Scarlett's POV
After that run in with one of moms old boyfriends I've felt a lot sadder. It's like no matter what I do I can't escape the past. It always comes back to haunt me.
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"Scarlett! Amy! Come eat dinner!" I heard Adam call us down to eat dinner.
Great, now I had to eat. I mean I'm already feeling sad and I don't want to make it worse by filling my body with fat.
I reluctantly walked downstairs to see we're having roasted chicken. You have got to be kidding me.
"Hey girls how was your day" Stan asked.
"Mine was fine" I said
"Mine was actually really good" Amy said
I don't want to mess up her day. What am I gonna do what am I gonna do?!?
"Well what'd you do today?" He asked.
And she went on the whole rant about the things she did today. I'm not a very talkie person but Amy most certainly is.
All of their sounds just kind of slowly got drowned out by the noise in my head. I really shouldn't eat this. I'll gain weight. Then I'll gain more and more and more and then I just be a fat fucking pig. What am I gonna do what am I gonna do. I stared at the food angrily.
I guess Amy noticed because she said something to me but I couldn't hear her I was to focused on all the things that would happen if I ate this food.
"Scarlett!, Scarlett!"
I slowly came back and realized Amy was trying to get my attention.
I looked up to see they were all staring at me.
"Why are you all looking at me like that?"
"I was basically screaming at you and you weren't responding"
"I was just thinking"
"About what?"
"Thoughts are in our head for a reason Amy"
"I wanna talk to you after dinner"
"Why do we always have to talk about everything, we're sisters. We should have secrets from each other.
"Well we're different, I want to talk to you after dinner"
"Ok ok fine. We'll talk"
Everyone finished eating and I realized I didn't want confrontation, so I ate. It was like I was filling my body with poison I hated it. I thought this whole eating disorder crap was behind me.
I finished and got up and put my plate in the dishwasher and went upstairs to talk to Amy.
"Hold on a second need to use the bathroom"
"Scarlett"
"Yeah what?"
"Come here" She said it so calmly it almost scared me.
"Why?"
"You know why"
"It's not what you think"
"Scarlett I've lived with you for basically all of my life and I know when somethings wrong or off"
"I'm fine, really"
"Your not Scarlett, you say you are but your not"
"Yes I am why can't you believe it"
"Lift up you shirt"
"Why?"
"Just do it"
I knew she wasn't gonna ask again so I just did it. We both stared at my ribs. I didn't realize how skinny I had gotten. I was skin and bone.
"Do you see why I don't want you to go to the bathroom now?"
"Amy listen, this food inside me has to leave. It's just disgusting. How do you not agree with me?!?"
"Scarlett, starving yourself won't help you"
I just looked at her in disbelief. Did she seriously just say that.
"Please tell me what's wrong. You don't do this unless you feel things are out of control. Is that it? Do you feel like things are out of control?"
"Can we not do this right now"
"We don't have to talk now but I'm not letting you puke up all the food you just ate"
"Do you want me to be fat or something?!?!"
"Scarlett your not fat. You're beautiful and perfect just the way you are and you don't need to change anything."
"That's easy for you to say. Your miss perfect. Your perfect everything always"
"That's not true Scar"
"Really, what problems do you have right now"
She rolled up her pant legs and the were old burn scars on her leg.
"You self harmed?"
"It was a long time ago. When we were still with mom. Things in my head were getting worse and I wanted to be strong for you but I cracked a little and this was the result. I haven't done it in like two years so it's nothing to worry about but I'm just trying to show you that even I have my own set of problems"
"I'm sorry. I'm such a fucking idiot"
"No your not scar"
I just started spiraling
"I should've known. What the fuck is wrong with me stupid stupid stupid"
I started scratching the back of my neck and Amy grabbed me.
"Hey hey Scarlett look at me. It's not your fault. Ok? It's not your fault."
I started to calm down a bit and realized that the food was still in my body.
"Please just let me use the bathroom now"
"Scarlett-"
"Amy I'm just going to use the bathroom ok?"
"Fine, go"
So I went to the hallway bathroom and closed the door. I looked inside the medicine cabinet for a razor but I couldn't find one. I wasn't gonna use it to cut or anything but it just brought me comfort to know I had it. So I looked inside the draws and everything and still nothing.
"Scarlett I'm standing outside the door and it doesn't sound like your using the bathroom to me."
