Positive.
One word I didn't think would bring me down so much. I always thought of it in a good sense, but this wasn't good.
"Anne." Everything around me was muffled as if my brain were a phone with bad signal.
My heart was thumping in my ears and I was looking back at myself through the mirror.
Is my stomach already growing or am I seeing things?
I stared at my stomach and it moves.
"Did you see that," I ask Petra. "It moved."
"Your only three weeks, Anne. There's no way you could see the baby move." It didn't matter what she said. I still stared in disbelief as I watched it tare through me.
I screamed in pain as I watched the baby fall out of my womb and splatter on the bathroom floor. There's blood everywhere and I stared in disbelief. My stomach is ripped open and the baby lays lifeless.
"Anne, calm down! Tell me what you see." Petra was shaking me by my shoulders and I'm petrified by what I see happening in front of my eyes.
"P-petra! Blood everywhere!" I couldn't speak and my body was trembling. "The baby fell out of my stomach! You see it, right?!"
"It isn't real, Anne! Please, just breathe and focus. Your fine. Nothing is going to happen to you and the baby."
I closed my eyes and took deep breathes like she said. When I opened my eyes again, everything was back to normal.
"Fuck! This is really messing with my head."
"Hey! It's alright. We'll figure it out. That's what I'm here for. Let's get out of this house. You need some fresh air." Petra burns the pregnancy tests in her hand for no one to find and takes me out of the house.
"Where are we going," I ask her. She just sat me in her car and started driving. She was weaving through traffic and it was highly terrifying.
"Put your seatbelt on." That's all she says to me. I obey and just try to focus on not vomiting due to the high velocity of the car.
My head felt like it was going to explode. I've never felt this bad before. It was like the embryo was intensifying my schizophrenia. It was burning a hole through my brain and I couldn't tell what was real and what wasn't anymore.
"Help me, Petra," I whine. Tears were running down my face from the excruciating pain in my head. She held my hands to soothe me.
"We're almost there, Anne. It's all in your head. Don't think about the pain."
"That's much easier said than done! AHHHH!" I get another flash of pain, but it went past my brain and travels through my whole body.
My eyes were starting to droop and I can't hold them open because of all the pain.
"Stay with me, Anne!" Hearing once again leaves me and eyesight follows.
"Anne," I heard a sweet voice call out for me, with a tinge of an accent. It was very familiar.
My eyes opened slowly and I was surrounded by warm light. A woman sat next to me on the soft grass. Her eyes didn't match mines, but I knew who she was.
"Mom?" I got up from my lying position on the floor and threw my arms around her. She's as warm as I remember her to be. She wraps me in her arms and plays with my hair.
"Finally, I've been able to get to you. I've missed you so much."
"I know this is a dream, but this feels so good," I say, blubbering with stupid tears running down my face. She pulls me away from her a little bit to look at me.
"This isn't a dream, princess." Her eyes were watering, but she was still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.
"No. It's all in my head," I say, shaking my head in disbelief. She kisses my forehead and I melt in her arms.
"You've grown so much, honey. I wish I can always be there for you."
She's a little older than she was when she died, as if she still aged after death.
Although she was older, you could only see it in her eyes. Age shown through wisdomsic eyes. Her skin didn't look like a day over 20 and her hair didn't hold any gray strands.
I knew this wasn't real, but this was the closest I'd ever been with my mother in about a decade.
"Mom, I have something important to tell you," I start off. I felt that I had to tell her everything. I never lied to my mom. I could never do it when she was on this Earth and I still can't seem to do it now.
"What is it? You can tell me anything." I looked her in the eyes and I knew what she said was the truth.
She's the only person I can talk to about anything.
"I'm pregnant."
She takes a pause and I feel tears forming in my eyes at the thought of disappointing her.
"Congrats," she tells me, giving me a hug. I'm shocked by a long shot.
Before I would have thought my mom would be mad at me for not completing high school or going to college before getting pregnant. It was always an education before boys and I agreed to that rule even after she died.
But I messed up.
"Why aren't you mad," I ask her.
"I can't be mad because of the choices you made. I've taught you the best that I could have and this is your life to live. A baby brings joy, so why should I make your life miserable by making you feel bad about your decisions?"
"What if I want to get rid of it?"
"That would be your decision to make. I'm happy with any path you decide to take. I'll always be here. I wouldn't dream for my daughter to be any other way. I love you."
We stay in a comfortable silence for some time while she plays in my hair.
"Have you talked to the father of the baby? Do you want to tell him?"
The question makes something click in my head that I hadn't thought about before.
I forgot about telling Alaric and now it was going to be tough to debate on if I should tell him.
He was getting married to Gianna and that was going to be a difficulty on it's own.
How would he even react? He has his own duties to his pack and I can't put a burden of a baby on him.
"Let me rephrase the question. Do you care for him?"
"Of course I do," I tell her with no hesitation.
"Would you want someone that cares for you to lie or hide the truth from you?" I shake my head no.
"Then there's your answer."
After she mutters those words, everything, including her, disappears and I gasp for air.
I wake up in a pool of water. The first thing I notice is the darkness. I realize I'm in a dark forest and there's an assortment of flowers floating in the water around me.
"Your awake." I turn to Petra who's sitting under a tree. Fireflies are fluttering around. I look around in confusion at the fast turn of events.
"What was that?" I get out of the river bank, my clothes dripping wet, and walk over to her.
"You can say it was a dream. Did you get the answer you were looking for?" I look at her confused, waiting for more explanation.
"This forest is magical. It allows you into a dream state where the person or thing that comforts you the most is able to give you your most needed answers."
Deep in her eyes, I could tell she knew I saw my mom.
Who else would it be?
"Yeah, I got my answer. Thank you."
"No problem. So, what are your next steps?"
"I'm going to talk to Alaric."