HININTAY ko siya kagabi kaya hindi ako kaagad pumasok ng tent. After that, I don't know what happened next. Ang huli ko nalang nagisnan kaninang umaga ay nasa loob na ako ng tent habang may manipis na kumot na nakalagay sa buong katawan ko. When I flipped to the other side, I saw no one. Gabriel must have sleep outside.
Pero sino ang nagbuhat sa akin kagabi patungo dito?
I'm sure it's him. Mas lalo akong nababahala para sa sarili dahil baka mas lalo na naman iyong magalit sa akin dahil sa kapabayaan ko. Ngayon, ang lumalabas ay ako pa ang pabigat sa kanya. Iba pa naman mag-isip ang lalaking iyon, hindi ko maintindihan. Bigla bigla nalang nagagalit. I don't have a choice but to go with his flows because if I will be given a chance to fight my opinions with him, I will really give him the answer he doesn't want. And I meant every sarcasms in my words. The last thing I want to do is to end up being stuck with him.
Nag-iinit ang ulo ko.
Hinayaang kong magliwaliw ang isip ko hanggang sa makaabot ako ng batis.
I smiled. I've been planning to swim here since I saw this yesterday. And my expectations were achieved. Maganda at napakalinaw ng batis, dagdagan pa na napakalamig at presko ng tubig ay mas naiinganyo akong maligo at lumangoy sa ilalim na parte nito.
Wala sa sarili akong naghubad ng damit at inihabilin nalang ang aking panloob. Wala akong inaksayang panahon at mabilis akong lumagoy sa malalim na parte. Nang umahon ako ay halos malunok ko ang tubig na nakaabang sa bibig ko ng makita ko si Gabriel sa unahan ko, nakatanaw sa akin at seryosong seryoso ang mga mata. His hair was wet too. He is topless while comfortably sitting on the large green stone while some droplets of water cascading on his face and muscled body.
Kanina pa ba siya diyan? Hindi ko man lang siya naramdaman.
Wala akong nagawa kundi ihaon ang katawan ko hanggang balikat.
"Magandang umaga.." Bati ko sa kanya.
He only nodded at me. He adjusted his body a bit without breaking up his eye contact on me.
"I see you've woken up." His voice is playful now, like I did something unusual last night.
Natigilan ako.
Did I do something wrong last night? I hope not.
Wala naman akong nararamdamang kakaiba kanina. Hindi rin naman ako malikot kung matulog, siguro nga ay namamalikmata lang ako. I don't feel anything except of my sore lips this morning. Namamaga ito kanina paggising ko at namumula rin. Baka nakagat lang nang insekto. Mabuti na lang talaga at may ointment akong dala para maibsan ang pamamaga nito.
I saw his jaw clenched while staring at my lips. His lips parted and I saw him gulped twice.
Kumunot ang noo ko.
"May nangyari ba kagabi?" I asked him.
He smirked. Umiwas siya ng tingin sa akin at bahagyang ginulo ang buhok niya pero parang hindi naman .
He is really handsome. His crescent-of-moon eyebrows were thin and narrow. He carried an imperious nose well and his angular cheekbones carved down towards his flinty jaw. His dark green eyes were orb round and darted constantly, a gleam with delight and vigor of youth. Kahit saang anggulo tignan ay wala kang makikitang pagkakamali at kung mayroon man depende na lang siguro kong paano mo binubuo ang standard mo.
"Wala naman." He trailed off, watching me intently.
Agad akong kinabahan sa tono ng pananalita niya. Hindi ko alam kong nagsasabi ba siya ng totoo o pinaglalaruan lang niya ako.
"B-bakit? Anong nangyari?" Tanong ko.
He chuckled sexily. Pagkatapos ay pumanaog siya sa batong kinauupuan at madaling lumubog sa tubig. Kinakabahan man ay hindi ako makatingin sa kanya ng deritso nang madali niyang nilangoy ang deriksiyon ko. My heart beats is in disarray that I can't even stop it right now.
Umahon siya sa harap ko kaya halos magkandabuhol buhol ang hininga ko. Some novels were really right. Ganitong mga eksena ay nababasa ko lamang sa mga pocket book ko na nakatambak sa bahay at ang emosiyong nararamdaman ko ngayon ay talagang magkapareha.
"What why? Do you really wanted to know?" He breathed.
