I was laying on the ground when the alarm went off. A tear falls leaving a cold streak behind. I wipe it off.
I laugh as the realization swirls in my head. I'm dying.
Reluctantly I get up to get ready. It was now Monday again and I could not wait for school. I snort as I can't even come to believe that.
Stepping in the room I find Mark reading on my bed. This time he has Me Before You. He looks so engross that I don't bother him. I head straight for the bathroom. I needed a shower.
I still felt weak but my body no longer protested with every move. I was just sore. The shower was heavenly, I look in the mirror to see bags underneath my eyes, but I focus on my nose. The bruising was down as well as the swelling. There was no need for makeup.
I step into the room to see Mark wiping his eyes.
"Are you okay?" I ask approaching him.
"Fine, just have something on my eye," he says. I hold back my laughter as I lean in to hug him.
Kissing his head I head to the closet.
"Are you sure you're feeling all right to go back, I mean you did almost-" he stops. I know he's worried that it might happen again. I was too. One minute I can be up and functioning and the next I could fall into a coma or something.
I needed to talk to Tristan.
"Yeah, I'm okay. I was thinking of having that ice cream and movie with the Burke's today. Since we missed it."
Silence.
"Mark? Are you listening?" I ask as I finish changing.
I step out the closer to find myself alone. Mark was gone. No wonder he didn't respond to my food inquiry.
Mark, where did you go? I ask through our link.
Sorry, I have to do something. Meet you at the line. Tell the Burke's I'm sorry I couldn't make it.
Like that he was gone. He blocked me off before I could even ask questions.
For someone that likes to reassure nothing is wrong he has me worrying more than before. I needed to corner him and demand answers but right now I had pressing matters. I was nervous about seeing the Burke's.
I head downstairs to find it empty. I stand still, hearing their heartbeats I relax. They're still asleep.
I start making breakfast just like they would have done any other morning. I wasn't sure if I should wake them or not so I busy myself with not burning the house down. If anyone was going to be an arsonist I'd let Mark take that title. He already accomplished that anyway.
After I was done the Burke's still haven't woken up. I debate some more but decide to let them rest a little longer. I make lunch for all three of us. Just to be on the safe side.
When I was packing them in containers I hear footsteps rushing about. Muffled voices drift downstairs as a few minutes later Angie comes running down the stairs looking panicked.
"Good morning," I say brightly at her.
He mouth opens and shuts as she sees all that I did. She looks between the table and me in a confused state.
"You did all this?" She asks me amazed.
"Yeah, I thought I could return the favor since you and John always make me breakfast. I hope you don't mind that I used your-" I was rambling. Like I always do when I'm nervous.
"Not mine, it's ours. I told you before anything that is ours is yours as well. Don't ever apologize for it. With that being said, wow," she takes a breath, "you did all this alone? Where's Mark?"
Before I can answer John walks in. "First things first, babe," he kisses Angie's head before turning to me, "good morning, this looks amazing. Thank you for doing all of this when you didn't have to."
He smiles at me making me smile as well. I was relieved.
"Oh, yes! Of course, thank you so much hunny," Angie comes to hug me.
"I also made lunch," I tell them.
"We should sleep in more often," John jokes. I laugh as I sit to eat. My appetite was now more than before. I felt I could eat everything on my own. Which was strange, for me, I didn't usually get super hungry.
I ate for me and Mark. Or at least tried. I got full half way through but I did manage to eat twice as much from my usual intake.
Which I would have taken as me getting better but I knew better.
"I'm so glad you're better, we were worried," Angie says taking me out of my own head.
"I'm okay," I try to assure them.
"That's great, I was thinking about our movie night. We never did get to have it. If you're up to it we can have it anytime you'd like. I'll go buy the ice cream after work," John looks at me warily. I can tell he's still concerned but doesn't say.
"Yeah, sounds great. Whenever is fine with me."
They go on to tell me about their little gateway which after a bit they look at me apologetically, but I ask them more questions to take some of the tension away. I was glad they had a great time while I was, well you know. I smiled at them and offered to clean up but they wouldn't have it.
"Oh, Mark wanted me to tell you he was sorry for not making it. He had pressing matters."
I rush upstairs before they could say anything, I went to get my belongings as well as Ander's shades.
Giving them a hug and a wave good bye I head outside. I look around to see if Mark is anywhere but I was alone.
I dump my bag on the passenger seat when I smell something. I look around trying to see where that smell came from but I can't find anything out of place.
Backing up my purse falls and so do it contents. I ignore it as I keep trying to get Mark to open our link. It was no use all I manage was a headache. He wasn't sensing my distress. I know I'm not the best werewolf out there but I can tell when something is off. What was more alarming was that it wasn't in their territory it was in ours.
