Choking on my spit, I slam the door in his face. A faint "hey" penetrates through the wood. I whip around to look at Amelia whose jaw sits on the floor.
"I thought you said that you guys broke up!"
"We did." She takes a long pause, lost in her thoughts. "At least I thought we did."
My eyes bulge out of my head at her response. She thought they did?! How do you not know if you are in a relationship or not?
Taking a few deep breaths in, I reign in my shock and focus on the question at hand. "Amelia, do you want to be in a relationship with him?"
She doesn't hesitate with her answer. "Of course I do! Have you not been listening this whole time? I love him, damn it!"
Her voice is full of conviction and raw emotion. It is so easy to see how much she does love him. That definitely explains her erratic behavior earlier. I know she said that she was worried about him coming here with another girl, but I didn't expect her to like him this much. The way she loves him is the we-are-going-to-get-married type.
An impatient knock on the door breaks us both out of our trances. Amelia has a goofy smile on her face and I- well I- I'm so happy for her, but jealous at the same time. I want this with Damon. So bad. At my age, I want to be getting married soon and having children. I don't want the puppy kind of love anymore. I want the stable-I'll-love-you-forever kind. Amelia opens the door, I wave the Duke and make my way into her bedroom to give them a little peace and quiet. Plus, I want to talk to Damon. I don't want to wait. I know that this is totally irrational and stupid, but I can see him in my future. Why wait for something that is going to happen anyway? It's a waste of time.
The phone rings, one, two, three times before going to voicemail. I can't help the pang of disappointment that shoots through my body. I- It's probably better that he didn't pick up. I just wanted to let everything out. I'm tired of bottling up everything. I want to declare my love for him from the rooftop of our apartment, on an altar with both of our families watching, after seeing our first child and when we are both old and sitting on rocking chairs on our porch watching our grandchildren play in the front yard with the puppy we gave them as a birthday present.
I jump, startled as my phone rings. Looking down at the rectangular screen, Damon's picture flashes, and a smile automatically lifts my lips.
"Hey!" I say, a little too enthusiastically. I clear my throat and try again. "Hey. What's up?"
"Hey, baby. You called. Is everything okay?"
My heart skips a beat. Do I really want to do this? What if he wants to run?
"I… uh… um… just wanted to let you know that Amelia's boyfriend, Duke is here. … And the party starts around 8. Are you going to be able to come?"
"Yes, baby. I will be there. I told you that after you texted me earlier. Are you sure everything is okay?"
No, but how do I tell you, over the phone no less, that I want to wait to marry you? I have seen almost all of the sides of you and I love every single one of them. Well, maybe not every single one, but most of them. I love the time we spend together and I am ready to start my future with you. Now and forever.
"Rose?"
"Yea.. Yes. Yes, I'm okay. Hey, Amelia is calling me. I'll see you at 8?"
"I'll see you at 8, baby."
Hanging up, I press my head against the wall. He has to know that something is up. Why did I have to be so obvious about it? What do I say to him when I see him later? Do I just ignore my ill-timed epiphany of wanting to spend forever with him?
Climbing into Amelia's bed, I pull the covers over me and plug in my headphones to drown out my thoughts. Telling him anything, this early on is not a good idea.
I close my eyes and slowly drift to sleep as the music continues its sweet rhythm in my ear.
"Rose?... Rose? Rose, wake up. The party started already. You're missing it!"
Jolting awake from a violent shake on my arm, Amelia blocks my whole view. I groan and try to roll over to get away from her, but she's too quick and grabs me so I'm facing her again.
"The party started. Get out there and go mingle. I'm sure Damon will be here soon."
Hearing his name wipes all the sleep from my body. I forgot I had to see him.
All at once, the loudness of the music paired with multiple voices lapped together reaches my ears. It's too much. I just want to go somewhere quiet and sleep all day, but I promised Amelia I would be here and I intend to keep my promise.
"I'll be out in a minute, let me freshen up."
Smiling triumphantly, she leaves the room and I walk into her en-suite bathroom. Looking into the mirror, my makeup looks like it did when I just put it on, but my hair needs a brush to untangle the knots.
Quickly doing that, I rinse out my mouth with mouthwash and go through her room, stopping at the door that separates me from the party. And Damon.
I know I'm hesitant to see him now, but I know the minute I see him, all of my walls will come down and I will want to be closer to him and never leave his side. It's a conflict I have struggled with ever since I met him. I don't always want to see him, but the minute I do I cannot get enough.
"I can do this. It's just Damon, I see him all the time. I have this. Just act normal."
Closing my eyes, I place my hand on the doorknob and slowly turn it. The door opens a crack and music blasts into the room, taking up all the space.
I have to go out. I cannot just stay in here all night, hiding the man that I love who also lived across from me. It's pointless to hide, he will always be able to find me.
Opening the door, the volume of the music hits me in the face. For a small gathering, there are a lot of bodies dancing, eating, and talking. I watch as more people walk in. My eyes stop wandering when they spot him. He's tall, almost taller than everyone else in the heavily-packed room. His black hair is neatly gelled back and the black dress shirt he's wearing compliments his blue eyes. He looks so handsome. As if I'm in a trance, my feet carry me to him.
"Hi."
"Hey."
He pulls me into his body, holding me close. "I missed you today."
"You saw me 12 hours ago!" I say, more surprised than anything. It's sweet, he's sweet. How can I not want to marry the man who makes sure I know that he misses me when we saw each other less than 12 hours ago?
"I love you," I blurt out, not for the first time. Standing up on my tiptoes, I gently press my lips to his. He doesn't hesitate to kiss me back, deepening the kiss rather quickly
"I love you more."
Before I have a chance to reply, Amelia parts through the crowd with Duke slightly trailing behind her, her hand in his.
"Rose, I would like to introduce you to my boyfriend Duke. Duke, this is my best friend Amelia."
I guess, she decided on whether she did want to be a couple with him. I'm not surprised by her answer, but I still don't understand how she didn't know that they were still dating.
"Hi, it's nice to meet you." I hold out my hand for him to shake.
"It's nice to meet you too. I've heard a lot about you from Amelia over here." He smiles at my hand and pulls me in for a hug instead. I tense and awkwardly wrap my arms around him. From the corner of my eye, I see Damon puff out his chest, his shoulders broadening automatically. I smile and lightly laugh under my breath.
He lets go of me and less than a moment later, Damon pulls me into his side, his arm around my waist. I put my hand on top of his and caress his knuckles. His body starts to relax as he looks down at me, a small smile on his face.
"I heard that you have been abroad for schooling? Where did you go? Are you happy to be back?"
And just like that, the conversations flows easily for us throughout the night. We didn't notice as people started to leave nor did we realize that the sun was coming up.
If there is anything I realized while talking, it is the fact that relationships do survive, while I think it is a waste of time to not marry Damon when I see him in my future, he will always be here. We have all the time in the world to explore our relationship further and maybe even create our own little family one day.