I don't know how long we waited. I know that for the first ten minutes, I was counting, just to occupy my mind and hopefully block out the cold, but then I gave up and settled for shivering. Whenever Cedric tried to start a conversation, it'd end with both of us letting out a breath in an attempt to control the chills.
My hands were freezing and my face was buried in a thin blanket that Cedric had gotten from the car. And I felt so tired but every time I'd start to doze off, Cedric would start talking. He had horrible timing.
"Hey, you still awake?" he asked. I mumbled something. I wasn't sure what it was or even what it was supposed to be but Cedric took it as a yes. "I'm sorry about this, the other side of the gate is quite a bit away from the castle, and knowing Tairen, he probably fell asleep."
"Tairen?" I asked. That must have been the king's name. I'd never known anybody with that name before. But then again, I didn't really know anybody at all.
"Yeah, Tairen Mucianus, the king of Chison," he said. "He only became the king about two years ago. His father and I had been making up The King's Guard before that, in preparation for him."
"And does he usually slack off this much?" I asked. Cedric laughed.
"No—well—I mean—" he scratched his chin before laughing again "—yeah. Yeah, he does."
I laughed lightly but before I could answer, the wind picked up and switched direction, all the air now going towards the gate. I stood and lifted my arm to block the light as the gate began to brighten. My body took an involuntary step forward. Whether it was from the wind or my instincts, I didn't know.
"Speak of the devil," Cedric said, his voice drowned out almost immediately.
The wind seemed to be sucked into the portal. The light died down but only for a moment. I didn't even have time to let my arm drop before a sound like a gunshot rung around us, all the air came rushing back and I ducked down, planting my feet as the wind returned to normal, but the light still blinding.
The silhouette of a person blocked out the light. The man placed a hand on his hip and gestured to the gate. "Let's go," he said. The voice was deep and smooth. People used the phrase 'his voice was like honey' to describe a beautiful voice but I don't think his voice was like honey. It was smooth but also sharp, a perfect contrast between the two. It didn't make me think of honey. It didn't make me think of anything in particular, just that it was unique, just that I would be able to tell it apart from a million different voices.
Was this the king? I barely had time to think that before I was pulled into the portal.
I don't know how to explain the feeling of going through the portal. It was dark for a moment, I know that, but I—felt light. I felt like I was flying, or floating. I wasn't cold anymore, at least not like I had been. My bones felt warm like they were radiating heat, but the cold lingered on my skin, clinging too tightly.
And then it stopped and I could feel the ground beneath my feet, the air regulated into cold again, just not as bad. Probably because I had to get used to it again. I rubbed my eyes, blinking quickly to encourage my eyes to adjust.
"What a pain." That voice again. I turned to the source, my jaw dropping as I found it. There was a man maybe ten feet away from me stretching and complaining. He was tall and dressed in a thick deep red coat, the hem and sleeves a dark purple. He wore a dark purple scarf that he pulled up over his nose as he straightened. Dark red boots were laced up to his knees and as he walked, the cleats kicked up small pieces of snow and ice. "You must be Ryker. Glad you could join us. I'm Tairen."
As he reached out his gloved hand, I realized how close he'd gotten and I could feel my face heat up, despite the cold. My chest tightened as I took his hand, lightly shaking it. From this distance, I could tell his eyes were dark green with specks of black, so dark they were almost hazel, but not quite. His blond hair was so light at the tips that it looked as if it was bleached. As I took my hand back and stuffed them in my pockets, he smirked, turning to Cedric.
"How was the trip?" he asked. Cedric crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, I would say it was great but it was spoiled when we had to wait in the cold for over an hour. What took you so long?" he asked. He sounded serious but I could see the playfulness in his eyes.
"Let's talk and walk," he said, gesturing as he began walking away. I followed behind Cedric, folding my arms as the cold began to bite again. "Hailey was having tea with the maids again, it was annoying."
"What does that have to do with you being late?" Cedric asked.
Tairen shrugged. "I got in a mood. If it weren't for Blake, I probably wouldn't be here right now."
"I'll keep that in mind," Cedric said before turning to me. "Do you think you have the energy to meet the rest of the knights?"
My eyes widened and I ducked my head. I could just say I didn't have the energy, that I was exhausted, and that wouldn't be a complete lie because I was tired but not so much so that I had to lie down immediately. Wouldn't it be rude to just leave, though?
"It's nothing to overthink," Tairen said, his voice drifting back and reaching my ears. He slowed down, enough that he ended up on my other side. He ducked his head down a bit and I didn't miss the odd look Cedric gave him. "Why'd you decide so quickly anyway? I mean, I have my guesses but I'm just curious."
I looked away, pulling my jacket up to cover my neck. "Well, I guess I just didn't think I was gonna go anywhere."
"Well, why not?"
"Tairen," Cedric cut in. Tairen rolled his eyes, straightening up. The air became tense, the only sound being the crunching of our feet and the sighs here and there. Tairen unwrapped his scarf, tossing it to me, his eyes on the path before us.
