I get sick to my stomach... waking up, finding you still gone. I ask, what am I supposed to do? go and find you? how do I find you? when you don't want to be found.... or at least found by me. I'm lost with out you here but you were found the day you left... I'm still looking for a found person. what do I do? I'm running in circles for you but at the same time, I'm standing completely still... I miss you, I think I miss you. I'm not sure, maybe I miss the idea of you and the idea of waking up to you beside me... or maybe I just miss someone wanting me the way I needed to be wanted my whole life... or perhaps I'm confused and just unsure of who I am or who I think I'm looking for, maybe I'm looking for myself in the idea of looking for you. I'm not very sure what I'm doing or who I'm looking for anymore. maybe I'm just so lost that I'm not looking for anyone but myself... or maybe I really did loose you and I just don't understand that you're gone and I can't get you back. I want you back... but how do I get you back? I want the love of my life back... but I want my nightmare to end... please let the pain end, the searching, the endless nights end. I can't stand my love being gone, but the day you left, I think you found what you were looking for... what you needed wasn't me, but what I need is running from me... I need a family... I keep having the same dream... I have a baby... and me and that baby are alone and I'm so young and so dumb... but I love that baby with every part of my life and soul... and I just feel needed and so much joy... but when i wake up, the baby is gone, no smiling face to great me, no tiny hand to hold, no fragile person to protect... just my empty bed...