I put my pencil down on the wooden desk, my breath whooshing out of my lungs in relief. Looking at the pile of stapled papers that form my last exam, an overwhelming feeling of calmness soothes my body. I twist in my chair, packing up my materials to get ready to go. Standing up, eyes dart towards me. I'm not the first one done, but there are multiple people still working. Down two steps, I hand my professor the packet. With a brief thank you from both parties, I walk out the door like a new woman. I am finally done with exams for a while and I can breathe again.
As soon as I step out of the building, a chill racks through my body. Fall is passing quickly and winter's weather is making itself very known. I pull my sweater closer to my body and spot Damon walking out of the cafeteria.
Despite not going to school here, he insists that he stays here during the day when I have classes. When he told me that he would protect me from now on, he wasn't joking. It's been over a week and he still won't let me go to my apartment by myself. I have tried to convince him multiple times, but after having a panic attack when we went to pick up my bag the next day, he decided that I needed to be taken care of and protected until I am better and he deems it safe for me to be alone again.
Honestly, having him around at first was so frustrating. I was always stepping on his heels and we would argue because I couldn't even take a shower by myself. But after feeling like my lungs stopped working, I have slowly learned to appreciate having him around. I can talk to him whenever I want, I'm eating two homemade meals a day, and whenever we pass that alley right before the parking lot, he grabs my hand and tilts my head to look at him. He tells me the funniest thing that he saw during that day to make me laugh and when we get to the car, it's as if the alley didn't even exist. Even though I haven't had another panic attack because of his help, I can't stand that he walks on eggshells with me. We don't watch horror or action movies anymore, he only lets me go inside a building after he enters first and makes sure everything seems orderly. He even goes into the girl bathroom to make sure only girls are in there!
That side of him, the very very caring side of him is driving me nuts. I want him to treat me the way he used to, but be around more. I enjoy his company more than anticipated, but I'm not a baby. I can do something for myself.
Tapping him on the shoulder, he quickly swivels around, a distrustful glint in his eye and a ready-to-pounce stance. He's intimidating and taller than most, even when sitting down.
I raise my hands in surrender, "it's only me. Calm down."
His body relaxes, his large stature deflating a little. "How did the exam go?"
Everyone has been on edge lately, but Damon has been jumpy and looking for a fight since he had to catch me before I fainted from a lack of oxygen. I wish I could take the pressure off of him and make him relax, even for one night.
"It went well, I think. I wasn't the first one done, but I wasn't the last so that makes me feel a little better.
"You know, I was thinking that maybe we can do something tonight, either just us or with Amelia and Brandon. We haven't been out in a little over a week and I want to do something. Take a break and just relax."
Did I mention that he won't let me go out anywhere aside from university and my job?
"I don't know, Rose. This isn't a good time for you to be going anywhere."
I knew he would say this. "Please! What if it's just us and we go away for the weekend somewhere. What about your favorite spot? I haven't been there in a while."
"Rose…"
"Damon, please!" I say exasperated. "No one even knows where the cabin is. I'm safer there than in the apartment! Plus, you'll be there with me if anything happens. It will be great. We will watch movies and eat dinner by the fireplace like we did with Brandon. I promise it will be a lot of fun. Please? I don't want to be trapped inside the apartment anymore."
For a few tense seconds, neither of us says anything. Impatiently, I wring my hands together (a nervous tick) and chew on my lip. I didn't realize how much I actually felt trapped until I said it aloud.
"I have a different idea. How about we go away for the weekend? Just you and me. It will be our second date."
I don't hesitate in saying "yes."
Climbing in the car, a small smirk makes its way onto my face. Not only am I getting out of the apartment, but I am also getting out of this city and going on another date with Damon. I have been waiting for him to ask me out again, considering I'm too shy and nervous to ask him out, since the moment our first one ended.
We both walk into the apartment building, thoughts bouncing in our heads. Walking side-by-side, our fingers brush against each other. Instinctively, they curl around each other. Looking up at him, he looks down at me with a tender smile on his face. An emotion crosses his face so quickly I don't have time to catch it.
"What?" I ask, hoping to know what he's thinking.
"It's just that, ever since my mother died, I have never had a close relationship with another girl. I mean, I've been close to a lot of girls." Silence. Now I know what he's thinking. He has the I-should-have-cut-my-tongue-off-years-ago look. Honestly, we don't speak about our recent past, and hearing this was a shock. I guessed that he had been with other girls. He's strong, handsome, smooth (for the most part), and protective, what girl wouldn't want him, but hearing him say it out loud, made my stomach twist and jealousy shoot through me. I've never been with someone before and I know I will remember it forever, who doesn't remember their first time, but will I just blend it with the rest of the girls he has been with?
"That came out wrong. I didn't mean to say that. Let me try again," he rambles. "All I was trying to say was that after my mom died, I was never close to another girl because I was always afraid of getting hurt. I used them and then kicked them out right after. I know that sounds bad… and I don't do that anymore. Not that I'm having sex anymore. Wait," taking a deep breath, he collects himself. "This is coming out all wrong. I was scared to get attached because I didn't want to get hurt again. Since meeting you, I have grown so attached that when you called me and told me what happened, I- I was scared. I should have been there to protect you. I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you. We have only known each other for a very brief period of time, but I- I really like you, Rose. I"m happy that this," he says, holding our joined hands up, "comes naturally to us. I don't want to lose this."
My heart stutters, all my previous thoughts vanish in an instant. I never would have guessed that he felt this way. I mean, I figured he liked me since he asked me out and kissed me, but I didn't realize that that night affected him as much as it affected me. I didn't know I meant so much to him.
I don't know what to say. Instead, I stand up on my tiptoes, and chastely kiss his lips. I want to express everything that I'm feeling- the fear, anger, helplessness, my like for him- in our kiss. He deepens it, his tongue coaxing my mouth to open. I obey, helplessly in the trance that he always seems to put me in.
We break apart after what only seems like seconds, but was actually a very good few minutes, panting for breath. "I like you, a lot. When I first really started to get to know you, I was just looking for a friend, but getting to know you more, I want to have a future with you where we wake up in bed together and have our routines in our home together. I know this sounds crazy, and it is, but I want to spend the rest of my future with you because I know that you will always protect me and treat me like I am one of the strongest fragile things in your life."
The ding of the elevator breaks the trance we were both in, but our eyes never stray and we walk, both with goofy smiles on, into his apartment and spend the rest of the night cuddling in his bed watching rom-coms before we fall asleep in each other's arms.