Our families were around us. Drinks were poured and flowing nicely- the twins were passed around like presents at a party. But I guess everyone had to have their own cuddles.
I just felt over whelmed; I knew it was my post pregnancy hormones coming through ... I was thankful I had Frankie. Leytons sister to speak with about this as she went through similar.
"You're doing great already, April. It's a hard job parenthood. You seem overwhelmed?" She questioned. "Thanks Frankie. I am a little, but I guess that is the post pregnancy hormones. I wanted to get everyone together at once so me and Ley, could have our time together with the twins ..." I twiddled my fingers together. Anxiously.
"You've got this, I promise. Why don't you step inside for a breather, I'll watch the twins and so will your mom." I was reluctant but I knew if I didn't I would end up having some sort of breakdown.
I saw Frankie walk over to Leyton I knew she would tell him. I saw him immediately hand Frankie, Aubrey before following me inside.
"April, are you ok?" He asks as I pour myself a water. "Yeah .... yeah I'll be fine ..." I sighed shaking as I lifted the glass to my lips. Leyton immediately removed the glass and placed my face in his hands.
"Look at me ... you've got this. You are an incredible mother; it's overwhelming I get that. Don't be afraid to take time for yourself baby, I've got you"
"But ... I don't wanna fail as a mother, Leyton. I mean I knew it would be difficult but not this hard" I sighed leaning my head against his chest. Just hearing his heartbeat, and his arms wrap around me I felt instantly calm.
"You've just given birth to twins, it's double the feeds double the nappies ... your experiencing parent hood twice as much as anyone! Your bound to get like this but don't ever ever feel like you have failed as a mom. I won't let you ... they will be the most loved children anyone could ever ask for ... I will carry you until the day you say no!"
His pep talks always worked and had a meaning. "I wouldn't be able to do al of this without you ... your my rock through this. I love you more than you'll ever know, mr Stevens"
—
I took a breather for a further 20 minutes before rejoining everyone outside. I had a catch up with my family as I knew they were going back home today.
"I'm so proud of you ... pril you know that" my dad says as he sits in awe of Alfie in his arms. His little tiny hand wrapped around my dads finger.
"Thanks daddy. It's all thanks to you ... you've shown me in life to go for it never be afraid"
"And I will always continue to tell you that. As well as my grand babies"
I placed a kiss upon his soft bald head and watched as I could see the love in his eyes for the tiny baby laying asleep in his arms.
"Hey mom." I smiled as she walks on over. I look around and see Jennie was holding Aubrey. "Hey honey, how are you?" She asked concerned. "Fine. I promise" I had to lie. I couldn't have her worrying back home. I knew I would be fine.
"Are you sure?" "Yes mom, honestly I'll be fine. It's all new isn't it, I'm just tired! But I love it .. I do have to thank you though. For accepting Leyton" her eyes glistened at his name. "Oh he's always welcome sweetie. You know that" she smiles.
"I know I mean after all that with his mom, I guess he looks at you like a mom ..." her face blushed she always liked him. "He'll always be special to us as much as he is to you"
It's moments like these that I'm thankful I have family around me ... I'm fortunate enough to have everything I possibly need.
It was 6pm by the time everyone left, my family left at 4 as they had to drive home but I promised we would go visit soon enough when I felt comfortable enough to travel a long distance with the twins.
Jane cleared everything up whilst myself and Leyton got Alfie and Aubrey bathed and ready for bed, I've always read routine is key. Even though they are still young, it's great to try that way they'll get used to a certain routine in no time.
Laying in bed after the first night feed of the night I got my planner out, my wedding planner I started making ideas.
"Where did you want to get married?" I ask as Leyton sits beside me.
"Wherever you are I am, this is your special day" he placed a light kiss upon my fore head.
"The islands of Mauritius? It's incredibly beautiful ..." I smile as I imagine what it would be like.
"If that's where you want it ... that's where it will be .."
"So much planning to do. And we haven't got a date!"
"Three months?"
Was he kidding me? "What? Three months?"
"A long engagement is great, but I don't want to waste no time in calling you my wife" he winked.
God he was so freaking hot.
"Three months it is."
I wrote that in big letters. Three months. And loads of planning, maybe I need a wedding planner?
—
I hired a wedding planner it was the best option especially when all my attention was on Aubrey and Alfie at the minute.
She was fabulous though always made sure I had the last word before making the bookings. It certainly took weight off of my shoulders.
The twins were growing every single day, it's true what they say! They grow so quickly you're afraid to even blink.
We went on our first walk together as a family through the park and back it was beautiful until of course the press caught us! Thankfully we was right by our home so they couldn't snap any photos! I guess I'll never be ready for all that side especially not with the children.
"Baby, I've got to head to the office? Something important has come up wil you be ok for an hour?" Leyton reluctantly asked.
"Of course. I have Jane if I need help but I'll be fine you go ..."
"I love you" he whispered as his lips met mine.
I guess with Leyton being gone for a bit it gives me the chance to see what it will be like when he does eventually go back to work.
I know I can do this, but something is telling me I can't?