I get to the line just like always, Mark had said he'd meet me here but clearly he was running late. I try once more to connect with him but he still has me blocked off.
I lock the doors as I never make the same mistake twice. Well I'm trying to not make them. Some just register better than others after one trial run.
I lean over to pick my bag up. Just as I reach my phone I'm on high alert.
Straightening up I see just over the line a dark wolf. It growls at me. Its dark eyes glare at me in the most menacing way. I stare right back.
Stepping on the gas I let the car roar.
I wasn't above running over a jerk who is clearly trying to intimidate me.
I give it another roar, I know running something over as big as this wolf might not just damage the paint but much more, I was willing to go all in. If it was between me and Mark's car I think Mark would choose...I'll just work to pay him back.
We stare at each other for what seemed like minutes before the wolf breaks eye contact ending our staring contest. Which I won. It looks around before dashing out of the way and back into the woods it came from.
I sit there in silence. Looking around to see what might have spooked it. Nothing stands out. My heart is racing. I lean my head on the steering wheel. I focus on my breathing hoping my heart would follow and end it's panic.
A knock on my window startles me. Jumping I clutch my chest when I see Marks inquisitive face staring down at me.
Taking a deep breath I shove the door open, shoving him aside as well, I come to stand before him. Hitting him all over I start to reprimand him for his neglect.
"Ouch!"
"You stupid, stupid, idiot!! I know you have your own life and don't have to be devoted to mine but you promised me. You promised me to never leave me alone! You said you would never block me!" I had stopped hitting him. I stared at him with tears on my eyes. I quickly wipes them away. I wasn't going to cry.
"I know," my voice breaks. I had a knot on my throat. "I know, I some times block you but I've never, never, I have I ever left you completely out. The moment I felt alone or unsafe I let you back in. I only have ever done it when I knew both of us were safe. I've never done it for long either. Where were you?"
I was shaking. He saw this and got on alert. He still had me blocked off even though we were standing right in front of each other. That was hurting me more than whatever that wolf could have done to me.
"What happened?" He asks still scanning the area.
"You left me," I whisper.
I get in the car and shut the door. Locking him out I drive off ignoring his pleas. Even still he wouldn't open our link. He was hiding something from me and I was sick of it. He has taken care of me for as long as I can remember but he will always see me as that kid that almost died.
I was so much more than that.
I park on the same spot trying to calm myself down. I was so riled up that I wanted to turn back and hit more sense into Mark but I stop myself. It's not worth my anger. He and I will talk about it after my head isn't coming up with ways to hurt him.
I don't even bother putting the perfume anymore. There's no point, grabbing my bag I sling it over my shoulder, I step out putting Ander's shades on. I would give them back but I prefer this to the ones I had.
I walk past the Jeep I knew was theirs but I don't see anyone. I continue inside where there's chatter about some event in school. Not that I'd be interested in any of that.
I contemplate heading for my homeroom or my locker to drop my P.E. uniform off. I ultimately decided to head to homeroom. I was a little anxious to go there, mostly because I wanted to see him. Not that I'll ever admit that.
As I step in I'm stopped by Mr. Shwerb.
"Well isn't it nice of you to bless us with your presence Miss Rye. Taken some liberties, have we? Then again knowing who your parents were, may they rest their soul, it's not too difficult to see you're just like them."
I stand there looking at him with a blank expression on my face. It's gotten easier to hide my emotions. Looking at him in disbelief would only cause him satisfaction. I'm not one to give joy just like that. What bothered me wasn't what he said although it didn't take a genius to hear the distaste in his mouth. Whatever my parents did to him, I hope it was worse than whatever I can think of doing to him.
What bothered me was the fact that he said it so loudly that everyone even if they weren't paying attention could hear. I don't give them any reaction, I just simply walk to my seat.
I could care less what happened to him, whatever his beef with my parents was—that's between them. Not my problem.
"She's an orphan?" The annoying voices behind began.
"Doesn't matter I'd still get with her for her sweet rides," another voice cockily states. I was so over them. A part of me wanted to turn around and bang their heads on the table to make it clear I'm not interested, but I refrain myself. I pick my battles. Just like Tristan taught me.
"Maybe she has an older rich boyfriend and that's who's buying her the cars. Wouldn't put it past her," Joseph seethes. Clearly still hurt from my rejection.
Why is it that some can't take rejection too well? It's not like it's a dent on their armor that they have to parade around for all to see. It's just a trip on their journey that is life, just like any other trip they just have to walk it off. They aren't fatality wounded when they get a no. This is what always confused me. Why get so bent over backwards when the person they're interested isn't?
Move. On.
