creating possible answers and feeling ashamed for each of them
- I have seen it, your father also I suppose that is why he is so strict, also I knew it the first day, you have never been interested in talking to someone so much and less have you been rude for not getting his attention, I knew that that girl would be your torment and also your happiness, I just wished you were reciprocated, you have many pictures of her in your room, your notebook is full of them, you also asked me to take classes that are not even to your liking, when she started those same ones, I'm not that stupid, My mother said making me blush, she always knew it, I did not understand much about it, although she agreed with something Sofia managed to get my attention like no one else
- I'm surprised, I said putting my hands on my face, assimilating all the new information. - Don't get me wrong I'm upset because you entered my room without my permission, actually that's not the detail, why did you enter my dark room? You know that no one can enter there, it is my hobby and it is a space of mine, I said, waving my hands in protest, and I continued speaking without letting her utter a new word I had to say it all now- Mom, Dad is disgusting, he does not understand Rigoberto is a disastrous, disrespectful, arrogant boy, besides I am just a business for him, I said angry remembering the annoying situation in which I found myself
- You are not, darling I'll talk to him ... she wanted to explain it again but I interrupted her, it was now or I could never say it
- No, don't try, I know Dad even more than you, because I do see him as he is, and I know that you too. Why do you defend him? , I waved my hands in frustration-listen mom is a bad guy and you and I should go as far away from him as possible, I said hoping not to affect his health with this discussion
-I know, she said, totally surprising me by the tone of her voice, she was no longer my sweet mother, it was a reluctant, resigned, and fearful tone, fear? What? Did he threaten her? . she couldn't be
- Mom ... perhaps, dad. I could not continue because a statement came from her lips, taking a breath to continue
- It is not something new daughter, I do not want it to harm you, we have been through a lot but the obsession with companies, money and having all the power again transformed it, I am not going to leave without you darling but it is not the moment, the Grandma does not need to worry about more now, you and she are my reason to stay, I have gathered evidence all these years by her side, we need something to defend ourselves when the time comes .. I take a breath, relief was noted when saying all this
- Listen to AL, you must do what he says, I did not plan to get sick now and right now your father will only continue pretending to be the usual home man, since we moved here I knew, there are very dangerous people behind all those shady businesses for which we fled for months, and now he has more power than before, I would not want to get you into this but the police can not find out yet, they will ask for evidence and we do not have much, your father is very intelligent he does not leave any trace of the washing of money or fraud in banking movements, every word that came out of her mouth hit me like a wielded boxing glove, dad was all that, so where was I not to notice all this
- You have questions. I know. she said, i was still in shock, and couldn't get words out of my mouth, i processed everything in a meticulous way, who was my father? , we weren't safe anywhere apparently
-Should we pretend not to know anything? , I asked astonishing my mother, but she just smiled and nodded
- That's right, I will not get you into this honey, I'm sorry you have to pretend to go out with that boy or the other problems caused by your father, but I promise we will get out of this together. She smiled again and extended her hand to me as a sign of trust and love, I took her and hugged her again I did not know that I could lose her, and that new reality emerged now with all this
-We will do it, I said to confirm to her mother my participation in all this, she would not leave her alone, not now
- You must forget everything I have told you, okay? She said she didn't understand her question-don't make faces at me Al, I mean you shouldn't tell anyone, not even Sofia, it's better not to involve anyone else, do you understand? Now I understood her reasons, I was afraid her eyes told me everything, I was also afraid, in my mind I still did not fit the pieces of the man I called father
- Okay, I'll trust you, changing the subject, mom, could you accompany me to the store tomorrow? I want a new phone, one not synced with potato's cyber gorillas I said and my mother laughed instantly
- Of course, we will go tomorrow at dawn, we will pretend to go for some clothes, but you must buy something smaller and that you can hide easily, it will help us to call grandmother, if it helps you my phones also have that little detail, something for which I don't use much, she said, fitting the pieces of many questions stuck in me for years
- Then I think we should sleep, tomorrow we will go for it, and mom .. I said to turn to see her again I needed to say it for me, for her, for everything in general
- We will be fine, I know, you are brave, I love you, I said and finally she nodded and went to bed, without a doubt it had been a long day with many surprises, and the best of all was Sofia, and now I would only spend hours observing that sketch until falling into a deep sleep