A whole day, and I came up with nothing. No useful information, and eight days left.
Ally will be annoyed. She'll scold me for not hurrying up, taking every opportunity to talk to her, help her trust me, then wait for her to open up to me. Her information is crucial, and she herself is the reason I'm in this dilemma.
It's so hard to speak to her. I don't know what to say to her. I don't know how to respond to her. Especially when she says something kind.
From the moment Charlie flicked off the lights late last night to now, I don't remember closing my eyes. I let my thoughts wander as the room gradually brightens. A person of my age, a normal person, that is, would be raving excitedly about the party planned for tonight. But I have so much more to think about. The problem is that I don't concentrate well, laying in a stiff bed, breathing stale air. I consider getting up to go find Ally, but then I blink, and dawn has passed.
"You up?" It's Ben, and he's dressed for the day, but his hair is clearly still messy and unbrushed. "Hm?" He pokes me.
"I'm up, I'm up," I say, sitting up, immediately wanting to lay back down and stay inside this room for eternity. Or, at least until security drags me out.
I rub the sleep from my eyes, then glance at the clock.
"Hey, it's so late. Aren't we going to miss breakfast?" I ask.
Ben rolls his eyes, like it was obvious. "That's why I woke you up. We're gonna miss breakfast, and so are the girls, obviously," he tells me, leaning against the rail of my top bunk. "So, Brains of the Operation, got any ideas what we're gonna do?"
It doesn't take long to think of a solution, and when I'm done explaining my plan, Charlie and Ben are out the door. When the door slides closed, I smile to myself. I may have a mission to complete, but I can't wait to see the look on those girls' faces.
"Harry," says Tasmin, bluebell eyes half-closed, hair frizzy, and clearly just out of bed. "Whatcha doing here so early?" she asks, trying to fix her hair.
I grin. "Early? I think you need to check the time." I don't know why, but seeing her again makes me want to smile stupidly, even if all our conversations together haven't gone all too well.
Ducking back around the corner, I watch with amusement when her eyes widen.
"It's nearly ten!" She informs me seriously.
"Yup."
"We're gonna miss breakfast."
"Exactly right."
I think she registers my responses, as well as the silly smile on my face, because then she asks, "What are you smiling at? You think it's funny that we're gonna miss breakfast?"
"I think it's hilarious."
I'm honestly just saying anything so that I can keep Tasmin's eyes on me longer. If I could have an unlimited supply of time to just gaze into Tasmin's eyes, I think I'd be the most peaceful person on earth. I'd also fail my mission.
Tasmin shakes her head at me. "Guys, get up, we're gonna miss breakfast," she says to the sleepy heads behind her.
"BREAKFAST!" Emily yells, still sounding very much asleep.
Tasmin turns back to me. "Why are you still smiling?"
I lean against the open door. "Tasmin, do you know if it's permitted to dine in your cabin?"
"You are, but my sister and I accidentally made a mess this one time, and we got in a little bit of trou —" she stops mid-sentence to glance up at me. "Harry…"
"Go on."
Emily gets it before Tasmin does.
"BREAKFAST!"
I flatten myself against the door, allowing passage to Ben and Charlie, who stumble in, each carrying a tray with what looks to be the entire buffet's stocks.
"Damn, we must've looked like such weirdos lugging around this much food," Ben exclaims.
"Well, it isn't called an All-You-Can-Eat-Buffet for no reason," Lilli comments, sliding out of bed.
I watch calmly by the door as breakfast is laid out, and Tasmin is still so shocked, eyeing all the food like it might pop to life at any moment and eat her alive.
Ben turns to me. "Aren't you joining us, Idea Man?"
There was a time when I took everything I had for granted. I wish I didn't, but my mum was definitely one of those things. I'd slap the younger me if I could. But my losses have helped me realise so much of what I love.
If my mind and eyes worked like they used to before, I would've looked straight past a girl like Tasmin with greedy desires for something more. Now?
The sunlight bathes her face and I can count every little freckle on her cheeks. In her eyes is a calm ferocity that challenges the sea. If I wasn't so scared that I would get lost in them, drown in them, I wouldn't have looked away.
Her white shirt billows around her, and even though it's not real, I can see a golden glow behind her. I smile.
"Quick, Lilli, take a photo," Emily urges Lilli. "Harry's smiling."
Those two words are an instant signal for Tasmin to turn around and glance at me. She smiles brightly.
My mission is important, crucial to the definition I have written in stone for my life. But I have time to complete it.
I join Tasmin's side, feeling somewhat jittery. She has her bluebell eyes trained up high, a long way up above the fifteenth deck, which I didn't know existed till now.
"The view from up there must be amazing, huh?" I ask.
A sigh from Tasmin. "And windy."
Before I register my own actions, I have Tasmin's blond hair in my fingers and I'm threading into all it a multicoloured scrunchy. How do I know how to tie hair? Well, I may have spent a portion of my sleepless night thinking about it and then practicing it.