I hear a seat scrap as a person stands. I know it's him, I know what he's going to do, I know this won't end well. For him.
I brace myself for whatever Joseph is going to do or say, I was ready to put an end to this. I am not going to let someone just think they can walk all over me.
"Hey orphan, b-" before he could finish I hear a grunt.
I turn to see him on the ground holding his nose. He looked confused and then scared. He tried to crawl away from the person that punched him on the face. I smile as I see how terrified he's become. That bravado he try to emanate was long gone with that whimper he gave when the person that stood over him seemed to move in for another hit.
He didn't, he did snort a small laugh, but didn't move to take another swing at the guy. He was shaking his head when he steps aside.
"Mr. Stone, what is the meaning of this?" Mr. Shwerbs irritated voice ruined the moment.
Theo, it was Theo, he turned to Mr. Shwerb and shrugged. He didn't look at me once but I stood up which caused him to turn his attention to me. Once our eyes met a realization came to me.
As if sensing my shock he walks right past me and out the class without another word. Not even listening to Mr. Shwerb's demands.
I got right on out after him, also causing Mr. Shwerb to lose his mind trying to get everyone's attention.
As soon as I step out I lose him. I'm not sure how if I was a few seconds behind him. Looking all over I give up, I head to my locker to dump my clothes off. He knew this school better than I and must have used that to hide from me. I was on edge. Theo's dark eyes were on my mind. When he looked at me they had the same intense look that they had when he was a wolf standing in front of me.
I wanted, no I needed to know, what was his problem with me. Why threaten me as a wolf and then stand up for me in the span of a day. What was he getting at?
Once the bell rang I walked the halls looking for him or anyone of his pack.
To say I was unsuccessful was saying the least. I didn't run into any of them. Not even Diana whom I knew had the same P.E. class as me.
Heading outside for lunch I take a deep breath. I couldn't let my mind worry about being liked in a pack that I had no intention of joining. Oh, I was so wrong. I should get that printed on a shirt and just wear it by how many times I've been proven wrong.
"Why should we even care about her? She has done nothing for us, she hasn't even taken the time to get to know anyone of us. Except Robb. She hasn't even shown any interest in you! She hasn't taken the time to know you better to decide if you'll finish the bonding," Theo says, irritated.
"I have to agree with him on this. She clearly has no intentions with you," Magenta says.
I was headed for my tree when those words reached me. Now I was standing by the doors like a complete idiot. Stepping aside when some annoyed kids ask me to move. I was contemplating whether to go to them or not.
I mean, they're not wrong. I didn't have any intentions to get to know them, to even bond with my mate, yet their words hurt me like no other. I was being selfish and I knew it. Not that I can't justify it with the fact that I almost died. I'll admit something about what they said made me want to prove them wrong.
"You need to cut her some slack. Just like she can get to know you—you can get to know her. It's a two way street don't put it all on her. If you really wanted to know more about her then ask her. Don't expect her to show up and just tell you," Ander answers, he sounded annoyed.
Closing my eyes I take his discarded shades from my bag and put them on.
I had all intentions to heading for the trees but my feet had other plans. I stood by their table smiling. "Hey, guys. Mind if I join?"
Theo doesn't look up, he kept his eyes on his food. Robb smiled back at me. At least he didn't hate me. Magenta just rolled her eyes.
My smile grew more when I saw Jay and Diana sitting. I hadn't realized they were also there. They smile at me, Diana gave me a small wave.
"Of, course." Ander says, sliding enough to give me room to sit.
Once seated I realize how stupid this was. The tension and the awkwardness was set on high.
"I'm so glad to see you all are doing better," I admit looking at Jay, Diana, and Robb.
"Thanks to you," Jay says.
I was shaking my head. It wasn't because of me. I didn't even do enough for them. I just left them.
"We know it was you," Diana says. "I remember you even if everything else is blurry. Jay even saw you before they knocked him out."
Jay was nodding vigorously. As if it would get me to admit.
"You also saved me," Robb smirks. He looked fine but some movements made him flinch.
I just stare down at my hands. I didn't know what to say.
"Not really, I think I made things worse."
"You can say that again," Magenta mumbles loud enough.
"Andrea," Ander grits out.
"What? At least she has the decency to admit it," Andrea shrugs his warning stares off.
I figure I should call them by their name.
"No, it's fine. I haven't really been around much. I mean it's not like any of you owe me anything. I rather say I'm debt free myself."
I look at Theo but he doesn't acknowledge me. Looks anywhere but me.
"You shouldn't be owing anything to anyone. If you did something because you felt it was the right thing to do then it wasn't a favor. It was an act of love. An act of caring enough to risk everything for someone. We don't count debts." Ander says. "We count memories."
