Today is Wednesday and if this escape plan doesn't work I kill myself here.
Me and Wendy determined that the best day to do it was Friday. This is because there are less guards meaning less of a chance of us being caught.
******
So I started looking for something to cut with because I still hate life. It's very hard because this place is basically baby proofed.
I managed to pick out two razors that were in a sharpener in the art room. I put one in my pocket and was about to put the other one in when Nurse Jamie came in. I quickly shoved it in my pocket and hoped she didn't see.
"So what cha doing in here"
"Looking for paper" I said nervously.
"So what's in your pocket?"
Fuck I thought to myself.
"Some candy"
"Oh what kind?"
I hesitated. "Uhh Starburst"
"Hmm....ok show me"
"Why"
"I know what your hiding"
I just stood there blank faced.
"What?" I said trying to sound normal.
"Kids come in here all the time to take the razors out the sharpeners"
"I told you it's candy"
"Ok then turn your pockets inside out"
I was silently dying inside. If I turn my pockets inside out both my razors would fall out. But if I refuse she'll probably call a guard to come search me.
"What's your problem" I say annoyed.
"Just doing my job. Also it's a dangerous item that you could use to hurt yourself or someone else."
"Whatever"
"Please just hand it over before I get a guard to get it"
Just as I was about to give up Wendy came and took the conversation.
"Oh hi Jamie what's the problem"
"Well your friend Scarlett is hiding a razor in her pocket and I need her to give it to me."
"I'm pretty sure she just got candy for me. I asked her to"
"Okay then what candy did you want?"
I could see Wendy wasn't prepared for that because she didn't say anything for a while.
"Uhh I wanted Nerds?"
Well there goes that.
"Oh well that's funny because Scarlett here said you asked for Starburst"
"I have a bad memory" I said.
"Yeah I'm not believing it. Turn your pockets inside out."
I sighed and turned my pockets inside out. Of course like I said the razors fell out and Jamie took them.
"I'm going to put you into more counseling"
"Whatever" I said and walked away.
"Well Wendy there goes my backup plan"
"Sorry I tried to name a common candy"
"It's fine we just have to sneak in there another time."
********
At lights out Nurse Jamie once again came into my room with pills.
"You know I'm not going to take those"
"Well you've had the maximum amount of shots I can give you"
"What, there's a maximum?"
"Yes"
"Why?"
"Because some kids like the pain of the shots being put into them like you like cutting so we had to put a maximum"
"Well that's stupid"
"Anyways though you have to take these"
She starts handing me my pills but I hate taking them.
"I'm not taking those"
"Yes you are"
"No I'm not"
"Either you start taking these pills or I put you in for counseling twice a day and therapy once a day"
"Are you actually kidding me"
"Yes now take these pills"
I sighed.
"Well can I at least know what I'm about to take"
"These are anti depressants, these are anti anxiety pills, and these are sleeping pills."
"Why do I need sleeping pills?"
"To help you sleep"
"I sleep fine now just give me the anti depressants and anxiety pills I don't need sleeping pills"
"Sorry but you have to take all of them"
"Fine whatever give them to me"
I took the anti depressants and anti anxiety pills but I faked swallowing the sleeping pills though.
When Nurse Jamie left I started writing my suicide note in that diary, I just hope they don't actually read it. Then I got up and started to try to get to the art room to get another razor but I was stopped by a guard who sent me back to my room so I have to try again tomorrow.
********
So today is Thursday so we're about to hit our deadline. Me and Wendy need to get a lot done today.
"Good morning Scarlett!"
"Good morning Wendy" I said a little annoyed.
"So what part of the escape do yo want to do today since our deadline is Saturday?"
"Scouting and getting my backup plan ready. Also if you don't escape what will you do?"
"I guess go on a killing rampage across the facility"
I just stared at her a little horrified about what she just said.
"Relax I'm just kidding....kind of."
"Ok so I'm gonna ignore that because wtf so yeah"
Then Nurse Jamie walked in and asked Wendy to leave since I need to take my pills.
"So how's it going"
"You did not seriously ask me that question. How do you think, I'm in a mental hospital for gods sake"
"Sorry but still you need to take your pills"
"You're still on that."
"Just take them"
"Ugh why do I even have to take these"
"Because they help with your anxiety and depression."
"No they don't, they don't work at all"
"Still you have to take them"
"Fine"
So I took the pills but Jamie didn't leave like normal.
"So umm what do you spend your time doing around here"
"None of your business"
"Well I'm sorry to tell you but when you first came here..."
"Yeah go on"
"You were right about the whole diary thing. Your counselor has to check it today."
And just then my counselor walked into the room.
Ok so I'm now having a panic attack and all Nurse Jamie is doing is staring at me.
I could feel my heart pounding body shaking and mind racing.
