"So, your really moving out?"
I pick up my only box of belongs and put it in the trunk of my aunt's car.
"Yep." I turn around to the girls standing outside the pack house with me, looking sad. "Don't pout, guys."
Hanna is the first to run over and give me a hug.
"I'm sorry for being so emotional. I'm going to miss you," Hanna says, crying into my shoulder.
"My house is only 10 minutes away and I'll see you in school. No need for the dramatics," I tell her, laughing.
"Doesn't change how much we'll miss you staying a couple doors down from us." Chris says and joins the hug.
Jaisley stands awkwardly behind us from a couple of feet.
"What are you doing just standing there? Join the hug," I tell her. She acts stubborn for a couple of seconds, but joins us eventually.
"You sure you don't need help with anything?" I jump in shock from Don's unexpected appearance.
"I don't need help. I promise." He gives a little nod and smiles.
Petra walks out from the pack house and walks over to us.
"You ready to go, Anne?" The others whine at me having to go.
"Yeah." I see Alaric standing far on the porch of the house and I say a quick goodbye to everyone, wanting to get away as fast as I can.
I watch Alaric's eyes follow the car as we drive off.
"So, did you talk to Alaric? He seemed quieter than usual today." Petra's stuffing her face with donuts while she speaks.
"No," I simply tell her. She takes a pause, almost choking on the donuts. She almost crashes the car.
"What?! I thought that's what you were going to do. You wrote a letter and everything."
"I burned it. I found out something I shouldn't have." I slump in my seat and out of nowhere, Petra swerves the car onto the side of the road and parks.
"Hey! What are you doing," I screeched.
"Tell me what happened."
"You pulled over so that you could hear gossip," I ask her in an accusing tone.
"I just like to know everything that's going on."
"Fine. Gianna is pregnant too. I overheard them talking and Gianna asked him what do you want the name of OUR baby to be." I waited for her responds and it came after a breathy sigh.
"I don't even know what to say. What do you plan on doing? Hide the pregnancy from Alaric? Are you going to tell your dad?"
"Actually, I decided on something else." I tried to sound strong, but my voice cracks.
"Oh, honey. Don't worry. Anything you decide to do, I'm here for you." She pulls me into her arms and it breaks a dam inside of me. I start to cry.
"You don't understand. You'll think I'm a murderer." She pulls away from me a little to see my face.
"You want to get an abortion?" I couldn't tell if she was mad at me or not. I just nod my head.
"Okay," she says slowly. I could tell she didn't like what I was doing, but was hiding it.
"It just doesn't make sense to keep the baby. I don't want to stress Alaric with having two babies," I tell her, not being able to look in her eyes, scared of disappointing her.
"But how do you feel? Forget about Alaric."
"Petra, I have my whole life ahead of me. I'm only 17. I can't have a baby. My dad would never allow that."
"I know for a fact your dad would support you. You wouldn't be alone. You have us. So, what's the real reason? Have you allowed yourself to think about it?"
The fact is I haven't allowed myself to think about. I will never allow myself to. I'm not going to allow myself to get attached to this child inside of me. If I do, all hell will break loose.
What life will I be giving this baby? I can't even stop myself from hurting others or blacking out, and half the time I can't even tell if what I'm hearing or seeing is real.
My mind is fucked up past repair. I can't raise a child.
"No baby should be raised by a schizophrenic mother. That's not a life I would wish on my worst enemy. This baby has no future with a mother like me."
"Okay. I won't stress you anymore. It's your choice, but let me tell you this. Everyone has obstacles to get around. No one is perfect. You have a heart of gold and that's what matters. Your the best option that baby has and if you can't take of it, no one can."
She starts the car again and pulls away from the curb of the road. We stay silent the whole ride.
What she said echoed in my head, but the doubts pushed it way and told me that an abortion was the best option.
I don't have the right to damn this baby into this kind of life.