TW: Self Harm
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Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
Why is it so noisy? My head hurts as I open my eyelids. The ceiling is white.
Glancing around, I gasp as I remember.
"Hans! I need to see Hans." I mutter desperately to myself, sitting up and trying to pull the drip tubes off my hands.
"Miss, please relax." A woman who is wearing a nurse uniform says calmly. "You can't move so much right now."
I glare at her. "What are you saying? I need to make sure Hans is alright."
"Miss, Hans is the man you were with?" She asks.
I nod, "Where is he?"
"He is safe. He had some minor external injuries but he is recovering. On the other hand, your situation is more serious." She explains slowly.
Confused, I stare at her, "What do you mean?"
"Unfortunately, we couldn't find your IDs during the crash so would you mind telling me your names please?" The nurse says gently.
"I'm Tina Gold. My friend is Hans Mild." I say quickly. "Can you explain what you mean about my situation? I feel fine."
She nods and walks closer to the bed. "Luckily, both you and the baby survived. If the ambulance came even a moment later, you would have lost your baby."
I laugh, "What are you saying? I don't have a baby."
The nurse stares at me seriously. "You are just over two months pregnant. We advise you to not move so much once you are discharged. The early stages of pregnancy are the most dangerous and you will have to be really careful."
I stare at her as if she is speaking in an alien language, "Did you not hear me? I told you I don't have a baby!"
The nurse places a hand on my arm and I instinctively flinch away from her touch. "Miss Tina, we have already informed your boyfriend and advised him on how to take care of you during these months."
She isn't making any sense. I don't know what she is talking about anymore.
"Boyfriend?" I frown. Who is she talking about? "Hans is awake?" I ask.
The nurse nods, "He woke up yesterday."
"I'll go see him then." I say and try to climb off the bed.
"No Miss Tina." The nurse says sternly. Her tone has changed from earlier. "I've already told you that it's dangerous for you to move." She glances around the room. "If you really must go, you will have to sit in a wheel chair."
I nod eagerly as she brings the wheel chair over to me and takes the drips off me before helping me sit inside. She wheels me down the corridors and I feel self conscious as the patients and nurses glance at me.
"Hans!" I shout excitedly as relief washes through me when I see his face.
His forest green eyes sparkle when he sees me and then travel to the wheel chair I am sat in. "Can we have some time alone please?" He asks the nurse who brought me and she leaves.
"You're fine right Hans? I was so worried and scared." I admit, holding his hand as I sit next to the bed.
He holds my hand comfortingly, "I am fine. It won't take long for me to recover." His eyes bear into mine as he speaks, "I'm more worried about you Tina. I don't know what to think. I don't know whether to be surprised or shocked."
I frown, "What are you on about? I couldn't understand what that nurse was saying earlier either. Something about a baby? But I don't have a baby!"
"Calm down first Tina." Hans says gently and squeezes my hand, "Take a deep breath and then exhale."
I do as he says, "Go on."
"You are two months pregnant Tina. You have a baby inside you now. I don't know how it happened but you'll have to be extra careful with yourself from now on." Hans smiles at me, "I know you don't want to tell me what happened but I'll always help you Tina."
My eyes are wide in shock. No! He is lying! Hans must be lying to me! What baby?! I can't have a baby! I have never...
Glancing around the room, I grab the fruit knife I see on the bedside drawer. Someone probably left it there.
"Tina, let go of it! What are you doing?! Tina!" Hans' loud shouting echoes in my ears but I can't think properly.
"Nurse! Come quickly, Tina is going to cut herself!"
The blood drips down from my wrist but I don't feel any pain. As I stare blankly at the red liquid, my vision blurs.
Waking up, I find my wrist is bandaged and I am back on my hospital bed. Attached to the drips and monitors again. The nurse from earlier shakes her head pitifully as she walks to me.
"How are you feeling Miss Tina?"
"My arm hurts." I say as I sit up.
"You went into shock and fainted whilst you were in Mr Hans' room earlier. You should rest for the next few days." She glances at the bandage, "Please don't do anything silly again."
"Tina!" Hans' voice suddenly enters the room as he walks in. He looks better. "How are you doing?" He checks me over.
"I'm fine. I just need to rest." I say reassuringly.
"You scared me Tina. Don't you dare think of any silly thoughts. I'll always look after you no matter what." He holds my hand gently, "I'll be the baby's father too if you want."
I shake my head. I am already a burden to Hans. I can't burden him with anything else. The baby's father can only be one man. But it's impossible for me to tell him. I can't return to that place anymore.
We live in completely different worlds. From the time apart, the previously blurred red line between us has become so much more clearer. Of course, there is still a possibility that the incident was due to someone else's ill intentions but I don't understand why he would now be close to the person who did it. How can I trust those people?
I absentmindedly touch my stomach. "Thank you Hans but I can't burden you again."
He shakes his head, "It's not a burden silly. It would be a honour instead. How do you plan to explain to your father and Mint? You can't hide it forever Tina." He glances at my stomach.
I know Hans is right. I only have a few months before everyone will find out.