So. I am not in class, the prefects are on their way to Prefect camp. We will be gone for the whole weekend and will return on Monday. People were hanging out the windows and taking pics, I was out there too taking pics with Charmaine until the bus hit a bump and my phone fell out the window. And I had to stop the whole bus to get my phone. Everyone was like
"oh, ditsy Thandi, the vacation has started".
Dean was laughing a little too loud and when Mr Parker wasn't looking, I gave him the bird (middle finger). Now I am sitting and writing in my diary. I tried to read Harry potter but my mind kept going to Scott and that night and what has followed since in the past week. This has been happening all day every minute, as soon as I stop being busy with something, I think about that night and I start blushing. And my word, since I have tasted the sweet sweet waters that is Scott. I have wanted to dive in and never emerge. But he had been doing his best to avoid me and I at first was haughty and indignant, but then I was like… "am I that evil that I am gonna attempt to seduce another girl's boyfriend?" and then my mind flashes to Scott pressed against me and the answer that pops up in my head is "why, yes. Yes you are."
So I have been trying to get him alone to maybe see what he does for an encore. I literally don't know what has come over me. The other day, we had foyer duty, where we had to sit on a joined double desk at reception to make sure no one besides teachers went through. It was empty and Scott was sitting stiffly next to me, reading a book, a book which I noticed he had barely got through the first page from, but he jumped every time I "accidentally" brushed up against him. I crossed my legs and accidentally brushed against his thigh.
As I moved, he stiffened again.
"would you please stop?" he asked barely moving his lips while his eyes stayed glue to the book.
"stop what?" I asked innocently.
Oh I was a woman possessed.
"That." He muttered.
"Oh it bothers you when I touch you, huh?" I giggled.
When he didn't answer, I Don't know what came over me btw, but I lightly traced his arm, the feeling was so heady, he snatched my hand, his eyes darting to the reception lady who wasn't even interested in what we were doing. He twisted our hands, pulling them underneath the table, but he didn't let go, that's when I started to breathe really loudly. It was embarrassing. And he noticed. He held my hand underneath the desk, his face looking at the book that was lying on the table and I was staring at our our hands twined together. Ebony and ivory. I was tingling all over. Okay, what did this all mean??? I thought to myself,Scott James was actually holding my hand?? I used to think my hands were for writing or baking or for me to decorate them with nail varnish. I was so wrong. My hands were for Scott James to hold. Was Scott into me?? And why,???
He held my hand til the bell rang and then he got up and left, and I followed him feeling all kinds of shaky. He was headed to the prefects room, where I was also going because I needed to get my stuff for the next lesson. I saw lissa who was waiting for me outside the prefects room.
"I have to tell you something. I will be back now" I whispered to her as I passed her.
When I went through the prefects room, Scott and Cassandra were going out and here's the kicker, he was holding her hand! What a hand holding slut he is. I got mad at him then. Just because I was helplessly In love with him did NOT give him the right to play with my heart like this. He couldn't even look in my direction, Cass gave me a warm smile that said:
"I know you would never try anything with my boyfriend because you're harmless"
But baby girl doesn't know. I mean I do feel bad. They are the Golden couple. Been together since forever, we all have envied what they had. They are the End Goal. I would have been just happy with crushing on Scott, but he changed the game when he kissed me. I wish I could say that was the last incident with Scott. The next day, we had library duty together during second break to make sure no one made a ruckus or stole any books. I was avoiding Scott, still hurt by his spurns and I was flirting with Mark who was being extra nice because he needed my help with finding a book to read in English because I am the Queen of the Library. Mark kept coming up from behind me while I was browsing through the aisles for a book and would tickle me and we would kind of wrestle, and there would be giggling. Scott watched at a distance, glowering in our direction. It came to a point where even Mark noticed and was like:
"What's his problem?" He asked amused, nodding his head where Scott was, which was by the library check out counter.
"I don't know. Maybe he is annoyed that I am not leading by example, what with me being prefect and all and here I am making the most noise" I mumbled, concentrating really hard on reading the labels.
I was so confused by Scott, I didn't understand what he was playing at, kissing me and holding my hand then ignoring me. Like I didn't know. Sometimes I literally felt like tugging out my hair.
"Maybe he likes you" Mark said gleefully.
My heart started hammering and I have never worked so hard to appear like I didn't care.
"He has a girlfriend" I pointed out , scoffing.
"Thandeka, a guy can have a girlfriend and still lust after other girls. "
"Psssh, mkkay. " Then I changed the subject and started going on about Harry Potter. Mark gave me an odd look but didn't press on. After Mark left the library, I went to the Aisle at the back to look for the Harry Potter books, I was due for my annual re-read anyway. Scott sidled up to me. I still was not used to him, I don't how how he could be that thing that made everything technicolor in my world. The usual stuff happened when he was near, tingling body, sweaty palms, racing heart, but my face didn't give a single thing away.
"So you and Mark, huh?" He asked with a disapproving tone.
My head snapped up, surprised.
"So you and Cassandra" I pointed out moving along the Aisle.
He blatantly ignored that and followed closely behind me. I wished he wouldn't. My body kept jerking, anticipating his next touch. Gosh, how I craved it.
"So that's it? You like him now? " He asked, I looked at him incredulously. And his gaze penetrated me, searching and trying to tell me something but I didn't know what. We all know what his eyes do to me… For a moment, I forgot what we were talking about and just let myself get lost in his eyes. He tentatively reached out to touch my arm and I quickly snapped out of it. I was getting really fed up with his games.
"You're unbelievable" I snarled as I stalked away.
He didn't try to follow me.
So that was all yesterday. I was still pretty mad, the whole push and pull game. Like do I feed his ego? What does he want? He has Cassandra for flips sake. I am just an unsuspecting soul who has no literal control when it comes to him, and he knows this. But I am not the one with a girlfriend, I am not the one who is responsible for someone else's feelings. He is.
Oh , the bus just stopped, we are here. Yay.