"I'm happy that you finally met her," Ian said
"But do you consider to pray and fast it first? This Wednesday will be the start of midyear prayer and fasting in our church," he continued.
"Yes, I remember," I replied.
"I should be now listing my prayer request right away and send in our small group chat group," I continued.
**********
When I arrived home, I started writing my prayer requests for this event.
I put there about breakthroughs in my career, finances, ministry. I also put there the salvation of my family and being a good witness for Jesus in my neighborhood and workplace.
But the last but not the least, about my feelings on Rachel.
After that, I made another poem for her again.
To someone that I just met
You know that I did not regret
When I hold your hand that night
While the stars shining so bright
I thanked God, it happened finally
To meet this simple, pretty lady
It just started in a prayer actually
But He answered it unexpectedly
When would be that we meet again?
Or where would we bump in a lane?
I patiently waiting each other day
Hoping to meet you again someday
I just want to be friends with you
At least for now if you want to
For this is my fervent prayer
And only God knows if you are my forever
When I am about to end, I felt sleepy, but I just need to do something on my Facebook. I need to add Rachel as a friend. I just hope she will accept my friend request soon.
I smiled when I did that because finally I have now a reason to add her and hopefully this would be the door on a connection with her.
As I scrolling on updates on my newsfeed, I was shocked at what I saw. "Jennica de los Reyes is already engaged."
I stopped for a while. My ex-girlfriend is now engaged. I don't know what to feel. Would I be happy for her? I think so, she is still my sister in Christ.
I should be happy for her and Ronald, my friend who is now the fiancee of Jenny. Besides, I think I moved on from her especially that my attention is now on Rachel.
I grabbed the paper where I wrote my prayer requests and put them there about my best wishes for both of them.
**********
As I slept, I dreamed about Ronald. My dream flashed backed the day when we became friends. I met him before because he was the one who shared with me the gospel. Yes, he was the one who pulled me on the street when I was almost hit by a bus.
He was the one who brought me to Life Church and that was the start of my Christian life. He became one of my mentors and I told him every struggle of my life and also about Jenny.
I did not know that he also has feelings for her. I have no idea that every time I shared my intentions to her, Ronald is also hurt.
But when an opportunity came to him that I am not there for Jenny because of being busy, he is the one there.
He treated my girlfriend at that time as his girlfriend also. He opens doors for her which I don't normally do and that what makes Jenny fall for her.
In my dream, he told me, "Don't worry Jacob, I will take care of Jenny for you."
and then I woke up.
I prayed about them in my quiet time in the morning and I decided to be happy for both of them because they will be now getting married soon.
Then I unfollowed them for me to be sure that I am no more affected and also I will stop using social media for a week in preparation for the mid-year prayer and fasting.
**********
Then Wednesday came, I did not eat my dinner because I decided that I will fast on this meal until Saturday.
When I arrived at the church, Martha waved at me. I approached her.
"So, how can I pray for you?" Martha asked. I don't know if I should tell her about my feelings for Rachel, she is her small group leader anyways.
"Actually, there is something I need you to pray for me, but I'm shy to tell it," I ashamedly said. "Oh, what is that, you can tell me," Martha asked.
"I am falling for Rachel," I said in a low voice.
Martha laughed.
"Try to distance yourself to her as your ongoing on your praying and fasting," She said.
"So that you can focus on what God's will for the both of you," she continued.
I agree. She has a point.
Then the worship began. She was one of the worship singers again. I tried to close my eyes so that I will not be distracted, but I can't. She getting prettier and prettier every time I see her. I felt like an arrow was pointed right straight at the center of my heart when I see her face.
**********
The second day of the prayer and fasting came. I am alone in the seat. I saw her on the other side. She is only singing on the first day only.
But I said to myself that I should distance myself to her as I am on my prayer and fasting. I focused on worship like never before. I see the anointing of the worship leaders and I felt the Holy Spirit covering us as we are seeking Him by depriving ourselves of whatever we are decided to fast.
It's the same on the third day. I felt that my desire for her gets lessen because I focused on God.
Then finally, the last day of prayer and fasting. It was a Saturday. Many people have flocked to the megachurch as this is the last day. The seats were almost full.
I am seated at the back of Ian.
He talked to me. "So, how was your prayer and fasting?"
"It's great. I got to focus on Him and I am not swayed by any distractions and even my desire for Rachel, it gets lessen," I answered.
Ian then shared to me how powerful fasting is. He shared with me about Esther. Esther let his fellow countrymen the Jews hold a fast as they are going to be possibly exterminated. But God acted upon them, Haman was executed instead. We can see how fasting is so powerful.
He also shared with me about the Ninevites on the book of Jonah when they prayed and fasted as they about to be punished by God. But God relented.
So what I have learned that although fasting is not the means to bend the arms of God, it is the means that we are letting God do His works for us.
If it is God's will that we will end up together, then I will fast so that I can hear what is God's response on this and let do His work for both of us.
**********
Then the worship began and it was so great. I almost cried. The people cried their hearts to the Lord as every tune, every song, every beat touches our hearts. Then it ended after 15 minutes and we all sat down.
Then a woman passed by in my side looking for a seat. It's Rachel!
She was late so she did have a seat. She tried to find it in front, but there were no vacant. So I waved at her and offered my seat to her. She accepted it and smiled.
Then I went at the back, standing along with the other worshippers who did not have a chance to have a seat.
I felt so happy that I showed being a gentleman to her. Did she appreciate that? I guess.
Would she become comfortable with me after that? I don't know.
As long as I show kindness to her, She would open myself to me at least being a friend.
Then the prayer and fasting ended with a closing song. So I approached her because my bag was left in her seat.
I pushed myself to talk to her even the closing song is not yet finished and she was about to sing.
"Rachel, it's nice to see you...." But she just kept silent.
She was annoyed at me. I can see in her face. I almost forgot, she is a worship singer and singing is so special to her. I should let the song to be finished and then that's the right time to talk with her.
I kept quiet. But when the song is over, I tried to talk to her again to say sorry. But she went out right away on the other side. My heart was crushed with a hammer. I was so disappointed. I regretted what I said that I almost banged my head on the chair.
My big points on offering my seat to her just disappeared because of my impatience of talking to her. I forgot that I should keep a distance at her because I am still in my prayer and fasting.
I did a big failure. I need to make up for my mistake. But the question is how? I need to strategize.