Umatras ako ng kaunti.
"W-what do you mean?" I stuttered. I was really hoping to avoid this kind of conversation with him, but still..still I'm here, stuck with him. I just put myself in a position, I know I should walk away, but I can't.
"Nothing.." He replied.
I really sensed some sarcasm in there and I can't be too confident with his answer. Puro na lang wala pero alam kong may kakaibang kahulugan.
"M-may mali ba akong nagawa kagabi? Kaya ba hindi ka natulog sa tent?" Tanong ko.
I saw him swayed the water between us with his veined torso. So long before I realized that it was his way to bring his body closer to me.
Bakit ba siya umaabante?
"Stop right there, Gabriel!" Tumaas ng bahagya ang boses ko.
Hindi ko sukat akalain na ganito kung makareact ang puso. It was aching so much that it was so very painful to bear.
He smirked. "What?" Nagtaas siya ng kilay sa akin. "Oh please..you are not my type." I felt a pang on my chest and a lump on my throat when he said that on me directly.
Alam ko at hindi na niya kailangan pang ipamukha sa akin iyon.
My heart ached.
I saw him stilled when he saw my pained eyes.
He was about to say something but I just smiled, trying to give away the words and pain he just gave me. Alam kong hindi lahat nang tao ay kayang unawain ang sitwasiyon ko. But still, I hope, you know. But every time I keep hoping, for someone-maybe someday to understand me, I always fell away. Kaya ayaw ko nang mangarap pa na magbabago pa ang tingin nila sa amin.
The moment you become embarrassed of who you are, you lose yourself. I stand with my own differences. I don't wanna changed my self just to please other? What would it bring me? Friends? Oh, nevermind!
"I just wanted to swim in the spot right behind you, babe." He teased me after the dead silence.
Kaagad siyang lumangoy patungong likod ko at wala akong nagawa kundi ang yumuko dahil sa sariling kahihiyan.
Sweet Lord! What will I do with this man? Magkakasala ako ng wala sa oras!
Nang umahon siya ay hinarap ko siya.
"Will you please stop calling me with that cougar endearment of yours?" Mahinahon kong saad sa kanya.
Ayaw ko nang magalit pa. Ayaw ko nang pangunahan ang emosiyon ko kapag siya ang kausap ko dahil wala iyong magandang maiidulot sa akin kundi puro sakit ng ulo at kahihiyan. I don't want him to dominate me anymore. It makes me feel more indifferent with him and I don't want him to feel at ease with me.
Ayaw kong umabot sa panahon na ganito na ang turing niya sa akin na madali niya akong mapasuko o kung ano man ang balak niya. I don't want to be involved with him because he will be the last man that I wanted to get entangled with. He will just be a venom to my whole system. I don't wanna end up crying down the road because of him. Man like him couldn't be trusted.
"What's with your tone?" He asked me, with his forehead knotted darkly.
Hinayaan ko na lang siya at mas minabuting lumangoy palayo sa kanya.
Did he think this is funny? Well, it sure as shit ain't sad!
Mabilis akong nakarating sa mababaw na parte at iniwan siya doon ng walang lingon. I don't care if he sees me just wearing my undergarments. He already oriented me about girls he likes and I knew I'll never be one of them. And I never intended to be one of those girls, his girls rather!
Shit!
Where is this anger came from, Tamina? Of all the man loved by the Gods, I hate him the most!
Kinuha ko ang damit kong hinubad kanina na inilagay ko lang sa bato at madaling isinuot iyon.
Nagulat ako ng ilang mura ang sunod sunod kong narinig mula sa kanya.
"Fuck!" Malutong niyang mura na sinundan pa ng ilang beses.
Namamangha ko siyang nilingon ng madali kong natapos ang pagbibihis ko. Nang makita siyang madilim na nakatitig sa akin ay agad nagsalubong ang kilay ko.
"What the hell was that?!" He yelled again at me.
Nagulat ako ng makita siyang marahas na pumunta patungo sa deriksiyon ko.
"H-ha?" Hindi ko maipaliwanag na tanong sa kanya.
Ang labo niya, sobra..
Did I do something wrong again?
"Anong pinagsasabi mo, Gabriel?"
Napaatras ako ng agresibo siyang lumapit sa akin.
"Are you really setting this up on a purpose, hmm? Seducing me like a fucking innocent child?!" His words pierced right through my heart.
