When i made it Dorin i noticed that i did come early as i looked around i could see that there was some fog, as i truned off my motor i got off and sat on the wet grass not caring if i would get wet or sick. "I'm driving myself insane because of this. I need to stop doing this and let it be. Your a strong.. beautiful woman. I made a mistake."
"Don't say that, you came back because you thought that you were strong enough to face the past, and look at you. You fell in love again you started to smile like before. Don't let some stupid heartbreak get in the way of you happienes." Dorin's voice souneded so calming to my heart that i just knew he had the right word's that i just needed to hear. "It's the moral of the story.." i looked up at him as he came and sat down next to me and laid his head down on my shoulder and then he closed his eyes. "Your beautiful when your cry.." The way his voice just sounds so clam and cool.. made me think so many things that I'm scared to admit again. Was i even in the right to ask if i can have a second chance.
"I know about Lukas.." i dropped my head back as i grabbed a ciggrette from my pocket and a lighter. "So.. what did he say." As Dorin sat up normaly he mostion his hand to me saying that he wanted a ciggrette as well as i handed him one as he looked at me as he looked tired from an all nighter. "Well about his dad.." I didn't know what he was going to say to that so i looked away as i kept my ciggrette to my lips. "Well he did have a rough life, his dad being monster and then taking over the gang by myself. Sure must be a lot to handle. " When i heard that my heart skipped a beat.. i never expected to hear something like that. "What.." I looked at him as i pushed him down to the grass and got on top of him as tears started to overflow my eyes. "Tell me everything that i need to know." When he saw that i really didn't knowanything he got quite as the everything went soundly to the birds chripping in the trees and the wing blowing in every direccion as he still had his ciggrette between his lips and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry that i have to be the one to tell you." As my tears landed on his face all he did was keep his eye's closed as i dropped myself next to him sharing the same ciggrette he told me everything that i needed to know about Lukas. "Do you want to get high" Dorin's voice sounded different to me but why.. it sounded like we didn't know each other from a long time ago. Getting high..what's the difference of not drinking and getting high. Is that you still go for it when you think your done. I think I'm not sure. "No.. i just need to drink." As it was becoming night we headed to the Titanic to grab a few drinks. I grabbed onto Dorin as we went inside and stayed on the first floor enjoying the music and drinking non stop. "Hey where have you been Gin!" As i can hear my name being called i look over and see Omar calling out to me as me and Dorin go over and come to see that all my old guy friends are here. I just smiled and kept drinking as Omar kept me close to him as i could slowly feel his hands on my waist as he looks at me deeply in my eyes. "I always love you so much." As he said that i could care less and he kissed me.. i kissed him back but as i opened my eyes more clearly it wasn't Omar.. it was David's hands on my waist as he kept me close to his warm body. "I'm not going to fuck up this time.' he pressed his lips against mine's one more time.. thinking about it for a longer time.. how many time's have i waited for him to tell that he's going to try harder and not fuck up. As i pulled away he laid his head on my shoulder as i tryed to find Dorin but he was with the guys upstairs as i could see from the windows. He took them up there and left me alone.. with David. I somehow didn't care what would happened.. i could feel his hand reaching for mine as held me closer and we walked outside i felt my head even more dizzy and David..he still had his built body so good his arm's so strong and yummy. Then i could feel him picking me up as he carried me like a bride. "Don't let me go please." As i mumble my words i could feel him putting me down in a seat and an engine being truned on. As i truned to see David had brought me to his car. He kept his hand on mine as i felt happy.
After a few minutes went by i saw that he brought us to a Hotel.. it seemed to shiny and pretty..I didn't have any money as he went inside and payed i stayed in the car thinking about all the things i wanted to say but somehow i didn't say anything.. i could'nt say anything. When he came back he opened the door and picked me up again as we went to the room. As i could feel his arm's around me i felt safe and warm, I didn't want him to leave at all i wanted him to stay with me as long as i could have him.
When he laid me on the bed i could feel that he laid a kiss on my forehead. "D-don't go.. please.." Mumbuling my words i grabbed his arm's he sat next to me. "Gin.. I mever stopped thinking about you." He whispered in my ear gently as he then laid next to me. "Why did you break my heart David.." As i looked at him while i was under the covers he looked at me as if he had nothing to say, "You know how i am.. I'm an asshole." When he said that i knew that he didn't change that was alawys his excuse when he didn't have anything to say or that he just wanted to say something when he was in the wrong.
"I still love you.. i hate me knowing that i still love you that hurts me so much." As i said that he leaned in and kissed me as i could feel my tears coming down slowly somehow i felt so much fault in everything i did. I kiss him back as he got under the covers with me. "You don't knw how much i missed you." He got on top of me as he took off his shirt expossing his very toned body. He still had such a nice body..he was pale like snow yet his heart colder.
His lips on mine my arm's around his neck... my legs around his wasit holding him closer tightly to me. As i didn't want to let him go for anything at all. My first love.. my first feeling of love and happieness was you, as i could see him pulling down his pant's as i could feel my heart beating faster and faster as i pulled him closer to me he started to pulling my shirt as i pushed him back a bit taking a breath. "Let me do this for you.." As he got off me i got off the bed getting in front of him as i started to dance and strip slowly i could see his boner popping from the cover. I felt my face blushing as it was going to be the first time i have sex with David and i felt nervous. His boner looked bigger and bigger. I truned around as i stripped slowly for him, i couldn't help but to feel like a stripper.. but i kinda liked it if it was for him.. or Lukas.. Lukas lied to me just like you did. But somehow that didn't matter to me at the moment i was hot and drunk i just wanted to be fucked beastly by David. As i climbed on top of him as he gently put his hand over my cheek bringing me up to his lips as we kissed deeply i could feel my heart beating faster with each kiss as his slid his tounge in my mouth i started to melt into his arm's. Sitting up right as i sat on his legs only wearing my black lace lingiere..i could feel his warm body my chest felt cold but being so close to him i felt like i was dreaming i thought that everything betwee us could work out again.. that we could be insane in love again with each other that.. we could only need other for warmth.
As David layed me down he slowly pulled my panties down as i felt my face go red. "Your body is still so beautiful as before with the scar and everything." David's word's felt so warm i didn't think twice as i pulled him closer as i could feel his beating heart. I felt like all the pain that i kept inside just stpped bieng pain and went back to loving him. When he finally as inside me i felt like i was going to burst as i felt my body already shivering. he looked at me with love and calmness in his eyes, as it made me calm as well i could feel my heart slowly going faster as the night we had went into a night of pleasure in the stars. I knew that i started to get the feeling of never letting him go. Again..
"I love you.."
But to who did i ment it...
I'm a liar to myself and everyone around like they are to me.