I look at him for the first time. The intensity of his stare makes me shift in my seat. I know what he means but I still feel like we're not that close enough to consider each other friend's much less acquaintances.
"Ander said you got my necklace back for me, thank you," Diana says, gratefully.
"You're welcome," I smile genuinely at her.
"Are you seriously eating that?" Andrea tells a stunned Jay. He looks shameful as he's put in the spotlight as he tries to eat his tuna sandwich.
Jay shrugs, "it's not that bad. Want to try it?" He offers kindly.
Andrea's nose scrunches up. "No, thanks. Here eat this, I made plenty."
She takes out a container with turkey wraps. She had three of them full.
"No, thanks," Jay mumbles out. Clearly like before he did want to eat that but refused.
"Jay, stop being prideful and just eat," Andrea says pushing a container towards him.
He shakes his head pushing it back.
"Want to trade? I think you owe me a few lunches," I say taking mine out.
"What you got?" He asks me.
I smile as I take the two BLT's I had packed. I did make a lot but I had given two to Angie and John each as well.
He looks at them with hunger. He looks up at me and smirks. "Okay," he says reaching for them.
I push the container back towards me causing him to look at me in confusion.
"In order to get them I want every last one you have," I say nodding to his sandwich.
He ponders for a second before nodding in agreement. He pulls six of them out. Well now it seems like an unfair trade.
Ander takes a paper bag out. It was from a local burger joint. He starts to hand out burgers but Jay declines. Ander seemed like he wanted to protest but I interrupt him.
Reaching for the sandwiches I give Jay his BLTs. "Ander how about a trade?"
He looks at me confused. He was about to say something when I shake my head. It took him a minute but he played along. "What you got?"
"You can't afford what I got but I'm willing to give you this gem of a sandwich for that," I say pointing to his burger.
He looks as if he's thinking about it. "Hard bargain, deal."
We exchange and I give him two sandwiches for two burgers. They looked appetizing. I hand one to Jay but he was more than ready to decline.
"Jay, it wasn't a fair trade. I gave you two and you gave me six. It won't sit right with me to take advantage of you. Here," I tell him offering one of the burgers.
After a few minutes of bargaining he reluctantly takes it.
I smile as he moans as he eats.
In the corner of my eye I can see Ander eating one of the sandwiches. He seemed wary at first but like me he came to like them.
Looking down at my food I still had four sandwiches and a burger. I only manage to eat one of each.
"You can't be full already," Robb says.
I shrug. I would have eaten one more but I was still thinking about Mark.
"That's not healthy," Jay says with a mouth full.
I look up to see them all staring at me. Theo clearly isn't.
"I guess I'm not that hungry."
"Do you usually eat more?" Robb probes.
I was not liking this at all. I have never been judged for how much I ate. Mark does point it out here and there but he usually lets me be.
"Stop making her uncomfortable. She can eat as much or as little as she wants," Ander states.
He leans towards me, "close your eyes."
When I do he takes his shades back. I open my eyes to see him fiddling with them. He really didn't like wearing them.
"Okay, who has anymore food?" Ander asks. They all shake their head. "Wow, talk about disappointment."
He reaches for his bag and dumps its contents on the table. He has a lot of chips, candy, and chocolate bars. Not one school supply to be seen. Did he even go to class?
"Dig in, no I'm not taking nos," he tells Jay pointedly.
Jay smirks as he reaches in for some snacks.
I obviously don't reach for any of them.
Ander hands me a Milky Way as he keeps his attention towards the wooded area. I follow his gaze but don't see anything. He looks to me as he smiles still offering me the chocolate. I take it.
"Well I think it's time for me to go," Ander says getting up. "Make sure to eat more," he whispers in my ear.
The proximity and his voice make me shiver in a way I never knew possible.
He kisses me head as he steps behind me. I stiffen but as soon as I feel him putting his glasses back on me I relax. I turn to see him walk into the trees.
"Where is he going?" I ask.
"He's been summoned," Robb answers. I turn back to face them. Andrea looks worried.
Theo finally looks up. He had a worried expression as well. Which was now making me worry. "Is everything okay?"
Robb sensing something tries to put a bright smile on but fails. "Yeah, nothing to worry about."
I was worried.
They all start to get up to go somewhere leaving me and Theo. I don't look away from him as he stares blankly at me.
Before I could say anything he gets up. Looks at me in the eye and says, "I only did it because Ander would have wanted me to."
He did it for Ander. Got it. Didn't explain the other encounter though.
When I was getting the courage to ask he glares at me. The same way he had when he was in his wolf form. I stay quiet. He walks away to join the others.
I turn to see them all whisper. I know something is up. It hurts knowing that I wasn't worth including. I deserve that.
I needed to talk to Tristan.