"You looked cold and I handle the cold pretty well so there you go," he said, running a hand through his golden hair. "Anyway, when I did my research, it looked to me like you had a path laid out for you. It didn't seem too bad but I guess I was just an outsider so I wouldn't know."
"Where's the carriage, Tairen?" Cedric said, his lips pursed together and his eyes narrowed.
"Not too far," he said, raising a finger. "Patience is key." Cedric chuckled. I wrapped the scarf around my neck, burrowing my nose in the fabric.
The rest of the walk was a lot less talkative and I could feel the air gradually getting warmer as the snow disappeared and the sun began to seep through the trees. Every once in a while, I'd glance up at Tairen and he'd be looking right back at me. Each time, he gave me a smirk and then turned away as I darted my eyes away. Cedric asked about a few people that I didn't remember the names of and Tairen would answer with some sarcastic remark, never a straight answer.
Watching them exchange words, I could tell they'd known each other for a while. The fondness behind their words was evident but the way Cedric would look away annoyed told me he was used to Tairen's attitude. The way Tairen would roll his eyes at Cedric's playful reprimands told me that he was used to them. I wondered if he regularly got Cedric annoyed.
I flinched when Tairen began to jump and celebrate with joy. He looked like a child but then he turned around and his sharp eyes canceled out that feeling. It was like a mask. Every single feature on his face was childish, and genuinely so, except for his eyes, and his eyes were the total opposite. "I almost forgot!" he said, "Look at what I did to the carriage!"
I remember when I was younger—so young that it was probably my first group home—we'd gather once a week to watch a movie. We were toddlers so Disney movies were popular. I remembered seeing beautiful golden and white carriages with prancing white horses.
The carriage before me didn't fit the blissful feeling of a princess carriage. This carriage was thick with what looked like armored sides. The wheels were black and the windows were lined with dark purple, the rest either dark red or black. The horses weren't prancing white horses that held their heads arrogantly high. The four horses were giant, stout, black, and brown horses, with thick hooves and long manes and tails.
The man on the seat was dressed with deep red armor that reminded me of the card soldiers from Alice in Wonderland. The man's face was covered, and by that standard, I guess it could have been a woman, too. Did they allow women to become knights?
"Why did you do this?" Cedric asked except he didn't seem annoyed, he just seemed confused, like he was seriously bewildered at why he thought this was a good idea.
Tairen shrugged, opening the carriage door. "I told you I was annoyed, so I decided to redecorate."
"Redecorate?" Cedric asked, gesturing for me to get in behind Tairen. I stepped up into the carriage, my body tensing as my feet left the ground. I felt so vulnerable. A gloved hand appeared in front of me and I looked up to the person. Tairen smiled, tilting his head a bit. As I took his hand, a chill ran up my spine.
"Yeah, I also redecorated the dining room," he said as I took the seat across from Tairen, closest to the window. Cedric sat beside Tairen, slipping off his thick coat. It was only then that I fully realized it'd gotten a lot warmer. Tairen knocked on the wall behind him and the carriage began moving.
"Well, maybe you should have your brother look at it before completely renovating," Cedric said, crossing his arms.
"Are you saying I don't decorate well?" Tairen asked, raising an eyebrow.
Cedric shrugged, looking out the window, and Tairen scoffed, turning to me.
"It takes about an hour to get to the castle. Luckily, we're going in through the North Gate, otherwise, it'd take much longer. In that hour, how about we get to know each other? I only found written research so anything that wasn't on paper, I didn't know, and I'm a curious person." He pulled his knees up and smiled, resting his chin on his knees.
"Don't be too pushy," Cedric said, sliding down in his seat. "I'm gonna get some shut-eye. Wake me when we get there."
"I probably won't," Tairen said, glancing towards him before turning back to me. I felt my face heat up and my chest tighten. My hand instinctively searched my pockets and when they came up empty—like I knew they would—I felt the heat rush to my feet and my arms begin tingling. Tairen cleared his throat. "Well, I'm kind of tired, too, so I'll just ask you one question and then go to sleep too."
I glanced up and Tairen was looking at me, his face a lot more serious but his eyes were soft. It was a lot more comforting than the mask he had on before. Or maybe this was just another mask.
"Why didn't you think you were going anywhere? You had an apartment, a scholarship, a life set out for you, basically handed to you on a silver platter, and you left so quickly. So why was that you not going anywhere? To me, it just seems selfish." His eyes became sharp again, quick, and studying. But his words cut deep.
Selfish? Was I being selfish? Kenny had looked out for me my whole life and I'd left just like that, with no real explanation or anything. My dad may not have been perfect but he gave me what I needed and would have given me anything I'd asked for. Maybe I shouldn't have left. Maybe I did more damage than I thought.
