The bass thumped in my chest as I took another sip of my drink, letting the burn of the whiskey trail down my throat. The bar was packed tonight, full of people laughing, dancing, and enjoying life. It felt good to be out, to be alive, even though the noise and the crowd were a bit overwhelming. I hadn't been out like this in a long time, maybe years. But Arlene had insisted, saying I needed to celebrate the end of my six months therapy, the end of a chapter, and the beginning of a new life.
"You're staring into your glass again, Laura. That's the third one you've finished without so much as cracking a smile. C'mon, girl, lighten up. We're here to have fun!" Arlene let out loudly against the loud background music. She was grooving to the music while nudging me, her eyes sparking with mischief.
I managed a small smile, but my mind was elsewhere. The last six months had been a whirlwind of emotions, fear, relief, anger, sadness. And now, finally, a glimmer of hope. Arlene had been there through it all, from the moment I'd shown up on her doorstep six months ago, bruised and broken, to this very moment, sitting at the bar, trying to remember what it felt like to be free.
I gave the bar a slow scan, trying to distract myself. The place was dimly lit, with warm, amber lights casting a soft glow over everything. The dance floor was packed, bodies moving to the rhythm, while others crowded around the bar or huddled in booths, deep in conversation. It was a nice scene to watch, it felt normal, it felt good. It was all shades of everything I hadn't felt in a long time.
I was still enjoying the sweet scenery when my eyes briefly caught a man sitting at the far end of the bar. I had looked away instinctively but a force pulled me back. My eyes landed in his direction again and I saw his gaze locked on me.
He was tall, with dark hair that fell in waves around his face, and a rugged, almost dangerous look about him. There was something in his eyes though, something intense, that sent a shiver down my spine.
"He's been watching you all night," Arlene whispered in my ear, her breath warm against my skin.
"I think he likes what he sees." She added with her signature giggle. She does that when she's in her taunting mode.
I didn't react at first and just looked away, but Arlene tickled me lightly and I found myselfI blushing. I had feeling a mix of embarrassment and intrigue. It had been so long since I'd felt attractive, since I'd felt like anyone could look at me that way.
I'd spent the last four years hiding, first from Jackson, and then from the world, trying to heal, trying to find myself again.
Jackson. Even thinking his name made my stomach churn. If I have it my way, I would wish to never remember his name or face ever again… but I still do. I could still see his face, the way his expression would shift from charming to terrifying in an instant. The way he'd controlled me, isolated me, made me believe I was nothing without him. The way he'd hurt me.
I shook my head, trying to shake off the memories. That was behind me now. I was here, in Atlanta, with Arlene, trying to start over. Jackson is in the past, and he stays there forever…
"Why don't you go talk to him?" Arlene suggested, her voice teasing.
"You're free now, Laura. You deserve to have some fun." She added, this time, she had a serious smile on.
"I don't know," I hesitated, glancing back at the man. His gaze hadn't left me, and the intensity of it made my heart race.
"It's just… it's been a long time, Arlene. I don't know if I'm ready for that." I replied while she smiled gently, placing a hand on mine.
"I know, babe. But maybe it's time to dip your toes back in the water. Just talk to him. You don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with. But you deserve to feel good again, to feel wanted. You've fought so hard to get out of the cage, don't get in again." She let out.
"You know, if we didn't come here together, I would think you have been switched… because who the heck are you, and what have you done to my cousin?" I let out with sarcasm.
"I know right, I don't know what has come over me. I'm never this serious. Maybe that's a sign that you should let loose and live!" She chimed in with a soft smile.
I swallowed hard, feeling the truth of her words. Maybe it was time. Maybe I needed to take a step forward, even if it was just a small one. I nodded slowly, more to myself than to her.
"Alright. I'll go talk to him." I said, taking a deep breath.
"That's my girl! Go get him, Laura." Arlene grinned, giving me a quick hug.
I stood up, feeling unsteady on my feet, though I wasn't sure if it was the whiskey or the nerves. As I made my way through the crowd, my heart pounded in my chest. Each step felt really heavy, and I wondered what I would say to him.
I reached the man, and for a moment, we just looked at each other. Up close, he was even more striking. Sharp features, stubbled jawline, and those eyes, dark and brooding, yet with a spark of something I couldn't quite place. He was drop dead gorgeous and smelled intoxicating in a way that a billion-dollar-note would, if there was ever one.
"Hi," I finally found my voice.
"I'm Laura." I added, my voice barely audible over the loud music.
"Nice to meet you, Laura." He replied slowly. I found it rude that he give tell me his name but I let it slide when he shot me a smile.
It made my knees weak, and I felt exposed, vulnerable, like he could see right through me. But there was also a thrill, a spark that I hadn't felt in years.
"Do you come here often?" I asked, trying to keep the conversation light, though my voice shook a little.
"Not really," he replied, his voice deep and smooth.
"What about you?" he asked, leaning in a little closer, while I hesitated, not wanting to dive into my whole life story.
"Just celebrating with my cousin," I said, glancing back at Arlene, who was watching us with a grin on her face.
"That's nice," he said, his gaze softening. "It's good to celebrate the good things in life." He added.
We spoke for a few minutes and it was quite enjoyable. He was charming, funny, and easy to talk to, but there was also something about him that was dangerous, something that called to me.
All the while, my mind kept trying to imagine how he would taste. I wondered if the wine he had been downing all night would linger on his tongue. I licked your lips unconsciously, and I caught him looking at me.
"You want to kiss me, don't you?" He let out while staring deep in my eyes, and for a moment, I forgot how to breathe.
"Yes." I replied in a shaky tone while he chuckled.
All of a sudden, it felt like the room spinning slightly, but it wasn't just the alcohol. It was him. The way he looked at me, the way he made me feel alive.
"Let's get out of here then." He said authoritatively, his voice low and husky, making my heart sing.
This was it. The moment where I had to decide whether to take the plunge or not. But I knew, deep down, that I wanted this. I wanted to feel something, to feel alive.
"Okay," I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
He took my hand, leading me through the crowd and up the stairs to a quiet, dimly lit room. The door clicked shut behind us, and suddenly, it was just the two of us, alone.
"You're sure about this?" He turned to me and ask.
"Yes." I nodded, my heart racing.
He stepped closer, and pinned my back against the way, his hand gently cupping my cheek as he leaned in to kiss me.
He bit my lower lip, soothed it, and then slipped his tongue gently into your mouth encouraging me to participate.
He tasted of mint and liquor, a flavour that made me so heady, I wanted more of it. I opened up for him and he went deep. We made love to each other with our tongues while his hand travelled to my breasts and teased a nipple till it hardened beneath his touch.
My knees nearly gave out from the sensation that shot through me, and I was glad that I listened to Arlene, and gave it a shot.
As we moved to the bed, clothes falling away, all my worries and fears melted into the background. For the first time in years, I felt free, like I was reclaiming a part of myself that had been lost.
Our bodies moved together, the tension between us building with each touch, each kiss. He was gentle, yet there was a fire in him, a passion that drove me wild. I'd never felt anything like this before, this intensity, this connection.
He lasted only five minutes in me, but I felt every second of it. A quickie well deserved. He rolled off of me, faced the other side and smelt right off, while I remained still, in the same position, staring blankly at the roof.
My breathing was fast and heavy, causing a wave of emotions to course through my body.
I wasn't sure what this meant, or what would happen next, but for now, I just wanted to hold onto this moment, to this feeling of being alive, of being free.
I turned to the other side too, and slowly drifted to sleep, knowing that my life was changing, that I was changing. And for the first time in a long time, I was okay with that…