Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh, okay let me just breathe. I need to write this down.
Caitlin just dropped me and Mondli off from a party that was at Cameron's house. Cameron has time to play, to just randomly throw a party for a matric social.
The theme was white. I wore a white summer dress and I was glad to see that most of the girls were dressed like that. Melissa was already there hitting the hubbly with Dean and some other guys. Cassandra was draped around Scott (who had gone back to ignoring me even though we had to do prefect duities together) like a devil's Snare plant. I hugged Amy and Jade and they asked me what I did today my mind flashed to this afternoon at my dad's and the goat my uncles had been planning to slaughter (because somebody had a dream about my dead aunt so apparently it meant she was on the other side cold, so a goat had to be slaughtered. Black people logic.), went missing. My dad and uncles were jumping neighbours fences and they were really stressed because apparently it's bad luck to lose a goat that is meant to be sacrificed. The goat was found so no one was cursed. Sigh. So when Jade asked me about my afternoon, I gave her a nondescript answer. We all sat in a circle, mind you there was like 20 of us, all of us smoking one hubbly. I don't know how I ended up sitting next to Scott and it was such a monumental thing for me that I couldn't even focus on anything but his leg which was pressed up against mine. After a while I got up to go to the bathroom, Cameron's bathroom was located at the end of the house, when I came out the toilet, Scott was there, in the the darkly lit passage. I felt inexplicably shy… For some reason I felt like he was not there for the toilet
"Scott, do you need the toilet? "I asked, still keeping up with the charade.
" no, I just need to see something " he said.
He took a few steps until he we were practically touching chests. My head was swimming, I couldn't seem to draw breath. His breathe blew in my face and I saw spots. His hand lightly brushed my arm, and my pulse thudded where he touched. His other hand cupped my face and he leaned down and kissed me. Let me just say. I knew it was gonna be phenomenal, I knew that birds would sing and my leg would pop like Anne Hathaway's did in Princess Diaries. What I was not prepared for was how intense my reaction would be. I gasped and grabbed at him and clutched him tighter while he wreaked havoc with his tongue. I wasn't prepared that I would try to rip his shirt off or that his hands would roam all over my body and make me feel like my body was on fire and only he could put it out. He slammed me against the door and pressed up against me and I could feel every hard angle of his body and ahem, other hard angles if you catch my drift. I heard someone in the distant ask where I was and my good sense which had had just as suddenly abandoned me, returned and I pushed him away. Oh Lord. His eyes… I did that to him. His eyes looked so drugged and heavy and dark and they were on me.
"Scott, snap out of it. What just happened??? You have a girlfriend, who is outside??? ", I hissed at him while tugging my dress down.
His eyes followed my movements and he smirked when he noticed my underwear right before I successfully tugged my dress down. OH GOODNESS, of all the days, I had to pick today to wear my Hannah Montana underwear (you know what, she rocks the best of both worlds and I am not ashamed to be a fan). Then his face changed and he groaned
"I am so sorry, Thandeka. Honestly, I have been trying to fight it-"
Wait, what now??
"- but it is hard to resist someone who gasps or blushes when you look at them or the way your breathe shakes when I come near you. I am so sorry. I am a pig. You should slap me. "
He sounded so contrite. And looked so freaking handsome. Why did I break up that kiss again??? Oh, right, he has a girlfriend.
" what are you saying? ".. I asked him.
He couldn't look at me "nothing. I have to go to Cassandra"
He turned abruptly and left me.
I felt so hurt because even though the kiss I cannot stop replaying, my feelings are so hurt the way I was tossed aside.
So when I went outside, he was outside with Cassandra, necking her. I saw red. Then I begged cameron to let me plug my phone so my music can blare from the speakers and I played rihanna's song about it raining men and Liss and I were doing a sexy dance and all the guys were watching us. We did the damn thing. At some point I dragged Liss to the bathroom and told her what happened. I could see through her eyes that she was drunk so the information was sinking in slowly, I had to wait like 5 minutes before I got the reaction I needed in the first place. She hopped up and down with her hand clamped over her open mouth.
"duuuuuuuuuuuude!!! So what does it mean? Is he gonna leave Cass? Or a you a side piece??"
I gasped at that:" no! I am not a side piece… But he is still wrapped up with her, so no. I don't think he is gonna leave her. "
We talked about it but couldn't dissect it like we wanted to because apparently the party can't go on without liss and i. We went back out there and danced. I noticed Scott stealing a few glances, giving me those tortured looks. This boy. Anyway, let me sleep. My head feels like its going to explode.
Night Night.
Lotsa Love