"Uh, just give me a minute!"
"Im coming in"
And just as she walked in I found a razor and it was actually clean.
"What are you doing?"
"Nothing" I balled my hands to hold the razor.
"Give it to me Scarlett"
"Give what to you?"
"The razor"
"I don't have a-
"Scarlett just give it to me"
"Amy I'm not even gonna use it"
"Give it to me"
"No"
"What'd you just say"
"No"
"GIVE IT TO ME RIGHT NOW, IM NOT PLAYING WITH YOU"
"You know your acting just like mom" I could feel the tears building up in my eyes.
"Scarlett all I want is for you to getting better but you won't cooperate"
"I'm trying as hard as I can. Things are finally going good and then Andy came and fucked it up and now I feel like I'm right back where I started."
"Scarlett you've made so much progress. And this is just one setback. You'll get through it"
"I'm sorry"
"It's ok you don't need to apologize for anything. You've done nothing"
"It'll just be one"
"No Scarlett you have to fight it"
"I just need one cut, one"
"Scarlett give me the razor please"
I started rolling up my sleeve and Amy started walking closer to me. I backed up.
"Scarlett"
I lifted up the razor to my arm and I was about to do it but then Amy grabbed my wrist.
"Let go!"
"No, drop it, now"
"Let go of me!!"
"I'm not gonna sit back and watch you hurt yourself!!"
"Then just turn around you don't have to see!!"
"Scarlett I'm not letting you go unless you drop the razor"
"Can you please just stop!!!"
"Just drop it!!"
I dropped the razor and she picked it up and put it in her pocket.
"I'm gonna have to give this to Adam"
"No no no please don't tell him he'll put into some other program"
"Scarlett I have to."
I started panicking and thinking. I stuck my hand in my mouth and started gagging.
"Scarlett stop!!!!
She basically tackled me and held me in the floor so I couldn't move.
"Let go of me!!!!"
"Stop trying to puke your food!!!!"
"Stop!!!"
She let go of my hands and immediately tried again. And she held my arms so I couldn't move again.
"Stop!!!"
"Stop trying to puke!!!!"
"No!!!"
"Then we'll be here all night!!!"
"What is going on in here???"
Adam walked in on us in the floor arguing with each other.
"Amy let go of her"
And she did. I looked at her and shot her the most evil stares I could.
"Now what's going on?"
"Scarlett-" Amy started.
"Don't you dare" I cut in.
"Well you obviously don't have any self control"
"I do to!!"
"No you don't!!"
And we started tackling each other. Then Adam ran over and broke us up. We were both sent to our room. I could hear Amy telling him everything. What an asshole.
Then Adam came into my room to talk to me.
"Hey Scarlett"
I rolled over in bed facing away from him.
"We need to talk"
"I don't want to talk"
Then he came over and sat at the edge of my bed.
"What's going on?"
"Nothing"
"Is it because of your moms old boyfriend?"
I sighed and told him the truth.
"Yeah
"Come on talk to me please, I'm here to listen"
I sat up in bed looking at him.
"Fine. I was thinking to much and I was getting into my head at dinner about eating. It's not that your foods bad or anything it's just. I was sad and I didn't want to make it worse but I didn't want a confrontation about me eating so I ate it. And Amy wanted to talk to me so before that I was gonna go into the bathroom and puke it up. But then I got distracted and started looking for a razor. I wasn't gonna cut or anything I just wanted to have it. And then Amy came in and demanded for it cause she knew I had it and after she grabbed me I dropped it and started at least trying to get that food out of me. And that's how all of the rest of this started."
"Thanks for telling me. If you ever feel sad and don't want to eat I'm not gonna force you to unless it starts to become a regular thing."
"It's not"
"And as for the razor Amy gave it to me and I'll be throwing it away, ok?"
"Fine"
"I'm not going to punish either of you but if something like this happens again, please just come and talk to me or Stan if your more comfortable with him."
"Okay"
He looked at me and I looked at him and we hugged. I don't think I've ever even shook his hand before let alone hug him. But something about it just felt right.
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I hope you guys enjoyed this one😅 It's definitely on the longer side but that's because there are more details in it.
Scarlett is on a roller coaster ride of emotions and actions and I can't wait to write more. Give this chapter a vote if you liked it.
Hope you all enjoyed😅
And I'll cya next time😁