"Are you ok Scarlett" Diane my therapist said.
I knew the only way this was going to go away was if I got a razor and cut myself.
"Oh no. No no no no no"
"Scarlett breathe"
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT BEFORE"
"I wasn't allowed to"
I ran out my room and into the art room. I locked the door behind me and began picking a razor out a sharpener. Then Jamie and Diane came running after me try to get into the room.
"Scarlett STOP"
"Hell no"
Then I got the razor out.
"THERES OTHER WAYS TO GET RELIEF!"
"I'm having a panic attack and the only way to make it go away is to cut!!!"
"NO THERES OTHER WAYS!!"
I knew a guard would be here any minute to open the door and let him in so I couldn't sit and talk. Now my panic attack was even worse.
Then I cut myself hard and deep but not deep enough to kill me. Then Jamie and Diane burst through the doors.
Then Jamie took the razor out my hand.
"Oh no no. Scarlett look at me"
"Why so we can talk because I don't want to talk"
"No so I can figure out what's wrong"
Then she wrapped my arms in gauze and took me back to my room and Nurse Jamie followed.
"Because of this you'll have counseling twice a day and therapy once a day"
"Whatever"
"Whatever, you could have killed yourself."
"No I wouldn't have. If I was trying to kill myself I would have cut deeper and vertically because we all know if you really want to die slit both your wrist vertically. I just needed relief"
"Ok what did you need relief from"
"You, her, this place...this world"
"Ok what started the panic attack was Nurse Jamie telling me you were going to look through that diary"
"Well we have to to make sure your that is planning anything or thinking about anything bad we can get you the proper help"
"That's an invasion of privacy"
"Well while your here we need to know this stuff. You'll be under intensive care from now on"
"Like I said whatever"
"Do you have any idea of how serious this is"
"No shit. I'm the one that locked myself in the art room and cut myself in front of both of you. Of course this is serious." I said while rolling my eyes.
"Ok the level of disrespect your giving me right now is unacceptable"
"Whatever"
Then I tried to leave knowing there was no way I was going to be able to escape when I'm under intensive care. Ms. Diane stopped me kept me in my room.
"You can't leave"
I just stood there.
"Now I have to see what you wrote in the journal that was so bad it caused you to cut yourself right in front of me"
Nurse Jamie had left already and was attending to another patient, so it was just me and Ms. Diane.
"No"
"Sorry but I have to"
"No I'll have another panic attack and this one won't end as peachy as the last"
"Ok let me get a guard in here to make sure nothing happens"
Then one of the guards walked into my room and stood by the door.
"Ok let's see"
Now I can feel the next panic attack coming on. I start pacing back and forth and my heart is pumping. Then Ms. Diane opened my journal to the first page where I wrote my suicide note.
"Your planning on killing yourself here?"
Now I had to get out of here. I ran for the door but the guard blocked me and kept me in.
"Calm down Scarlett"
"CALM DOWN? HOW CAN I CALM DOWN!!!"
"Take deep breaths"
"FUCK THAT I NEED A RAZOR NOW"
"You need to find other ways to cope with this"
"I CAN'T"
Then I started remembering all those horrible things my my mom did to me. How my dad was dead. And how I couldn't see or talk to Amy or Avery.
"I'm worthless. A worthless piece of trash that deserves to be thrown out. Amy and Avery would know what to do, they probably are so tiered of me. I should just go."
I sat on my bed and remembered every single thing anyone has ever done to me.
"Your not worthless Scarlett and I'm sure your sisters love you"
"No they don't. They probably hate me like everyone else. I'm unloveable."
"No your not, we all love you"
Then I rolled up my sleeves and unwrapped the gauze.
"Is this love to you."
Then I unwrapped my hand where my mom burned it.
"Is this what love is?"
Then I rolled up my shirt revealing a bunch of bruises on my stomach.
"I don't know why everyone lies. They say they love me, then stick my hand in a boiling pot of water. They scream and curse and beat me down."
"Scarlett, is that what your mom did to you"
I ignored her question and kept talking.
"But I lie too. Every time I say I'm fine I'm crying and screaming on the inside. I just want to go home and live with Amy and Avery."
"I know but you can't"
"Why can't you let me die already. I'm a wast of time"
"We can't. To many people care about you including me"
"I'm done. When can I leave this hospital"
"When your better mentally and physically"
********
Now it's lights out and Nurse Jamie comes in with my pills.
"Soo here's your anti depressants and anxiety as well as your sleeping pills"
"Ok give them to me"
"Wait your actually going to take them?"
"Yeah"
"Oh ok here"
I took my pills and Jamie left. I'm to tired to try to do anything so I go to sleep.
**********
I wonder if anything will go right for Scarlett. You'll see in the next chapter. Cya!😁