"I—well—" I cleared my throat, squeezing my eyes shut. I guess I was being selfish, but that was a new feeling. When was the last time I'd been selfish? "I was going somewhere, I guess. I wanted to handle guns all day but I realized that my purpose wasn't that, that it didn't matter because what was I really doing? I realized I wasn't passionate about it so I began to despise it. I didn't want to work for someone that was only taking the credit for someone else's work. And then I realized I was doing the same thing. I was going somewhere, but I was going on the path that was already before me and—" I looked up and broke off as my eyes met Tairen's. My face heated up immediately and I looked away.
He was staring so intently like he was truly invested in my words. The tingling in my arms began to fade and my body heat evened out. I took a deep breath.
"And what?" Tairen asked. I looked out the window, completely aware of the eyes on me.
It'd been a while since I could talk to someone so smoothly and freely. Maybe because it was something I was interested in, so much so that it didn't matter who was watching or judging, it was something I could talk about without a care.
"And I was bored," I said, and the carriage went silent. As it bounced and jolted on rocks beneath the wheels, it all seemed distant. The only way I could describe that sudden feeling was like sleeping. Because for a moment, I wasn't aware of anything, but only for that moment, and once I came out of it, the world was loud around me and time had passed. And only in the aftermath could I remember the feeling of that break in time. Only in the aftermath could I miss that feeling. Maybe that's why people liked sleep so much; because they were cursed to only ever remember it, never truly revel in it.
It was about an hour in that I looked out the window and instead of seeing trees, I saw a wall. It was gigantic, towering over at least a hundred feet above us. Behind the walls, I could see tall spires, but I could tell they were in the distance and that they were probably much taller. Judging by the sun, it was around eleven o'clock but I wasn't sure if the sun worked the same here.
Why wouldn't it?
"You'll catch flies." I snapped my eyes to Cedric, my mouth shutting in the process. I cleared my throat, looking down and scratching the back of my neck.
"I didn't know you were awake," I said.
"I didn't know you were," he said, straightening his posture. "Seems to me like you'd be sleeping."
"I slept a lot on the way here," I said, looking out the window and staring at the walls. I wondered what they were made of. To me, it looked like some basic kind of stone, but that got me wondering how they managed that with limited technology. Maybe it had something to do with magic.
"I'm not surprised Tairen's asleep, though," Cedric said, rolling his eyes. "He sleeps every chance he gets."
I nodded. It didn't seem very king-like to constantly be sleeping, but I guess I wouldn't know. I had no room to talk anyway.
As we neared the walls, I grew more and more fascinated by how large they were. I didn't understand how anyone could make walls so large. Even in the real world, with our technology, it would be difficult and would take years. Judging by how vines and bushes grew up the sides, they seemed pretty old, meaning they must have been built quite a while ago, but by who?
I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose as we came to a stop. My chest tightened but I couldn't tell if it was because we were here or if it was because I was so utterly confused that it hurt my head.
Cedric knocked on the wall, drawing my attention. Tairen was sitting up, rubbing his eyes and yawning. When he looked at me, his eyes widened with surprise before they dulled out as he looked towards Cedric. They lost all sharpness and all warmth, they just became—empty. I wonder if it was because of what I'd said earlier.
I looked back out the window. This is why I didn't interact with people. But I guess I told Cedric before that I didn't really like people and people didn't usually like me, and he still asked me to come here. I was so conflicted but I guess none of it mattered because the choice was made. There was no going back now.
"The Sire would like you to take us directly to the castle entrance," Cedric said and he got a stomp in return. I scrunched my eyebrows together as we began moving again, this time a bit faster. The short trip was a lot smoother, which I assumed was because we were in the walls now. The sound and smell of people was everywhere.
Towards the end, I could hear people cheering and as I looked out the window, there were people everywhere, waving and throwing confetti and decorations of all sorts. Most were dressed formally, with either long dresses or sharp suits, but the ones that weren't had better clothes on than the kids at my high school prom had.
During all the commotion, Tairen didn't say a word. He was slouched in his seat, his arms crossed over his chest and his head tilted back, eyes closed. His Adam's apples bobbed as he swallowed and I cleared my throat, looking away.
As soon as the carriage stopped, Tairen had the door open and was gone. I hadn't even had the chance to give back his scarf. I stepped out of the carriage and folded it, looking down on it for a little too long. I held it gently as if it were precious or would break, or maybe I thought such an act of kindness was odd. Why did this confuse me so much? It was just a scarf.
"I'm sorry about him," Cedric said and I turned to him. He smiled brightly. "Once the formalities are put to the side, he's like a spoiled child, but he is the king." He said that as if he were sad, not angry, or even annoyed, but sad.
"It's fine, I—uh, I just didn't get the chance to give this back to him," I said, gesturing to the scarf. Cedric gently took it out of my hands, his grip seeming more gentle than my own.
"Don't worry, I'll get it back to him!" Cedric said, sending me a smile before walking past me. "But first, let's get you settled in. I'll give you a supervisor to show you around since I have many duties to attend to. I have the perfect person for you."