I just got out of the hospital today and I remember everything now. My sisters and foster parents decided not to put me back into that hospital but I still have therapy and counseling.
"How are you feeling Scarlett?" Amy said.
I just looked at her with dead eyes.
"Not good looks like..."
"I mean well yeah I just tried to kill myself" "again" I mumbled.
"I know but still...let's finish that conversation"
"What conversation?"
"Just before we got the phone call about dad"
"Oh that, sure I guess"
"So what made you want to kill yourself this time?"
"Well it all started with Wendy"
"Who's Wendy?"
So I told her all about Wendy in the hospital and how she left without me and blah blah blah.
"So that's why?"
"Pretty much"
"Are you going to try this again?"
"Not yet"
"I care about you Scar and I love you, so please try to get better"
"You don't think I'm trying"
"That's not what I meant"
"Well what did you mean"
"I know your doing your best I can't and won't let you go, ever"
"It is so incredibly hard ok, no one could love such a broken girl. I'm not worth it okay, if I had died my first attempt you would be recovering from it and you would go on with your life. Even if I stay here I'll still not be worth all of this."
"But you are worth it, how many times do I have to tell you, you mean so much to me and Avery"
"All I do is hurt the people I love and I don't want to do that anymore"
Then Avery walked into my room and sat with me and Amy.
"Let's go for a walk, all three of us"
"Why" I said.
"Just come on, stop being so lazy"
"Fine"
I threw on a jacket and we started walking. We walked and walked and finally Avery stopped. We were in this field with no one around except us.
"I have something to tell you Scarlett"
Amy and I were both confused.
"What?" I said. Then Amy cut in.
"If it's what I think it is I don't think this is a good time to tell her"
"Tell me what?!?!"
They both just looked at each other.
"What is it"
"Well, mom..."
"I'm telling you this isn't a good time" Amy was way more serious this time.
"She needs to know"
"Not now, she just got out of the hospital, we don't want her back in it or worse."
"Are you guys going to tell me what's going on"
"Mom killed herself, She jumped off a bridge"
My heart sank. Even though she abused me degraded me and made me feel like I was worthless, like I was trash it hurt, bad.
I couldn't speak I couldn't even breathe.
"Are you okay?" Amy asked.
I said nothing. Then Avery and Amy hugged me tight as we all cried. After we got it together we just sat in the grass not saying a word.
"When's her funeral?"
"We already had it, last Friday"
That made me feel way worse.
"You buried her without letting me say goodbye"
"We're sorry" Amy said. "They wouldn't let you come"
I got up and looked at them both. With tears in my eyes I screamed at them like I've never before.
"I thought you guys cared about me! How could you!"
"It's not our fault" Avery said.
"Bullshit! You knew how I'd react and still you do this"
"It's not our fault they wouldn't let you come" Amy said.
"Who is they!?!"
"The hospital" Avery said.
That just infuriated me even more. Then I stopped and looked at them.
"Bye, for good this time" I looked away from them and I ran and I didn't stop even though they were chasing after me I still got pretty far away from them. Finally I got to this bridge by the side of a highway and sat there, I took off my jacket and looked at all the cuts I had made. It didn't matter, I wanted to die and that was it. Amy and Avery finally caught up to me but I wasn't going to fail this time, I was finally going to do something right.
"SCARLETT WAIT" I heard Any call.
"DON'T DO IT, WE LOVE YOU AND WE ALWAYS WILL!" Avery said still trying to catch her breath.
I turned around and looked at them crying. I wanted this to be over, my life and my suffering, even if it caused more pain I wanted to die.
"Please Scarlett, we'll run away you can be happy please just don't do this" Avery said. By this time some cops had shown up and were also trying to get me down. So I looked at them one last time and said...
"Amy Avery I love you and don't you ever forget that, and tell Stacy she was my best friend"
"Scarlett please don't go" Amy said.
"Tell Matt he's a dork but I love him, as a friend of course"
"Come on Scar just come down!" Avery said.
"And one last thing" I looked back at them and smiled, "Amy, Avery, please don't forget me."
Then I turned around and closed my eyes, I could hear police men trying to sneak up to me to save me but I was going to die this time. I took a deep breath and let my myself fall. I could hear Amy and Avery screaming and crying, police men running before it was over.
Then I felt a hand grab me wrist. I looked up and saw Matt with my hand trying to pull me up, I was so confused as to how he managed to get pass the police and grab my hand before anyone else.
He pulled me and and I saw Stacy was there too.
