Leyton had left for the office to do some work.
The twins were sleeping. However, they were due a feed-in less than an hour ... I started to feel all panicked. I took a few deep breaths and stepped outside for some fresh air taking the monitor with me so I can hear when they woke up!
I have Jane, but I wanted to do this alone. I needed to show myself I can do this.
I prepared the bottles and set them aside to cool down, whilst preparing dinner for myself and Leyton this evening. My wedding planner had emailed me over the seating plan, and decorations for the wedding in Mauritius. It was beautiful. It was right by the water, the color scheme was crystal white, it went well with the blue sea.
I agreed with her plans before seeing to the twins who were awake. "Hello my babies" I beamed a smile, they both kicked their legs in sync I picked up Alfie and then Aubrey, I managed to get downstairs and sit them both on the sofa, secure and safe before getting their bottles and feeding them both. So far, it was good but I wasn't going to jinx myself.
The hardest part was the nappy changes, however, I managed to succeed in this area while they were both distracted by the television. Thank god for tv. "Miss James ... is everything ok?" Jane smiled. "Do you need anything?" "We're fine thank-you, Jane. All good, I'll give you a shout if I do" I smile back. I don't know why I was so worried, everything is going great. Although usually, that means something goes wrong. And I just knew because it was me, that it probably will go wrong.
And it did. Not even an hour in, and the twins were screaming, I burnt my hand on dinner, the bottles were not clean, it was like everything changed in the space of an hour how was this even freaking possible. Honestly; I couldn't settle them. Nothing was working. "April?" Leyton was home. Thank god!! "Hey, what's happened here!" He asked looking concerned. "They won't stop crying!!" I was frantic, he came over and took them from my arms! I wiped the tears from my eyes and headed outside and sat down. I felt like a failure, I failed my own children. "Jane can you take the twins, I'm gonna check on April," Leyton says with concern. "Baby, what happened!?"I don't know. Everything was fine. ... I've failed them, Leyton!" "Don't talk silly, you have not failed them. You're emotionally exhausted. You have twins." "I couldn't even settle my own children, what kind of a mother can't do that" I cried. "A normal mother, who is exhausted. April, you are a wonderful mother, and they know that. They could sense you were stressed; they're fine now! ..." he took my hands I flinched slightly to which he saw my hand "what the hell?" "I burnt myself on dinner" I mumbled. "look. Go upstairs, shower, and sleep. I will sort dinner out, and get the twins to bed" "No. I cannot let you do all that!" "I'm not asking I'm telling, go!" He kissed my head lightly. And watched me walk up the stairs before he continued what he said he was going to do. I let the water run down my body as i just thought about the events that happened today. I know many many mums go through what i have today but i just felt so alone. I slept for two hours before getting up for dinner. My hand was still throbbing, however being the nurse that i am, I knew it was just sore. But i had to keep an eye on it incase it got worse. "Right, feet up. I'll clean up!" Leyton smiled clearing the plates away. "No, you have done enough let me .." "April, This is our house, we both live here if i want you to rest then please do as your told" he smirked rolling his eyes. God, he was so attractive i still do not understand how i managed to get such an amazing man as my partner. and future husband.
"Kia emailed me the wedding plans today, its all coming along perfectly," I got the email up on my phone to show Leyton the future plans. "Anything for you, as long as you are at the end walking up to become my wife i'll be happy with whatever is chosen" He smiled softly. "I will be. and i cannot wait to become Mrs Stevens ... 10 weeks and counting" I sighed with a smile holding his hands across my stomach as we lay watching the fire burning in the fireplace and the tv in the background. This right here was the future, Us our babies and our home ... for now this was right now. I was excited to what the future was holding.