Umawang ang bibig ko sa mga sinabi niya.
"What are you saying?" Mahinahon kong tanong kahit gusto ko na siyang sampalin ng ilang beses sa utak ko.
Did he just accuse me for seducing him?
He smirked. "You like me, don't you?" He asked shamelessly.
Kung hindi lang ako pinanganak ng may kunting pag-uunawa ay baka nasampal ko na siya ng napakalakas.
Punyeta!
I'm mad. But my insides were telling me to calm down.
Inilahad niya ang kanyang katawan sa akin na para bang sinasabi niyang pwede ko siyang lambingin.
"Then have a kiss on my account." He offered, shamelessly.
He's really a shameless brute!
Uhrg!
I rolled my eyes at him. Tinalikuran ko siya at kaagad na tinahak ang daan patungong tent. Tinawag niya ako. Hindi na ako lumingon pa. I thought he was a silent man. Isa pala talaga siyang bipolar. A naughty womanizer, indeed.
His infamous gesture made him the same with other man I've meet before. A man not on my likings. A man who's not on my league.
"Hey.." He called me again when he saw me arranging our thing.
Nilingon ko siya at hinarap. Agad napawi ang mapaglarong ngiti sa kanyang mga labi ng makita ang seryoso kong mukha.
"It will be the best for the both of us if you stop calling me any names, Sir." Magalang kong saad sa kanya ng walang emosiyon.
"Sir?!" He arched his brows.
Tumango ako.
"Why Sir?"
I smile, half-hearted.
"I just want to." Matapang kong saad.
Umangat ang kamay niya upang punasan ang ilang tubig na nahuhulog sa kanyang katawan mula sa basa niyang buhok. Seryoso din siyang nakatitig sa akin habang dumidilim ang kanyang mukha at tingin sa akin.
"I thought we already talked about that."
I smiled. "I thought too."
"Then why?"
"Mas mabuti na pong ganito nang alam ko kung saan ang limitasiyon ko at limitasiyon ng mga pabibiro ninyo." Saad ko at mabilis na naman siyang iniwan doon.
Hinanap ko ang bag ko at mabilis kinuha ang ointment doon. Humahapdi na naman ang labi ko.
Nakagat ba talaga ako ng insekto?
"I'm sorry." He said.
Natigil ako sa paglagay niyon sa aking labi. Napatingin siya sa doon. I saw his guilty face while staring at my lips.
Why is that?
"I'm sorry, Tamina." Ulit niya, seryosong seryoso.
Tumango ako.
"Wala na po iyon."
He looks problematic while he combs his hair.
"I.." Nabitin ang sinabi niya at tumango tango nalang siya.
"I promise I will not joke around you like that anymore." He said seriously and walked out from me.
Wala akong ginawang iba kundi ang maghintay sa susunod niyang gawin buong araw. He's looking for some spices near our area. Tinanong ko siya kong bakit, ang tangi lang niyang sagot ay kakailanganin niya iyon sa mga lulutuin niya.
He's a chief actually but a businessman at the same time.
That must be amazing.. That's explain our delicious food he brought here.
Sumama ako sa kanya at tumagal nga ng ilang oras ang paghahanap namin. Nang tingnan ko ang oras ay kaagad akong napangiwi. Ang plano ay ngayon ang uwi namin pero hindi kami makakaabot dahil baka gabihin kami masiyado sa daan lalo pa at hapon na.
He looked at my direction.
"We will go down tomorrow morning." Saad niya.
Tumango ako.
He handed me the other basket full of fruits for our dinner. Ubos na ang baon niyang pagkain kaya naghahanap na kami ng mga makakain. Malapit na rin magdilim kaya madali akong namingwit ng isda sa ilog kaya iniwan ko na muna siya saglit.
"Hindi ka ba naghihinayang sa party ninyo?" Tanong ko sa kanya ng nakabalik na kami.
Tumingin siya sa gawi ko. "I hate parties anyways."
"Bakit? Sabi nila ay masaya daw iyon."
He stilled. "You've never been into parties before?"
I bite my lips. "Hindi pa."
"Parties are not good if it's not for good purposes." He smiled making my heart warmed.
"And if a woman like you will attend, I don't think I'll be at ease..." He whispered but I didn't hear it.
Hindi nalang ako nag-usisa at nanahimik na lang.
