Her clothes spread throughout my living room, the smell of sex permeating the place, her hair covering her face and her head resting on my chest, were the first impressions when I opened my eyes. The calm hit my chest like a Christmas present, the sensation having her back for a few minutes or seconds brought to me every day lived by her side and also the days of her absence.
I did not know the feeling that invaded me at the time, I could swear to suffer from a reminiscence just to see her rest there on me, I was afraid of her departure. I had to admit it would never be strong enough to assimilate the ups and downs of the roller coaster that she represented
I watched her sleep an hour more or maybe it was two, I didn't think much about peacetime, for some reason my mind only calculated the remaining seconds of calm. I should talk to her, I should know the truth, everything was a mystery with her, i didn't really know anything or maybe i only knew the visible part of her life.
She moved a little, began to wake up, I closed my eyes again trying to go unnoticed, she seemed to have rested as never before, I did not understand such tranquility
-I know she's awake, Sofia, I stopped listening to you breathe so slowly a while ago. She said making me come out of my little deception to see her smile and her eyes shine from her like that 17-year-old girl with whom I fell deeply in love one starry night on the hill.
-Yeah, well, I didn't want to bother you, you slept so peacefully that I preferred not to disturb you. I moved my arm a little out of our grip, taking her position in front of her
-Yes, I know for a long time I did not rest like that, I suppose that is the price to pay for the life I chose. She answered, that moment was perfect to put my next question into focus.
-Alana we should talk. I said in a more serious tone, she just nodded, tied her hair in a ponytail and took the shirt from the sofa to finally put it on
-I suppose you have a lot of questions, but first I'd like to take a shower if you don't mind. I quickly denied. She got up and gave me a small and fleeting kiss on the lips before disappearing down the hall on the way to the main bathroom and right there I realized something, how would she know which was the main bathroom? The night before and in none of them Alana had approached the main room, much less did she have to know which of the two doors led to my bedroom and which to the study. I stood up, taking any shirt on the coat rack and looking for some short pants and went in search of her when I got to the room she was singing in the bathroom, she was humming that song with which she asked me never to forget her. Everything was confusing, I took my player and I took care of each verse and there she was doing those little things, remembering my beloved
-Alana, could you come out for a moment please. take a seat on the bed, looking directly at my nightstand and taking the backup gun on it, load the gun and remove the safety
She came out in a towel covering her body and one in her hair. sHe smiled at me as she walked towards me, I made the decision to take the gun behind my back and aim directly at her, something was not right, I knew it from the moment she walked through that door, even long before I found her in the alley of the street. Manson Street
- What are you doing sofia? She answered with a slightly lost look, i could see her disappointment in her eyes, even so if i lowered the gun i would be totally defenseless
-What do you think, I can't trust you.
-It's a joke, she said something angry
-It must be a joke, right? , we made love, I was here with you all night risking my fucking head before my father's murderer, I told you about my stupid life and you're there pointing a gun at me. Her hands went to her face and she lowered them instantly
You know Sofia, you can't hurt me with that, a long time ago I stopped giving me the same if I lived or not. Now if you want to shoot me, do it. She replied raising her arms in surrender.
-Don't play with me. Because you knew my apartment? I never told you where each place was. Much less did I mention which door led to the main room. i was angry, disappointed, and tired, tired of her lies, of the life she represented and of looking for her to continue playing her ridiculous game.
-You don't answer, I'm not surprised Alana, I've been in this shit for two years looking for you, without knowing anything about you and now it turns out that you know everything about me. I spit with all the anger in me
Tell me how the fuck you know, do you spy on me? , it was part of your job to sleep with me, that you intend, darling, to end me, oh, don't wait, you've already done it. Her eyes were a sea of tears, I knew, I would not win, i had already lost everything by that time. Take the gun, and remove the cartridge by throwing it against her feet, then I threw the weapon at her.
"I have nothing to lose. If this is your job, do it. Mine is over when you see you standing there, I don't recognize the girl in front of me, and I can't go on with this. I leaned down on my knees, waiting for her decision." When I saw him lean over to grab the gun, I braced myself for her next move.