I find it crazy that your body can allow you to throw up when your stomach is completely empty.
At the moment, I was crouched over my toilet, spilling my guts out. I didn't eat anything yesterday because my mind was on a rampage with all its new found information. All the gas from not eating practically exploded inside me and brung up everything that was left in my stomach.
"Anne, we're about to leave for school," I heard Hanna at my door.
"I'll be out soon! Wait for me," I screamed with my head still in the toilet. I get up and flush, planning to brush my teeth over again.
After I fix myself up, I grab my bag and run outside to the girls.
"You look like shit," Jaisley points out what I already know.
"Thank you for pointing that out. I'm trying on this new aesthetic. Do you like it?"
"Anne, be real with us. Is this about Alaric? You can tell us how your feeling." I turn to Chris who had purple eyes today, signaling that she was on her time of the month.
Today is probably not the day to mess with her.
"What can I say? We had sex and that's it. I just haven't eaten for 24 hours and I'm really starving."
"Your in luck. I have a banana." Hanna shows it to me from the driver's seat.
"Mmmm, I don't like banana," I tell her. Chris turns to me with disbelief on her face.
"I saw you eating one a week ago."
"Well, I don't want one today."
"Why are you being so picky? You said you were hungry," Jaisley adds.
"Can you stop at that caribbean restaurant five minutes away from school, so I can get breakfast? We have enough time before school starts," I suggest to Hanna.
"Since when do you eat caribbean food for breakfast?"
"Just take me before I pass out, Hanna." After what feels like forever, Hanna parks in front of the small restaurant.
"I'll be right back." I run out of the car before any of them could follow me. When I got to the counter, a lady greeted me and asked me for my order.
"Can I get the full caribbean style breakfast?" She writes it down and asks me if that's it. I add a couple more things to my order and she gives it to the chef.
Being here reminded me of my mother. I don't know why, but something pushed me into wanting to be closer to my mother's culture. I was feeling overly emotional today and it was probably because of yesterday's event.
When I was having a bad day, she'd make me comfort food and it was close enough to what was being served here. She'd bring me joy with her caribbean accent and stuff me with food, but of course, we shared the food amongst ourselves, as if we were sharing each other's pain.
Ever since she died, I haven't been connected much to this side of myself, and I feel horrible about it. I'm always reminded that there are two halves to me when I look in the mirror. My mother's brown skin mixed with my father's white skin. My eyes a different shade of green from my father because of the mix it made with my mom's brown ones. My mothers full lips and petite nose shining through me. My father's bone straight, brown hair and my mothers thick, coily, 4c black hair bonding to make a 3c, curly, dark brown haired girl.
Beautiful mix, isn't it?
"Order for Anne." I turned around to see one of the employees holding my order in a to go paper bag.
"Thank you." I brag my food and jog back outside to the girls. They all stared in delite at all the food cradled in my arms.
"My goodness! Will you be sharing that," Hanna asked. It reminded me of how much of a monster she is when it comes to food.
"Of course." I divide all the food evenly among us, like my mom did in the past. We all had a free first period because we had all our credits for that class. If I wanted to, I didn't have to go back to school. I had all my credits now and just needed my diploma. My schedule was changed and the classes they gave me were for college preparation or I could use them as free periods.
My last year of high school was almost over.
We decided to have a picnic in the nearby park and chill.
"Fish for breakfast," Chris asks, suspiciously.
"It's caribbean style. Trust me, it's good. I laugh at her scared facial expression as she digs in for a taste. She groans in delight when she tastes the spices from the fish.
"Thisissogood," I hear Hanna say with her mouth stuffed. I decipher it as her saying the food is good. Her face was covered in crumbs from the meat patties.
"Your such a messy eater, babe." Jaisley goes to kiss the crumbs off of Hanna's face and Chris and I make gagging noises.
"What's with the new found love for caribbean food," Chris asks, while I eat my boiled plantain.
"Caribbean food is my comfort food."
"So, you admit that something is bothering you?" I hadn't realized, but Chris just tricked me into telling her I wasn't really ok.
I feel a warmth next to me and it startles me, but no one seems to notice. On the right side of me, I see my mother. She's rubbing my back and telling me it's ok to feel, like she did when I was only a little pea. It's weird to have her say something nice in my head like she did when she was still on earth. She's usually saying something cruel in my head.
"Your right. I'm not ok. I'll admit that I like Alaric and I can't stand the sight of him with that frosty looking bitch. I want to tear her throat out or set her head a flame. But there's nothing I can really do about it. She's future luna and she'll be protected at all cost. They've been planning their marriage since practically birth."
"I think your wrong. It's not like Alaric loves her. It's an arrange marriage and it can always be canceled. Plus, Alaric has changed a lot because of you and obviously likes you because he was willing to give you his virginity," Hanna says.
"You sure he was a virgin? It sure didn't seem like it from what I saw through your memories," Chris says, a shiver running through her. "It's magical how your able to walk right now." The other girls laugh and I just roll my eyes.
"If you love him, then there's nothing stopping you from trying. So, do you love him," Jaisley asks, and everyone gets quiet, waiting for my answer.
What's with all the pressure? It's making me sweat.
"It doesn't matter because that marriage will only end if Alaric finds his mate and I'm not his mate."