Napansin niya ang dala kong isda.
"Where did you get those?" Mangha niyang tanong sa akin.
Tinuro ko ang ilog.
"H-how?"
Tinuro ko ulit ang bow at arrow ko.
"Woah.. You are really amazingly different."
I smiled.
"Don't flutter me."
Agad kong inihanda ang isda. He makes a grilled stand, which I find really thoughtful. Well, he's a chief. I can't argue with him when it comes to foods.
"Ako na." Saad niya ng isinalang ko na ang isda sa apoy.
Hinayaan ko nalang siya at naupo na lamang ako habang pinagmamasdan siya.
"So.."He trailed. "Haven't you thought about going back to school?" Madiing tanong niya habang nakaluhod ang isang paa niya at mabilis na hinipan ulit ang apoy.
Mabilis akong umiling.
"Kagaya nang sabi ko, wala akong balak bumalik hanggat hindi gumagaling ang Nanay." Mataman kong sagot sa kanya.
Tumango siya. Hindi na nagsalita pa.
"How long will you be staying here in Sta. Monica?"
Tumingin siya ulit sa gawi ko.
"Why? Will you miss me if I go?" He teased me.
I laughed.
Natigilan siya kaya napatigil din ang tawa ko.
He smiled afterwards. "I've never seen such a pure laugh and smile like you."
Umiling ako. "I know that you have seen enough. Enough woman, enough pleasure…"
Agad siyang nagtaas ng kamay na para bang pinapatigil ako sa mga akusasiyon ko sa kanya.
"I'm innocent in contrast to your accusation, woman."
Kumunot ang noo ko. "What's with the names?"
He smirked.
"I highly doubt all your intentions." Natatawa kong saad at kaagad tumikhim ng mapansing masiyado na ata akong natawa sa pinag-usapan namin.
"Ano sa tingin mo ang mga intensiyon ko, hmm?" He asked suddenly, all of his attentions are on me.
Hindi nalang ako nagkumento pa.
"Come on, say it." Hamon niya sa akin sa matalas na boses.
I pursed my lips. He is really stubborn.
"I don't want to. Figure it out yourself."
"Why do I have to?"
I rolled my eyes. "That's because you are a jerk."
His lips parted a bit.
"That's definitely a serious knock down word for a man like me." Seryoso niyang saad.
Kinabahan ako kaagad.
"Why do you think I'm like that?" Tanong niya.
Hindi ako nakapagsalita. I felt like I offended him even if what I said is true.
"Says the woman who's been known in the entire town…" He mocked me.
"W-what?"
Tumaas ang isang sulok ng labi niya.
"You are known for being ruthless when it comes to bringing down your suitors all over the town, aren't you?" He flips the fish to the other side and looked at me again.
Huh? Paano niya nalaman ang bagay na iyon?
Oo nga at marami akong manliligaw pero wala naman akong pinaglaruan at sinagot. I'm not ready for some serious relationship and I don���t think they are serious too about the courting. For some reason, I don't want to marry a man from this town. Like I said, my past or my parent's past doesn't define me but I don't want to bring a bad remnants of that past until I'll get old. That's why if I have enough money, I will settle with my mother away from this judgmental town.
Kung ako siguro ay kakayanin ko pero kapag ang ina ko na ang sangkot ay nawawala ako sa sarili kong bait. Minsan nga may narinig akong hindi kanais nais kay Nanay nang minsan ay nagsimba kami.
For all the places that they have chosen to spread negative rumors, sa simbahan pa talaga! Nagpapasalamat talaga ako na mataas ang pasensiya ko dahil kong hindi sa mga pagpipigil ni Nanay sa akin ng panahong iyon ay baka napalabas ko na ang mga walang modong mga ginang sa likod namin.
"I don't like them but I'm not a womanizer like you." Tanging saad ko.
Natahimik siya.
"Then from now on, I won't date girls anymore. I will prove to you that I can be a changed man." He said seriously.
Natawa ako.
"I'm serious, Tamina." Putol niya sa akin.
"That's just so wrong." I said, breathless.
For what reason? Bakit niya gagawin iyon?
"No." Umiling siya.
"I'm damn serious about it." Saad niya habang nakatingin sa akin ng madilim. Hindi nagpatinag pa. Kung pwede lang akong umalis sa harapan niya ay sana kanina pa. He's really serious.
What did just happen?