I just looked at them speechless. Matt hugged me and we sat on the ground as Amy, Stacy, and Avery joined in.
"Don't you ever do that again" I heard Stacy say.
"I can't believe you Scar, we all care so much about you" Matt said.
"I love you Scarlett" I heard Amy say softly.
But the moment was ruined when I was taken to the hospital everyone followed in Avery's car.
********************************************
I spent the next week in my room not coming out besides to use the bathroom and eat. I'm not allowed to go outside because everyone is scared I'll do it again, but quite honestly, I'm tired of trying to kill myself. None of these people are willing to let me die and I've tried about 4 different times each ending in failure. Stacy told me her and Matt were going to come over to my foster house to surprise me and to welcome me back when they ran into me standing about to jump. Somehow they pushed pass the police, and just as I jumped Matt was able to catch me and Stacy and everyone else there helped me up.
I was so shocked at how many people loved me, even if I still wanted to die, I had them to help me through it and I am getting more help now, dealing with the hard stuff and looking on the bright side of things.
*********
A week Later
I've been going to group therapy and Avery has been heavily watching me making sure I didn't try it again, or try and self harm again.
"So what do you wanna do?, I mean you can't leave the house" Avery asked.
"Sleep, now go away"
"You need to get up, you've been sleeping for hours"
"I said leave me alone, I'm tired"
"Come on get up sleepy head"
Then she pulled the covers off me and I yelled at her, but she forced me to get up.
"Eat some breakfast"
"I'm not hungry"
"Your still going to have to eat"
"I said I'm not hungry"
"Here's some cereal, eat it please"
I stared at her for a second and ate the cereal. I got up to head to the bathroom when Avery stopped me.
"Sit down, let's talk for a bit"
"I need to use the bathroom" And I started to head upstairs, then Avery grabbed my arm and pulled me back to the table.
"I'm not going to let you go up there and puke up the only food you've eaten all day"
"I'm... whatever" I just stopped my sentence cause I knew what I was about to say was very untrue.
"Sooo how's school been?"
"Hell"
"Come on it couldn't have been that bad, speaking of which, when are you going back to school?"
"Next year, I have to do 7th grade over again"
"Oh that sucks, hey about that get Matt..."
I started blushing a bit even though I don't like Matt.
"Yeah what about him"
Avery just stared at me and grinned. That type of grin were you think someone is in love or something.
"Ok don't look at me like that"
"You like him don't you?" She smiled even wider.
I grinned even though I was mad. It felt good to finally have a real smile on my face.
"What....no...I.....I don't like him"
She busted out laughing. "You like him you like him"
"Oh my god could you stop, I don't like him"
"Then why are you smiling, you hate smiling and I haven't seen you smile in a long time"
"I can smile, even if I don't want to I can"
"So you don't want to smile but your body's forcing you to. And your blushing, is that also just you blushing because you want to"
"Shouldn't you be at school"
"This conversation isn't over"
"Just ended, so why aren't you at school"
"Schools out for me right now, meaning I have a whole summer to spend with you and Amy"
"Kill me please" I said sarcastically.
Just then one our foster dads walked into the house and so did Amy.
"Well looks like my shift over, don't take that the wrong way, so I'll see you tomorrow Scar"
"Yeah yeah"
Then Avery walked out but before she closed the door she yelled "Scarlett likes that kid Matt!" And she closed the door and ran off to her car.
"Oh no she didn't" I tried to run after her but she was already gone. I looked at Amy and Adam and they were both smiling at me.
"Don't look at me like that" I ran upstairs and Amy followed me. When I got to my room I couldn't lock the door because they took all the locks off the door. So Amy just waltzed in.
"What do you want"
"You like Matt" she said with a big smile on her face.
"No I l don't like Matt" My cheeks were still red so of course she didn't believe me.
"Yeah right, you finally have a crush, I've been waiting for this moment. And your lucky because he likes you too."
"I don't like Matt" I couldn't help but smile a little. She looked at me wide eyed but did say anything and walked out laughing.
"I DON'T LIKE MATT AMY, DON'T YOU DARE TELL HIM I DO!!!!!" I was mad but really tired so I just went to sleep.
********************
Ok so at first she was going to end up jumping and I had wrote a whole funeral and everything before deciding I really wanted her to live and get through this. Hope you guys enjoyed the little twist at the end and if you've read and remember the first chapter then you should know who Matt is. Also do you think I should have Scarlett date Matt? Comment your answer.
Really hope you guys liked it and I'll cya next time.👍😅