Lionel drove the car towards Kelvin's school after receiving a call from him. He was humming happily to a country music playing in the car. His life has unexpectedly become blissful, he had been worried of how he would fare after his release but things were going on well at the moment, he was still wary of Zaynella who he still saw as a stranger a little bit but he knew that she meant no harm and one thing he was sure of is that she was hiding something, and what ever it is he hoped it better be good. As he neared the road with a heavy traffic, he slowed down and leaned on the car seat leisurely waiting for traffic to clear. His hand was tapping on the steering. On impulse he turned to look at the car on the lane next to his and his heart seized to beat momentarily. A brown haired girl of about twelve sat inside the black Cadillac at the back, her eyes were closed and her hair was pulled in a high ponytail. Her ears were blocked with ear phones making her immune to the life outside and leaving her in her own world. Her nose even though straight wasn't pointed. There was still some baby fats on her cheeks and they were dusted with an almost invisible freckles. Her complexion was close to baby white. Lionel starred at the girl forgetting to breathe or move, even when the traffic started clearing. He only snapped out of his trance when the car was out of sight and the car owner behind him angrily hunked his horn. When he started moving again, the happy atmosphere in the car have disappeared and was replaced with a feeling of lose and pain.
When he got to Kelvin's school, Kelvin was already waiting for him. He hunked at him when he drove a little bit closer to where he was standing and Kelvin walked up to him, after exchanging pleasantries he entered the car and Lionel drove off. Kelvin noticed the dull atmosphere that was hanging in the car and didn't make any attempt to talk. Once they reached the restaurant, Kelvin hurriedly came down and entered through the back door. To him the atmosphere earlier was suffocating, he knew something was definitely wrong haven heard of the circumstances surrounding the meeting between Lionel and Zy. It took Lionel time to plaster a fake smile on his face before he came in to continue work.
After work, Lionel drove home alone to prepare dinner while Kelvin and Zaynella took a cab to the hospital to visit Kelvin's grandmother. Even though the visit was short, Kelvin was still glad to have escaped from the suffocating atmosphere he had witnessed first hand that was surrounding Lionel which he was purposely hiding from Zy. The old woman was happy to have the two people he love visit her, they cracked jokes about work and other things, after she ate, took her medication, daily check up and slept off and they finally left, but not without making inquiries of the old woman's health from the doctor who fed them with good news. On their way home inside the cab, Zaynella inquired about school from Kelvin and was happy to hear her was catching up. She in turn told him of the new game development and he said he couldn't wait to launch the game for her and they laughed.
Dinner was set when they got home. After they freshened up they were served dinner of pot roast and brazed vegetables with soy sauce. As usual the table had a home feeling and the food where delicious but Kelvin knew that something was eating Lionel up and he looked like he wouldn't want to share it, he decided to keep calm now and inform Zaynella of the issue later if the gloomy Lionel was feeling feeling persisted, maybe Zaynella would help out.
Kelvin did the dishes after which he joined Lionel and Zaynella in their discussion which was mainly focused on how Lionel found his new work and his replies were all in the positive. As usual Zaynella went to bed early leaving Lionel and Kelvin to the movie they were watching.
It was at that time that Kelvin decided to try his luck. " Hey are you okay", he asked his face showing concern.
"Yeah sure, why do you ask",Lionel asked that fake smile still plastered on his face.
"When you picked me up earlier today the aura around you was gloomy and you looked unhappy".
"Oh that, i was only thinking of my life before I left prison everything is Ok, did you tell Zy".
"Nope I wanted to make sure everything is okay."
He didn't want to bother Zaynella with his life, to him she had done enough already by producing a roof, a job and food for him and he was really grateful so he wanted to solve his private issues with his own powers, so he was glad Kelvin haven't told her yet.
"Am really OK Kel".
Kelvin didn't believe him so he still planned on telling Zy but all the same he agreed to let the case die, and Lionel was happy he did even though he knew his reply was clearly doubted.
They stayed up for some minutes before calling it a night. Lionel wasn't able to sleep. The picture of the young girl he saw earlier was embedded in his mind and heart and for the first time since he left prison he cried.
His tears soaked his pillow, they were tears of regret. 'If only he had stood his ground this wouldn't be this way,' 'if only he had been better,' 'if only he had been stronger'. The only words going through his mind were 'if only' and the last word from those two people before his conviction.
The image played in his mind like it was yesterday.
* * ... * *
FLASH....BACK
"We are happy to get rid of you, you are undeserving to our daughter she asked us to pass this letter to you",they threw a letter to him, the one that left his heart in pain till date and it was clearly her writing.
* * ... * *
END .... OF ... FLASHBACK
More tears escaped as it accompanied him to the dream land.