-you believe in me?. she asked, her hair rested on my back, her chin occupied a place on my neck, I felt her breathing calm as the seconds passed, her lips never felt so warm, I never wanted words as much as those, and there I was wishing have an answer to your question did you believe in it?
-yes, I answered in a monosyllable, still with her arms around my waist and turning my back to the girl of my most utopian dreams
from her hands rested on me, turning to meet her face and the ocean in her eyes
-Why don't you look at me the same? From here I can feel your little mind going around in circles and I feel like I'm the cause of it, Sofia didn't travel from so far not to see the sparkle in your eyes, although I'll be honest, I always believed That when I return I would have to see you with someone else and despite that my mind does not assimilate it. I am selfish Sofia, I would not bear losing you even if I am losing myself in the process. Her fingers ran across my face from my nose to my lips leaving small caresses on him, I could see in his eyes the desire for closeness, I could feel Alana, how long would it be this time?
I walked away breaking all kinds of contact between our bodies, my skin burned, the sensation of her hands burned, her caresses, I would start to hate her perfume or the lies from her mouth or maybe I would love all of it.
-I think it was a mistake to come, I'm sorry, Sofia, you have your life and I must stop interfering in it, right? , her voice broke with the last syllables, I couldn't see him, she knew my weaknesses, and she was all together
I held her arm before continuing on your way to the entrance, I took her in my arms and finally kissed her, I kissed her like never and at the same time as always, it was just how her kisses used to be, her cherry flavor, her tenderness and passion in them . I kissed her because she wanted it, I kissed her because my body could explode in a matter of seconds, if her body remained distant from mine. I kissed her for each awake night, for each letter made, for the nights of wine, for the days of loneliness. I kissed her because at that moment it was only her and me.
No, I didn't believe in her, I couldn't give her everything either, my heart? ,my reason? , each one of them crumbled, the raised barriers had fallen from the first moment I stepped through the door
- I love you, I really love you, I said putting my hands on her cheeks, her eyes shone and were adorned by tears, I would never understand everything they could say, I took her hands and led her to the sofa, I sat next to she without stopping caressing her hands, she was there, she was there for her
-Alana I do not know. I took a breath of air because I knew what to say and it would not be so easy
I love you darling, but I can't trust you, have you realized everything that that implies? Until this morning I didn't know the name of the person who caused the two shots a month ago, do you believe in me? , Al, I don't know, you pulled the trigger, I would give my life for you, but sometimes I think it will always be like that, you know, you above all, I want to help you but I can't trust you
-I see, her face changed drastically, now the tears were held back by a feeling of superior pride
-Don't shoot, she said in a whisper
-What? , I asked hoping to confirm her words, her face was still low, I got closer to her, taking her chin and raising her face -What did you say?
-I haven't done it, I don't know your reports, I am an expert in weapons, you know, I laugh nervously. -Don't be scared, Dad has made me do so many things, if I had attempted against you I would not have failed, don't look at me that way, It is true I am his cheap little whore, his exchange in business, also who covers his stupid chest, sofia my life is literal a ravine from which you want to jump and you are the light on the other side
Silence accompanied us for the next few seconds, I did not have words nor did I understand much, there were no explanations, only half truths, I was tired of it, everything came to me right at that moment, the clandestine encounters when she turned 18, the visit to her grandmother at 19, her disappearance at 20, the letters received until month 4 of that same year
-You can't trust me, and that's fine, but sofi, I would never, never hurt you, I keep doing all this shit because I'm afraid for your life, he can't take any more things from me, you know, they are gone, I've lost everything , her voice broke again
-No, not everything. I finally said
-Please don't tell me that you don't, I know you know
-what are you talking about?
- Sofia, you know perfectly well why your grandparents died, you know that it was not an accident and I know that deep down you hate me but your love has been great to keep the good things
Her confession generated confusion in me, I could not deny that I knew it or at least suspected it, the fire did not have many explanations, my parents preferred to believe in the version of the police over a short one, grandparents used to be not so careless, it was there When I understood the power of that man, their case was closed two days after the incident occurred, and the entire file disappeared along with any evidence of what happened.
- I've always known, I don't blame you for it, they wouldn't either, they loved you a lot despite everything they did, I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that you didn't hurt me with it, I knew you were there, no one has counted, I was there, I saw you two blocks from the place argue with him, then I saw the flames come out of the building, I ran like never before that day, the grandparents had little time to have moved, do not expect something like that, I could not overcome, your father took away the most important thing in life
The love of two wonderful people and you know something Al, they wanted me to find you, get you out of there, make you my girlfriend, my wife, live with you, I entrusted my dreams, my fears, it was they who paid for my entire profession and this apartment that You see, I owe it all to them
She looked down again, she felt uncomfortable in that small space, however for the first time she spoke without interruptions, without fear that someone would see us or her father would appear in her apartment to drag her back
-Hey! , I called her, she raised her face again and smiled at me without wanting it
-Al, he's forgiven, he didn't trust you because you've disappeared all these times, I don't understand what relationship you had with Elizabeth's brothers, I don't understand why your father negotiates with you, why haven't you left?
-Many questions agent, I'm going to tell you everything step by step, just give me something to drink, could you?
-Sure, I got up going to the kitchen, when I returned I put the jug of juice on the table between us, extending a glass
-My father is someone very clever, I know he has men in the police and the FBI, I know each of his suppliers, as well as his partners, I have memorized places, credit cards, addresses, names, everything, these years I have investigated him As much as possible, I knew that my mother was able to filter several of her shipments, until recently, I knew that she committed suicide a few days ago or so your police report says isn't it? I nodded quickly, I didn't know where I wanted to go but I was hoping not to hear the following
-It's something silly you know? , suddenly you leave a note, when you have defeated cancer, where you specify that you take your life because the disease consumes you, I hate my father you have no idea how much, I have hated him every day, now that my mother died, I had to turn to a new person someone to trust Sofia.
All of her words seemed like puzzles, small pieces taking her course by themselves, wasn't she a simple girl? Did she know how to handle weapons? Everything pointed to her mother and the FBI at the same time. But was she a ...